"Thinking First, Doing Later" - (It's All About The Thinking)

by: Virginia McBride

What is the most frequently heard complaint in business? How about, "I don't have enough time?" Do you say it to yourself? Do you say it to other people? Do you take work home? Do you return to work on the weekends? Do you identify the cause of the complaint of not having enough time? After all, we all have the same amount of time in every 24-hour period. Now, let's turn the complaint around. How do you use your time?

ANSWERING THE QUESTION - For starters, look at your calendar for the last week or month. What occupied the bulk of your time? What do you remember of each event? How many meetings did you attend? How many of those meetings were simply up-dates of past work or on-going work? How many phone conversations did you have? What was the purpose of those calls? How many people were involved simultaneously in the calls? How many lunches were on your calendar? What was accomplished during those lunches? Get a sense of what gobbles-up your time, especially what is non-productive.

If you do not maintain a calendar, take any work-day and document how you use your time. To see patterns, divide the day into modules that are small enough for you to identify wasted time. Fifteen minutes is a good working module. Record everything, even the "snack breaks." At the end of the day, ask yourself, "If I were leaving for vacation to Paris on an airplane tomorrow morning, how would I have changed my day?" Do not allow yourself to move "work" to your vacation. Be brutally honest.

WHAT'S MISSING - Chances are good that no time was set aside specifically for thinking. Everything was DOING! However, thinking, especially before doing, accelerates your doing.

For example, suppose someone asked you to move a pile of dirt from Point A to Point B. How would you complete the task? What steps would you go through? Whatever the situation, ask questions for clarification. These are mostly Yes/No questions. Do you care what the pile looks like at Point B? Do you have a preference for how the pile is moved? Must the entire pile be moved to Point B? Is there anything you want us to NOT do? Is there anything you want us to avoid? Clarification, even if detailed to the point of being picky, takes just a couple of minutes. In the end the job is done the way the pile owner wanted it done. Sadly, the rule of the workplace is there is never enough time to do something correctly the first time. Yet, there is always time to fix it later.

PLAN YOUR THINKING TIME - One, establish a thinking module that you can insert regularly into each day. Personally, I find that I can generally protect, without interruption, at least one 15-minute module during each day. No phone calls accepted. No instant messages read. Only thinking about my chosen focus. On good days, I can carve out bigger modules of time for focused thinking.

Two, establish a thinking agenda. Generally, I start with a "frustration" agenda. These may be problems that I am facing or ones for which I have responsibility. These may also be ideas that I want to develop for future programs, services, products, etc. These may also be "wish lists" of things I wish I could get to. These may also be priorities that I must address.

Three, whatever your choice, ask any clarification questions of yourself that come to mind. Write them down. If you do not write them, they have a funny way of flying away on even the most gentle breeze - especially if your 15 minutes expires.

Four, answer all of your clarification questions. Then document what additional questions came to mind that were not specifically for clarification. These most frequently are HOW and WHY questions. Answer the HOW questions first. The answers you get may refocus your thinking on the WHY questions.

Five, with the clarification complete, you are now free to think about who else should be involved in thinking about your choice. When you have them identified, send them a message - convene a meeting, if you must - that you would like them to spend at least 15-minutes a day for the next five days thinking about how to "deal" with the "frustration." Ask each person to write one idea each day and send it to a designated person who will compile all of the suggestions. (If you regularly use project management software, post the compilations there. If you do not have a simple software, check out for their BaseCamp product.) The compiler then forwards the list of ideas to everyone who contributed.

At the end of the week, prepare a total list of the ideas. Ask your idea people to vote for the top three that they believe should be moved forward for additional thinking. File the non-selected items for future thinking adventures.

Six, with much significant thinking completed, take the top three ideas and repeat the process. What additional thinkers should be included? Your original thinkers can offer suggestions. Repeat the process as long as you are getting quality ideas or you are expanding your group of thinkers. At some point, when you feel you are ready to move to decision-making and execution, close the idea session.

MOVING TO THE FUTURE - As you close the endeavor, ask your idea-providers how the process worked for them. Identify participants who would like to be included in future thinking events. Continuing, ask what changes they would make to the process, how they would evaluate their sense of productivity during the thinking event, what items they believe should be the next focus, how should people be chosen to participate in the next thinking event?

Finally, take a quiet moment for yourself to reflect on the thinking process and the thinking event. You were all "DOING the THINKING." Was everyone working? You betcha! Big time! And, the brains of most of the participants returned repeatedly to thinking about their focus throughout the day and week, well beyond the stipulated 15-minute module. Chances are good that everyone felt excited about the thinking and about the possible outcomes of the thinking.

If you lead by showing that you value thinking, others will follow you. By contrast, if you lead by showing that you value doing-without-thinking, people will mirror your behavior. Remember, thinking is exciting. Learning about "collective thinking" as a productivity tool is incredibly valuable and powerful. Now, ask yourself how you can use the "Thinking First" positioning to shorten the "work-week" while increasing productivity throughout your company. Thinking first accelerates your doing, your best doing!

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Integrating and Putting It All Together

by: Lloyd Irvin

Across 17 chapters, mental preparation concepts and techniques have been discussed in detail in this book. We now look at how to bring it all together in an easy step-by-step approach for a grappler or combat athlete to start applying these methods on a regular basis. Some key points from earlier chapters will be highlighted here to emphasize their importance in a comprehensive mental preparation program. The steps outlined here take into account all aspects of mental preparation discussed in this book. It gives you a complete and integrated approach to mental preparation. Grapplers and combat athletes who believe that they are already good at some aspects of mental preparation can choose the ones in which they believe they need help.

Twenty Steps to an Integrated Mental Preparation Program

STEP 1: At the very top the heap, the very first thing you should do is goal setting.

Several aspects of your mental framework are dependent on the goals that you start out with in your grappling or combat athletics career. Your goals will

• decide your motivation levels
• define you career track
• define your ambition
• indicate your level of commitment to the sport

Goals have to be set over an extended length of time (i.e., long-, medium-, and short-term goals), to give you the right perspective on where you are headed. You have to also periodically set performance-based goals based on your assessment of the skill areas in which you are deficient. Let's take a look at an abridged version of the key issues in achieving your goals.

Achieving your goals:

Your long-term goals (5-10+ years) are your vision for yourself and path that you hope your grappling or combat athletics career will take in the coming years. Your preparation has to start now, both mentally and physically if you want to participate in a national title or world title in a few years.

Getting mentally ready for major tournaments is a composite of your preparation and experiences over several years. Learning and skill development go through a gradual progression in eventually preparing you for the cherished big fights.

Medium-term goals (1-5 years) require that you constantly assess what is happening within the grappling and combat athletics fraternities, look for opportunities, evaluate the competition in terms wins and losses, and so on.

Short-term goals (6 months), given their immediacy, will require planning the exact dates when you should practice, train, and get yourself physically and mentally ready. The fitness regimen that you will follow, your diet program, your mental preparation, and the coaching sessions that you plan to attend all fall into place when you do the planning to achieve your short-term goals.

Performance-based goal setting:

This requires that you and your coach make an objective identification of weak areas or deficiencies in your and go about finding ways to improve your skills in those areas. These deficiencies could be in technique or they could even be in mental skills. You basically have to identify those aspects of your preparation that need enhancement to deliver peak performance. Since this type of goal setting is performance related, players feel motivated enough to see it through and overcome the weak, in their performance. What emerges is a goal-directed, mental skills training program, whereby the goals that have been set could be measured over time.

STEP 2: Commit yourself to consistency in mental skills preparation and follow the techniques on a regular basis. Mental skills work best if they are practiced and applied regularly. Develop a daily regimen. It can be as low as half an hour per day, but the positive results will be evident within a few weeks.

STEP 3: If you nurse a bloated ego, tone it down much before the match begins. A bloated diminishes the urge and ability to learn during practice sessions. You need an ego in order to develop the right competitive frame of mind, but too much of an ego can eventually pull you down. Use tips provided in Chapter 7 to deal with a big ego.

STEP 4: Sizing up your opponent is the next thing you should do in your mental preparation.

a) Analyze the history of the opponent's performance in terms of wins or losses and skills weak points displayed in previous matches.
b) Try to recall and bring to the fore any tactics that your opponent uses, so that you can build a strategy to neutralize them.

STEP 5: Apply the four-point approach to strategizing.

• Play to your plus points
• Be aware of shortcomings and vulnerabilities in your opponent
• Be aware of your own vulnerabilities
• Be flexible and develop alternative strategies

Build-in "If statements" to make your strategy as flexible as possible. Also, develop specific tactics to make your strategy workable.

STEP 6: Use simple methods like writing, audio-recordings, or computers to store your plan and strategy and commit it to your memory. Writing things down is one of the easiest ways to commit something to memory. Your recall of the information will significantly go up. It is also readily available to you for reference whenever you need to refresh your memory.

STEP 7: Use simulation to recreate the challenges and stresses in a real match.

STEP 8: Learn to visualize in order to mentally extend your practice time and to rehearse your moves in your mind on a regular basis.

Steps 9-14 have to be learned and applied almost simultaneously for the best effect. These steps address the many issues related to the critical mental process of achieving "Focus."

One of the most critical aspects of mental preparation is in applying all the mental skills required to achieve the multidimensional quality of focus.

Multidimensional facets of focus:

• If you are motivated, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a healthy ego rather than a bloated ego, it brings focus to your game.
• If you concentrate on the task on hand, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are alert and attentive, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a winning attitude, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have ambition and killer instinct, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have passion for the game, it brings focus to your game.
• If you shed mental baggage and negativity, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are consistent with your training, it brings focus to your game.
• If you develop your memory retrieval skills, it brings focus to your game.

STEP 9: Identify your motivators. Motivation is the fulcrum on which your sports career hinges.
If demotivated, use the tips provided in Chapter 7 to tide you over the depressed feeling. For instance, never view a single failure in isolation-you have to take a collective approach to your triumphs and failures. Your self-assessment has to straddle a set of tournaments rather than any one tournament where you could not achieve a win.

STEP 10: You can learn the "Distraction Breakers" and/or "Concentration Builders" to improve your involvement in your matches. When you concentrate, you will be able to use your mind at optimal levels to call on all aspects of your preparation and prepared at all times. Each of these can bring a high level of focus into your learning process and your performance in a match.

STEP 11: Analyze your attitude to the game and toward competition. Attitude is all about developing the right mindset and outlook to play in a competitive game. Attitude actually comprises three distinct traits:
a) Professional approach to competition: The "Assertive" approach is without a doubt the most professional approach to competition, and it is the best way to develop a winning attitude.
b) Determination and grit
c) Passion for the game

STEP 12: Override negativity by getting rid of mental baggage such as injury trauma, game failure, or problems in your personal life. Regain control over your thought processes and move ahead.

STEP 13: Make good use of practice sessions to develop both technique and mental skills.

• Prior to starting your practice, spend a few minutes thinking about what you would like to do, learn, and improve. Clearly outline issues that you want to deal with, such as styles, moves, concentration, intensity, alertness and so on.
• Display proactiveness and drive during training and treat it like a real game.
• Exercise control over your thought processes during training in much the same way that you will have to do in a match.
• After the practice session, spend a few minutes reflecting on what you learned and what you can follow up on in your spare time.
Maintain a performance monitor diary or audio recording.

STEP 14: Improve memory retrieval to efficiently apply the mental skills techniques.
Learn to use the "Image Cue Technique" and the "Structured Memory Technique:” They will help you with quick retrieval of your game plan, your styles, and your moves, during a match.

Steps 15 and 16 have to be followed a lot more diligently in the last few days before a match begins because that's when confidence wanes and stress sets in.

STEP 15: Use confidence-building techniques like positive self-talk, and "weeding-out," to build confidence in yourself. Learn to believe in your abilities.
Confidence + Belief in Self = Toughness

STEP 16: Relax: Try out the many relaxation techniques outlined in the book.

STEP 17: Deal with emotions-anger, fear-using the techniques provided.

STEP 18: Continue to use mental preparation in the few minutes before the game. These include breathing exercises, visualization and self-talk. The breathing exercises will help you stay calm visualization will bring top-of-mind the key styles and techniques that you want to use, and self-talk will maintain your confidence at high levels.

STEP 19: During the match, concentrate on the game as it unfolds, play your game as you planned it, be proactive and aggressive, pay attention and gauge your opponent's strategy, and be wary and alert at all times. You should also refocus as often as necessary so that you don't lose track of your game plan. Use breathing techniques if necessary to assist you in refocusing.

STEP 20: Post match review - Be brutally honest with yourself when you evaluate your performance. It will help pinpoint any weaknesses in your technique or mental skills. You can then run these weak areas more often in your preparation for the next match.

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10 Top Things That Go Wrong With Willpower, and How to Fix Them

by: Luc Reid

1. Not having a clear goal in mind

Not knowing exactly what you want, or knowing that but not keeping it in mind, makes it very hard to remember what you need to do or why. If you don’t have a clear, short explanation of your goal that you could give anyone who asked at a moment’s notice, talk with a friend or write down your ideas until you can summarize your goals without even having to think about it. Then make sure to tell yourself about your goals regularly.

2. Trying to pursue more than one goal at a time

While it’s not absolutely impossible to pursue more than one goal at a time, doing so dilutes attention, focus, and mental resources. We only have so much time, attention, and effort we can put into changing our lives: trying to do more than one thing at a time is inviting trouble. What’s the single most important goal you have in front of you? Once you’re well on your way with that single, most important goal, it might be possible to get started on a second one.

3. Not being committed

Being committed to a goal means accepting it, taking complete responsibility for it yourself, and being willing to submit to the changes it will require in your life. (See Why Self-Reliance Requires Surrender.) If you’re not fully committed to your goal, feelings of resentment or rebelliousness, or a tendency to blame forces outside yourself for being in the situation you’re in, will block you from moving forward.

4. Failing to plan out specific steps

Knowing your goal is important, but in order to make real progress toward it, you’ll need to know exactly what you expect yourself to do. At any moment, you’ll need to know what the step you’re working on is and what the next step will be when you’re done with that.

5. Not setting aside time

You won’t make much progress toward your goal if you don’t set aside time to work on it. If you just try to fit it in when you have spare time, you’ll find your goal often gets lost in the shuffle.

6. Not keeping up a feedback loop

Having a feedback loop means stopping regularly (at least once or twice a week) to look carefully at what you’ve been doing to reach your goal and noticing what you need to work on, pay more attention to, improve, handle differently, or keep up. Some techniques for doing this include journaling, meeting with a group, blogging, participating in an online forum, or talking with a friend who’s helping you keep on track.

7. Not paying attention to your thoughts

Building willpower or reaching a goal means changing habits, and changing habits means paying more attention to when decisions are arising and what factors are influencing our decisions. Bad choices are very often choices that we rushed past or didn’t think carefully through at the time. Understanding what’s going on in our own minds when making choices doesn’t always get us to make better choices, but it’s a necessary step to getting better and better at making those choices. For one way to become more aware of your choices and thinking, read How To Improve Willpower Through Writing Things Down: Decision Logging.

8. Not enjoying the steps

It’s easy to think of the steps we need to take to reach a goal as being painful or difficult, but finding the pleasure in those steps simplifies everything. See Using enjoyment as a tool to reach goals.

9 Not preparing

If we wait until we’re actually faced with choices, we may not be prepared to tackle them well. Some choices even pass by before we realize they were coming, unless we prepare by looking ahead. An example is lateness: being on-time means planning intelligently for when to leave for an appointment and getting everything ready beforehand so that it’s possible to leave at that time. Even for choices we recognize as they come up, we may not be mentally or emotionally prepared to tackle them. Paying attention to broken ideas, meditating, and organizing are some of the techniques we can use to prepare ourselves to do better.

10. Taking setbacks too hard

Changing habits is hard, and doing a difficult thing day after day often means some short-term setbacks or failures. Failure doesn’t need to be a pattern: it can be taken as a learning experience. Consider that if a person is trying to quit smoking, their chances of succeeding are much higher if they have tried and failed to quit smoking before than if they had never tried. Even failure is a step forward. It’s not trying at all that we have to watch out for.

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How to Strengthen Willpower Through Practice

by: Luc Reid

One of the most encouraging pieces of information I’ve turned up lately about self-motivation is that willpower can be strengthened by practice. However, the exact kind of practice is important if you want good results.

Some articles I’ve read liken willpower to a muscle, and suggest that all you have to do to strengthen willpower is to exercise that muscle. A New York Times blog entry makes the recommendation as an example that you try strengthening willpower by making yourself brush your teeth on the wrong side.

The problem with this kind of view is that it assumes willpower is the same thing as self-control, ignoring the other pieces of the puzzle.

Willpower usually involves overcoming ingrained habits we don’t like (like staying up watching television too late every night) or developing new habits that we do like (like taking ten minutes to straighten up at the end of every work day). And while building or breaking habits can be done with self-control to some extent, trying to increase your self-control in general in order to build or break a particular habit is like trying to build a brick wall by lifting weights: sure, you’ll get a stronger over time, and be able to lift the bricks a little more easily. But why not concentrate on the wall? You’ll build up muscles that way anyway.

Concentrating on building the wall means

■ having clear goals
■ understanding what kinds of decisions are going to help get us to those goals
■ recognizing the times when we have such a decision to make, and
■ making the right call at those times.
General self-control only helps with that last piece, and it’s not the only tool we can bring to bear even for that.

The other pieces have a lot to do with self-awareness (mindfulness) and self-understanding, and there are some good techniques to help those things along that I’ll discuss in other posts.

For now, here are some simple guidelines for practices that help build willpower and get you some immediate results at the same time:

1. Begin by choosing one area of your life where you want to make progress
2. Figure out what kinds of decisions you want to see yourself making in that area
3. Put special effort into noticing when those decisions come up
4. Pay attention to your mood and what’s influencing it. Are you more likely to make bad decisions when something’s bugging you? What kinds of distractions keep you from paying close enough attention to your decisions?

The more aware you become of your own mental processes, the more automatically you recognize the chance to make good decisions and can take advantage of them.

There’s a particular technique I’ve been experimenting with called “decision logging” that seems to be very promising in terms of building up willpower and clearing away mental obstacles; I’ll take the opportunity to blog about that in the near future.

Takeaways:

■ Exercising willpower can help make willpower stronger
■ To make good decisions, we have to first figure out what kinds of decisions we want to make
■ Good decisions come in part from understanding ourselves and being aware of our moods and reactions

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7 Key Self-Motivation Strategies for Writers

by: Luc Reid

Writing–especially writing and trying to sell large projects, like novels–is a clear-cut example of an area where self-motivation is essential. While this post is written especially for writers, the techniques I’ll talk about can be applied to practically any kind of project where self-motivation is needed.

Motivating ourselves to write can be hard: blank pages stare at us implacably, or we get 75,000 words into a novel and then realize there’s a basic flaw that will require a huge rewrite, or we’ll get dozens of rejection letters for every acceptance.

Writers generally need enthusiasm for a story to do a really good job of writing it, need to sustain their involvement in a project for months or often years, and need to be able to face rejection after rejection without giving up. Even very good writers typically see many rejections before they sell their work (Stephen King, when he started his career, put a big nail in his wall and spiked each of his rejection letters on there as he went. Fortunately, it turned out well for him in the end, although he collected hundreds of rejection letters before he really got off the ground). Self-motivation is tough in this kind of environment. Here are some tools for maximizing it. These notes can be useful to any writer, but they’re mainly written with fiction in mind.

Pick Your Project Very Carefully

A certain kind of writer tends to write whatever they’re most passionate about, regardless of length, genre, marketability, and so on. Another kind of writer tends to write whatever seems to be the most salable, whatever the market seems to be crying out for. A third kind of writer tends to follow some particular pattern dictated by their writing practices, being propelled neither by passion nor by saleability but by process. All of these approaches have their good points, and each can have real drawbacks under certain circumstances. The approach I would suggest is different from all of these: it’s to put extra effort into brainstorming, then making a careful selection from the possibilities.

What I mean by this is that when it’s time to start a new project–say the last project is finished, or has been scrapped, or needs to sit in a drawer for a while before you can get any perspective on it, or this is your first novel–instead of looking for an idea for a new project, you look for a lot of ideas for new projects, using a variety of methods to come up with them. Review ideas you’ve jotted down or the ones that have been in your head. Look at some of your favorite books and see what you like most about them. Sit down and brainstorm at least two or three ideas out of the blue.

But why go to all this trouble when you have an idea you already know you’re burning to write, or that you think will sell well? Because our first ideas are often not our best ones, and a little time spent picking the right goal can save a huge amount of time working on the wrong one. It’s well worth slaving away at this brainstorming phase for a few hours even if at the end of it you opt for the idea you were interested in in the first place, if for no other reason than to understand deeply and clearly exactly why that idea is the best one for you to work on. And many times careful consideration of possibilities will yield a much better idea than anything that would have come up on its own.

Then comes the choosing. Passion counts for a lot: it’s very difficult to make a reader passionate about a book that the writer wasn’t passionate about when it was written. But other factors should probably figure in too, unless you’re only writing for yourself. Marketability? If you really want to sell your work, it would be ill-advised to ignore this unless you’re of the opinion that it’s impossible to tell what will sell. So writing a vampire novel because you love writing about vampires isn’t a bad idea, and writing a vampire novel because they’re in demand (let’s suppose) can work out well, but by far the best reason to write a vampire novel is that you’re passionate about it and someone’s clamoring to buy that kind of thing.

This applies to any decision: we often try to make choices based on one overwhelming factor, like buying something because it’s the cheapest or because we’re enchanted with it. But any of our priorities we put aside when making an important decision will come back to haunt us later. If the cheapest item breaks long before the more expensive version would have, or if the thing we’re enchanted costs so much that we end up short on the rent …

But what does choosing well have to do with self-motivation? There are two key things: first, it’s not that helpful to motivate ourselves toward a goal we don’t actually want to reach. While even working toward a wrong goal can be educational, the same can be said of working toward the right goal, and the right goal has the additional benefit of paying off, which is an educational experience in itself.

Second, if we are working toward a wrong goal, sooner or later we will realize it isn’t something we really want to achieve (or we’ll achieve it, and the expected payoff will never materialize), and then we’ll be back to zero, with the sense that work gets us nowhere.

Always Keep In Mind What Excites You

Whatever gets you excited about writing a book is worth thinking about regularly. If you find your writing has turned into drudgery and you’re just trying to slog through until the end, you’ll have a lot of trouble motivating yourself and may not produce particularly great writing either (though there can be exceptions to that last part). If you hit this point, one approach that can propel you forward is to ask yourself “What would really get me excited about this project right now that I’m not already doing?” Kill an important supporting character, cause a disaster, give the protagonist what they’ve been striving for and see them realize that it isn’t their real goal at all, add a new character who churns things up … this is another case where more excitement for the writer tends to mean more excitement for the reader. All of this has to be kept in balance with your vision for the story, but if you can’t think of anything that keeps you excited about the writing and is consistent with your vision, maybe it’s time to rethink the vision.

The exception I know of in which drudgery can yield good writing is when you know your story much better than your reader, and so what feels like old hat to you is new and fresh for the reader.

If You Stop Feeling Motivated, Retrace Your Steps

Here’s a question that can be handy in projects that seem to have lost their drive: where was my motivation when I last saw it? Sometimes feeling like you’ve lost your enthusiasm means that you took a wrong turn somewhere. Maybe your interest in the story was being kept up by a minor character who according to your outline (if you use outlines) needed to leave the story a little while ago, but the story hasn’t interested you as much since. If so, it might be worth rethinking that decision. Maybe a character did something that violates who you were hoping for them to be, or made a choice to serve the plot instead of doing what they would really want to do if left to their own devices. Maybe you’re writing a section of the book that isn’t really needed.

Regardless, always be ready to take advantage of this great advantage of writing, that you can make a complete mess of something, but then go back and do it better and get full credit as though you had written it perfectly the first time. There’s a post on this subject on my writing blog: Avoiding Your Story

Use Support, Encouragement, and Deadlines

One of the best motivators for a project is to have a real deadline, with a real person is waiting to see your results. This can be accomplished through joining an active writer’s group, blogging about your writing and including planned deadlines, getting one or more writing buddies and reading each others’ work, signing up for a writer’s workshop for which you’ll need something to be completed by a given date, working on a project for a contest or market that has a firm deadline, or getting truly interested friends or family members to read your writing as you go. It’s powerfully motivating to realize that someone is waiting breathlessly for the next chapter of your book.

If you use this last approach, by the way, you may want to ask the person to write down any feedback they have, but only to give that feedback to you right away if it’s absolutely crucial. The rest can be collected at the end so you can consider it for the second draft. Getting constant feedback can cause constantly reworking what you have, which … well, let’s just make that subject a section to itself.

Don’t Spend All Your Time Reworking

Yes, often writing can be improved by editing or rewriting, but only to a certain point. After a while, more work on the same project will begin to suck the life out of it. Make your story as good as you can make it at the moment, then send it out without spelling errors or major problems. You can set it aside and revisit it once you have perspective, or rewrite it after a rejection if you have a major new insight about it, but don’t just keep fiddling with it it’s perfect: nothing ever is, to the best of my knowledge.

Writer’s Block Is Just Fear of Writing Something That Isn’t Good Enough

On my writing blog I have a lengthy post about writer’s block, which I’ll summarize here as it applies to motivation: it’s always possible to write something, even if that something turns out to be meandering gibberish. So writer’s block doesn’t prevent a person from writing: it makes them hesitant because they might write something bad. Since everyone writes something bad sometimes, this isn’t as dire a situation as it may feel like at the time. Screwing up is an appropriate thing to worry about with surgery or disarming bombs, but it usually just gets in the way to fret about it with something like writing. Remember, you can always fix it in the next pass, and sometimes bad writing ends up being an exploratory draft (a great term I first heard from Orson Scott Card) that will reveal exactly what you need to do to write the really great draft you’re going to put together next.

Don’t Get Too Attached

It’s hard sometimes to look at something you’ve put a lot of work into and decide to scrap it, whether it’s plans for a new business venture that isn’t going to work out, a relationship that turns out to be between the wrong two people, or a brilliant passage in a novel that doesn’t belong there. When you’re faced with these problems, take a step back and ask yourself what will really give you the best result in the long run, then keep the thing or remove it based on that choice (and if applicable, whatever responsibilities you may have taken on).

This doesn’t quite add up to “kill your darlings,” as writers are often urged to do, or as Samuel Johnson put it “wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.” That’s overstating it. Some things you do that you love will just not fit in the project you’re working on, and it’s important to focus on making that project as good as it can be instead of on justifying all the great things you did along the way. Doing great things is its own justification, and it tends to be instructive as well, whether or not they work out in the end. Fortunately, contrary to Johnson’s point, sometimes great passages are doing exactly what they’re supposed to and ought to be left in.

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There’s more I could say on this subject, but I’ve covered the main recommendations I set out to cover, and future posts will have more. In the meantime, how do these recommendations work for you? And writers, what particular self-motivation issues do you run into in your writing?

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Why Tackling Big Tasks Doesn’t Have to Be a Big Deal

by: Luc Reid

Some of the tasks that are hardest to get ourselves to do are the big, overwhelming ones like cleaning out a junk room or garage, doing a full-scale edit on a novel, or organizing papers or files. Often we think about these kinds of tasks as requiring one big push, a big chunk of time that we imagine will be available sooner or later.

That kind of approach to a task can work out badly in at least two ways. First, a task that we think of like that may never get done. Second, even if we do accomplish the task, before long we may find things quickly getting back to the same situation we were in originally. When these kinds of problems rear their ugly heads, it’s time to think about breaking the big tasks down, not only into smaller pieces, but into habits.

What I mean about breaking a task down into a habit is looking at what kind of regular behavior can make the problem go away permanently. For example, regardless of whether older papers are filed or not, if new papers keep piling up, there will always be something out of order, and more often than not it will be a big stack (or three, or twelve …). This kind of situation calls for adopting a new habit, possibly even a new rule, about how new paper is handled, regardless of the old stuff. The new habit can be based on an event (for example, every time a new paper comes into the office that isn’t actively in use, it gets recycled or filed) or on a schedule (for instance, all papers get filed every Thursday morning).

Notice that this new habit doesn’t require old problems to be taken care of before it comes into play. It’s easier to be motivated when no old problems are looming, but not letting a problem get worse is still a meaningful and relieving change from ever-renewing chaos.

New habits can even help take care of old problems. For instance, with filing the new habit might be to file each new thing as it comes in along with at least one old paper. In this way, the filing gets done slowly but also fairly painlessly, and it reinforces the value of the new habit. What’s more, doing a little bit of a task that used to seem huge and unmanageable can be very freeing and empowering, often supplying the necessary motivation to get a lot more of it done.

Alternatively, old problems can be handled in small chunks separately from new habits. For instance, you might tackle a junk room or a filing job just 15 minutes at a time whenever you have a free moment.

Regardless, clearing the old problem away can be enormously freeing in terms of the pressure it relieves. Strangely enough, under the right circumstances taking care of something you’ve been avoiding and perhaps even been a little fearful of can be powerfully enjoyable, if you can push past the initial jitters and focus on the progress you’re making and not the problems you may have had in the past.

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What To Do When Self-Motivation Comes And Goes

by: Luc Reid

Here’s an issue Merrie Haskell, a writer, mentions in a comment to an earlier post: “I’ve noticed that I go through periodic surges of willpower. (I guess that’s what I mean.) I will be in a rut for months, and really feel stuck; then wake up one morning, and like a switch has been thrown, go into hyperdrive.”

Merrie’s hyperdrive clearly works for her: she’s sold well over a dozen short stories, including sales to two of the most demanding science fiction and fantasy markets, Asimov’s Science Fiction and Strange Horizons. Clearly doing something well isn’t the same as feeling motivated to do it all the time. So what’s happening?

The short answer is that self-motivation–whether for writing or for any other project–is complex, and there are a number of factors that can influence it. The longer answer names some of those factors, and as we name them, we can begin to see that they influence each other, so that one advantage can turn into a lot of advantages, and one obstacle can turn into a lot of obstacles.

We won’t be able to look at all of the elements of motivation in this one post, or go into any in depth, but we can see some of the more prominent pieces and how they fit together.

Motivating ourselves has some basic requirements. For instance, we usually need to believe what we are trying to do will provide the result we want, to care about the result, and to believe we’re capable of achieving it. In addition to those basic requirements, there are some pieces that can really support and enhance self-motivation, like the support of others, feedback loops, and recognition. Lastly, to consciously pursue a goal, we need to take certain steps, like clarify what the goal is, gather the information we’ll need to make good choices, and figure out where the time will come from to achieve our goal.

If any of these pieces falters, the others can be disrupted, or at least slowed down. For instance, if I’m in the middle of writing a novel and lose faith that anyone will ever be interested in reading it, my enthusiasm is likely to crash. This is a crisis of believing that the goal will achieve its purpose, one of those prerequisites I mentioned.

What makes this worse is that even if I regain that confidence soon after, it has already had a chance to influence other elements. For instance, losing confidence that the novel will be read makes me stop writing, and when I can’t get up the enthusiasm to write, I could lose the belief that I can finish the thing at all. Losing these beliefs can cause me to stop feeling enthusiastic about the goal I picture myself achieving. I stop having writing to show to friends and downplay the importance of the project, which could cause the friends to decide I’m not interested in it any more and withdraw their support for it, which deprives me of the feedback I’d been getting that helped keep the project going. And so on.

So what do we do about these insidious slides? Tackle them one piece at a time. Fortunately, we have an advantage in getting back on track, which is that just as the failure of one element tends to lead to the failure of others, getting one element working encourages the others to work, too. For instance, seeking out someone who’s been enthusiastic about pieces of my novel that they’ve read so far can help rekindle my enthusiasm for the project and my belief that it’s worthwhile, at the same time that it brings in the support of others and provides me with feedback. Clarifying my goal for the book (say, a novel in a given genre of a given length, finished by a given date) and making a plan to meet that goal can get me writing regardless of whether I feel enthusiastic or not, which moves me closer to the goal, which tends to make me more enthusiastic.

This process may sound familiar: it has a lot in common with mood congruity, which I discuss in another post. In either case, the solution is the same: if you break out of the pattern you’re in to do one positive thing, you’ll be going in the right direction.

Takeaways:

■ Strong self-motivation means a number of elements are working together to move the project forward.

■ Problems with one element of self-motivation can cause problems with other elements.

■ If you find yourself losing momentum on a project, find one motivating thing you can concentrate on and focus on doing that, regardless of whether you feel enthusiastic about it at the moment or not.

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How Making Rules Can Improve Willpower

by: Luc Reid

A recent article on the Psychology Today site by psychologist Kelly McGonigal, ”The Self-Control Costs of Moral Flexibility,” talks about research that seems to show that it’s easier to make good choices when we make a rule of them. For instance, it’s easier to choose to do the dishes after dinner if you’ve made a pact with yourself to always do the dishes after dinner.

In the article, McGonigal says “What’s the best strategy, then, for making moral decisions or sticking to a behavior change? Take a principled stance that sets automatic restrictions on your behavior. Weighing the risks and benefits in each situation may seem like the more logical approach, but it’s more effective for most people to commit broadly and then not reflect on each opportunity.”

So creating rules to follow can be powerful, but there are pitfalls: using rules too much or without thinking it through carefully can cause them to fail or even backfire.

First, keep in mind that we have a limited amount of focus, attention, and effort to spare, and that learning to follow rules (even if they’re terrific rules that we’re coming up with on our own) requires all of these resources. If we try to add on a bunch of rules at once–or even two at once–we may be dooming ourselves to failure. As with new goals, it’s often most effective to get used to new rules one at a time.

Second, watch out for unintended consequences. If you make a rule to eat only at specific times throughout the day, are you piling on extra food at the end of each of those meal or snacktimes because of a fear of going hungry? If you decide to study every weeknight at 7:00, does that mean you’ll pass up a golden opportunity to study at another time because you “don’t have to?” Of course, one way to deal with these problems is to try the rules out, then evaluate how they’re working once or twice a week to see if you might be “gaming” them. Don’t try to reevaluate the rule when it’s time to follow it: by doing that you’d be second-guessing yourself at every step and giving up the whole “no struggle” advantage of rules.

Finally, only make rules for things you want to be doing pretty much all the time. Don’t make a rule that you will sit down for ten minutes at the beginning of every workday to review what you accomplished the day before if you know that at least a couple of times a week, there will be more urgent, important things to attend to as soon as you walk in the door. But this kind of rule problem, too, can be fixed with a little bit of reflection once or twice a week to see how you’re doing.

The idea of making rules about your own behavior may be offputting; if so, it may be more productive to think about taking, as McGonigal puts it, a “principled stance.” Regardless, use this technique to make use of your good thinking now to make good choices in advance and free yourself from some unnecessary indecision.

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Broken Ideas And Idea Repair

by: Luc Reid

As a rule, our culture tends to think of emotions as things that well up inside us in a way that’s more or less completely outside our control. We can avoid emotional situations, this point of view goes, or we can suppress them, but they are what we are, and thinking doesn’t enter into it.

I’d like to demonstrate some very useful ways this is completely wrong. I’ll do it using, of course, a mime.

Let’s say our mime–for convenience, we can call him Raoul–is on his way to the park to do a little street performance on a sunny May afternoon. For his performance today, Raoul has purchased three dozen imaginary eggs, which he plans to juggle, balance on his nose, perform magic tricks with, etc. He is carrying the imaginary eggs in mime fashion when he slips on an imaginary banana peel on the sidewalk and crashes to the concrete, right on top of his eggs. Now Raoul is a mess, covered with imaginary egg. All of his eggs are ruined, so there go his performance plans for the day, and to top it off, the people in his otherwise fair city are so rude and thoughtless that they leave imaginary banana peels lying all over the place. Oh, and to make it worse, since it was an imaginary banana peel, clearly it was another mime who did it!

We would expect Raoul to get upset in one way or another. He could sit there, covered with smashed eggs, weeping, or he could fling the gooey, imaginary cartons around in fury, shouting silent curse words. And we probably wouldn’t blame him for this, because through someone else’s carelessness, he’s a mess and his day is ruined.

Now, it’s true that immediately when this happens, Raoul’s brain will start making associations, and brain chemicals will start influencing his behavior–notably adrenaline in response to the unexpected fall and the problems that it has suddenly caused. That helps set the stage, but at the same time Raoul’s brain is likely to be generating what are called “automatic thoughts”: emotionally laden and potentially misleading judgments about what has happened. They might include things like:

“I’m screwed! I needed those eggs for this performance, and if I don’t perform I won’t have enough money to pay the rent tomorrow, and then I’ll probably get kicked out of my apartment!”

“What kind of sick #$!(@ leaves imaginary banana peels lying around all over the sidewalk?”

“This is a disaster!”

These kinds of automatic thoughts are also called “cognitive distortions,” because they are a kind of thinking that encourages belief in things that aren’t true. I’ll use a different term for them, though: “broken ideas.” A broken idea is anything you think up that misleads you. But what’s misleading about the above? Isn’t Raoul just silently telling it like it is?

In all honesty, he isn’t. Raoul’s broken ideas are broken only subtly, but they’ll lead him down a path he doesn’t want to take. For instance, his predictions about being evicted are very likely wrong, even if he isn’t able to come up with every penny of the rent money on time, and the fact that he’s trying to predict the future rather than just evaluate his options is a major red flag. We can’t predict the future in most cases, so basing our actions on assumptions about what will happen tends to lead to badly-chosen actions. Anyway, even in the worst case scenario he can always show how he’s trapped in a box and unable to leave the apartment. This is one of the powers mimes have.

He’s also telling himself he needs the eggs for the performance, when in fact he probably just wants the eggs for the performance, and can either buy more eggs or do a different routine.

And he’s also labeling the banana peel leaver as a (please pardon me for repeating this bad language) “sick #$!(@,” which dehumanizes the person and could lead some real interpersonal problems (like being hit over the head repeatedly with an imaginary stick) if Raoul decides the perpetrator must have been a particular someone he knows and acts toward that person as though they were purposely going around and leaving imaginary banana peels for people to slip on.

So what’s wrong with these ideas is that they’re inaccurate, and more to the point, they tend to lead Raoul in the direction of making bad choices, like going to drown his sorrows in imaginary beer, or marching off to throttle a colleague who is a known banana afficianado. What would make Raoul happiest at the moment would be to somehow find a way to free himself of his anxiety and frustration at the incident, get him to think through what he’ll need to do to go ahead with his performance, and as soon as possible to get him to the park to charm half the passersby and infuriate the other half with his mimetic ways. This way his day could very rapidly get back on track, and no other trouble would need to come of the banana peel fiasco.

How does Raoul do this? We’ll tackle this in much better detail in other posts, but the basic steps are:

1. Relax, step back from the situation, and breathe
2. Use idea repair
3. Get on with your life

Idea repair, which takes some practice to learn but can be wonderfully effective once you have the basics down, is the process of reworking broken ideas to reflect the truth of the situation. For instance, “What kind of sick #$!(@ leaves imaginary banana peels lying around all over the sidewalk?” could be repaired to something like “As much as I wish they didn’t, sometimes people will leave imaginary banana peels on the sidewalk, so I’ll be better off if I’m on the lookout for them.”

Similarly, “This is a disaster!” could be repaired to “This is inconvenient and embarrassing, but if I take the right steps, I can get my day back on track.”

You might be amazed how much stress and distraction idea repair can sometimes clear away. I certainly have been ever since I first learned about the technique a decade or so ago.

Of course there’s much more that could be said on the subject, but that brief summation will have to do for now. I’ll leave you with this final comment from Raoul:

“”

Huh. Well, that’s what I get for trying to quote a mime.

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Antidotes To Bad Moods And Negative Emotions

by: Luc Reid

I’ve talked recently about how emotions can amplify themselves, an effect called “mood congruity.” This phenomenon is like an overzealous lunchlady, who sees a spoonful of mushy peas on your plate and keeps serving you more and more on the assumption that you must obviously love peas. In that post, I talked about the way purposely bringing up thoughts and memories associated with a better mood can help stop the lunchlady, effectively moving us forward in the lunchline to the mashed potatoes or Jell-O.

Buddhist thought offers a more refined version of this idea, the equivalent of trading in our mushy peas for whatever is least like mushy peas on the entire menu. In a book called Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama, this approach is called “emotional antidotes,” and it’s backed up by good science.

The idea behind emotional antidotes is that for each negative emotion, there is an opposite emotion that can be used to dissolve or extinguish the negative one. For instance, have you ever tried administering puppies to someone who’s in a bad mood (assuming they don’t hate puppies, in which case they may be a lost cause)? Science shows us that puppies are inimical to sour moods. This does not mean that the opposite of depression is puppies, although if you have to take away the wrong idea from this post, that’s at least a wrong idea that has some utility.

What specific emotions are antidotes to others? (I’ll depart in some details from the Buddhist model here, partly since emotions as seen through the lens of classical Buddhist thought are not quite the same ones we tend to think of in the West.)

As a prime example, love extinguishes anger–and don’t think I’m getting all touchy-feely on you here. Love is a specific emotion that I’d bet good money you can identify, and most of us can find something that, if we think about it a little, will give rise to feelings of love in us. (As an example, it’s very easy for me to conjure up feelings of love by remembering things about my son.) Anger is not compatible with love: we have only one brain, and that brain will be awash with a specific set of brain chemicals at a any given time. The chemicals that support anger (like adrenaline) are not the same as the chemicals that support love (like oxytocin). Summoning up feelings of love changes our brain chemistry and also harnesses mood congruity to increase those feelings of love, as thinking about one memory that inspires love tends to remind us of other memories that inspire love. Feeling angry and want to change it? Remind yourself of what you love.

Similarly, taking pleasure in things we admire about other people can help defeat jealousy; thinking about things that that excite us can help defeat depression; thinking of things that make us confident or at peace can help defeat anxiety; and so on.

There’s also a panacea of a sort, an antidote to all negative emotions, which is to recognize their emptiness. This is very much like the basic idea behind idea repair: negative emotions very often (though not always!) are based on ideas that are misleading or false, or that assume too much, such as “There’s no way I can learn all this” or “Everybody in the room must think I’m an idiot.” Since we can’t read minds, and since even if we could other people’s thoughts about us do not define us, any anxiety or distress or overindulgence in Doritos that may arise from believing everyone else in the room thinks one is a idiot is acting on an empty, fake, false idea. When we really examine what we’re telling ourselves about what happens to us, often negative feelings evaporate as we examine them in greater depth.

Either way, whether we use specific emotions as antidotes or poke the balloons of our negative emotions until they pop, greater self-understanding or positive feelings can be consciously used as a tool to break up bad moods and negative emotions. And if this doesn’t work, there are always puppies.

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How To Improve Willpower Through Writing Things Down: Decision Logging

by: Luc Reid

In my post How to Strengthen Willpower Through Practice back in May, I mentioned how useful I’d been finding a practice I call “decision logging” in terms of building willpower, and I promised to give proper attention to the subject in the future. Here, after some delay, is that post.

Decision logging (”d-logging”) is a practice we can use to become more aware of what decisions come up for us during a normal day, how we are making those decisions, and what in our lives is influencing those decisions. The payoff of d-logging is that we become much more aware of what’s going on in our own bodies, minds, and environments–more mindful. Mindfulness is a powerful and central factor in improving willpower, because willpower means being able to make good decisions, and making good decisions requires understanding what’s going into them.

D-logging takes effort, but is very simple to do. All that’s required is to commit for a day at a time (preferably multiple days in a row for a total of at least a couple of weeks in total) to jotting down brief notes whenever

1. You notice you have a meaningful decision to make
2. You notice going on with yourself that may influence your decisions
3. You have any insights into your own behavior or thinking
By “meaningful decision,” I mean a decision that deals with an area in which you’re trying to improve your willpower or motivation. It’s not important to d-log about how you pick what to wear for the day or which radio station to listen to unless those are concerns of great importance to you.

The kinds of things that go into a d-log include:

■ Moods
■ Physical sensations, like hunger, fatigue, or comfort
■ Ideas or judgements about what’s going on, like “Everything seems to be going wrong this morning” or “I wish I could remember to be a little more relaxed about driving”
■ When and how meaningful decisions are coming up
■ Anything else that might influence how you make those meaningful decisions
Writing these things down brings them to the forefront of your attention and causes you to see them clearly for at least a moment or two, and seeing them clearly makes it much easier to deal with them. For example, if you’re frustrated about problems you’re having with your car and later in the day find yourself treating coworkers badly, you may find through d-logging that it’s the car that’s really driving your decisions about how to deal with people. Once you recognize this, you may come to the conclusion that taking that frustration out on the people you work with isn’t what you want to do, and you can focus on dealing with your feelings about your car in a more constructive way.

You can d-log on a computer, on paper, or by any other means that suits you (I often use an Alphasmart), but actually writing things down is essential–it’s not enough for this practice to just kind of mentally note them. It’s also essential to be completely honest with yourself and not to leave things out because you feel preoccupied, anxious, embarrassed, or frustrated about them: those are often exactly the kinds of things that are most helpful to recognize.

Of course privacy can be a concern. If you need to, you can toss out what you’ve noted very soon after it’s written down–even immediately. It is very helpful to be able to look back over your decision logs and learn from them, but if your concerns about privacy would prevent you from doing it otherwise, it is true that just writing things down does that most important job of focusing your attention.

Plan to keep your log on days when making notes repeatedly throughout the day will be doable for you.

To d-log, start each day with a fresh file or piece of paper and put the date at the top. Jot down the time whenever you write something down after not having any entries for a while. This helps put things in a time framework, so that you can look back and notice how something you felt at 10:00 in the morning did or didn’t influence something you did at 2:00 in the afternoon.

No one else has to see your d-logs, although if you have someone you feel you can tell anything to and want their help, it could be enlightening to share. You might want to explain what you’re doing to various other people if you’ll be needing to do it around them a lot, but in some cases such an explanation may result in someone asking to see what you’re writing, and since your d-log is meant to be completely candid, this could be a problem.

Over even a relatively short time–days, or weeks–d-logging can help build practices of mindfulness and of thinking through decisions that we’re used to making automatically, acting on habits we may or may not like. The importance of understanding our own thoughts and feelings and how they bear on their decisions is hard to overstate.

If d-logging is highly impractical for you, fortunately there are other routes–though they may be longer or more difficult–to developing mindfulness, especially doing mindfulness meditation.

D-logging will take a certain amount of attention and commitment, but it’s not hard. One beautiful thing about d-logging that’s not true of many approaches to developing willpower is that you can use it to improve willpower in any number of areas at once. Normally if you want to work on self-motivation, it’s important to focus on one specific area, since lack of focus tends to make motivation fall apart. D-logging is different because you’re not concentrating on promoting a particular goal, but only on understanding yourself and your thinking better. Yet this kind of thinking tends to have immediate, noticeable results on achieving goals.

Don’t be too concerned if you start d-logging on a particular day and don’t do a good job of following through. Any of this practice you do, even if it’s not for a full day, helps, and it’s always possible to try and do better the next day.

While d-logging is particularly powerful in terms of developing willpower, there are also other kinds of logging and writing that can bolster motivation, and I’ll cover some of these in future posts.

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How To Handle Multiple Priorities

by: Luc Reid

A friend posed this question:

“What do you do when you have two conflicting things to get done? For example, for me it’s writing vs. studying. Both take the same amount of focus, time and activity level. One is more pleasurable, and one is more necessary. "

“So when I have a block of time in which I could EITHER write or study……….I end up surfing the web for hours. In that web-surfing loop where you don’t really look at anything, just go to the same sites over and over to see if they’ve been updated since three minutes ago. To be honest, it makes me feel like that story in I, Robot: Runaround. I experience this practically every time I schedule writing-and-studying time for myself.”

It’s a good question, and one I definitely identify with in my own experience. When I have more than one important thing to do, all of the important tasks are weighing on me at once. If I undertake one of them without making special effort to handle this problem, the fact that I’m not doing the others will distract and upset me. For me, this gets worse when there are more things to do, because then it’s hard to even identify all of the things that need doing, and the other priorities will plague me without my even being fully aware of what they are.

One of the reasons we often turn to something completely self-indulgent in these cases is that we hope it will take our mind off all of our other concerns. For example, what if I have the option of writing or studying or watching a good movie? If I do the writing, the fact that I have studying to do might continue to bother me. If I do the studying, the ignored writing might be the pain in my neck. But if I watch the movie and like it, I might be so swept up in the story that I don’t think about either writing or studying–so that the only solution that gives me any relief is the only one that in the long term doesn’t help me at all.

Fortunately, there is a solution to this. Actually, there might be a bunch of solutions to this, but there’s one solution that I know (and that I’ve recently been using more and more). It has three parts: listing, prioritizing, and resigning.

Listing: If you have a lot of things to do, it helps to list them out. If a lot of things are bothering or distracting you, list them all–but if there are only a couple or a few major issues to tackle, don’t bother with all of the lower-priority ones, and instead just list that couple or those few.

In this way the part of your brain that has been devoted to keeping track of them all can rest, because you now have them all on paper and aren’t in danger of forgetting. Listing also allows you to start

Prioritizing: Looking at your list, you decide what one or two or ten things are really the most important for you to tackle right away. Some might call for a quick action but not be of desperate importance (for instance, calling your friend back and confirming that you’ll be at a party tomorrow), but most of your top items should be chosen for importance, whether or not they would need to be done immediately. Try to avoid prioritizing things that are in your face but that don’t matter much in the scheme of things. For instance, you might have noticed for the hundredth time today that you have a little trouble finding any CD in your CD collection, and it may occur to you to organize your CDs. This idea could be very much on your mind, yet not really at all important in the scheme of things. This shouldn’t “float to the top” unless you really have nothing more important to do (in which case your life must be far, far more peaceful than mine!)

Keep in mind that it’s not remotely necessary to prioritize all your tasks: just figure out which are the top ones, and then of those, make sure at least the top few are in priority order. If two things are exactly as important, choose whichever one you’re more enthusiastic about. If a task is very large, try to break it up into sub-tasks and then prioritize those. For instance, if you have three years worth of personal papers to file, break the list item “File all those papers” down and start with a task “Spend 15 minutes starting in on filing.” You can take the rest and make it a task, “Continue with filing,” which can spawn other tasks in future.

I know I’m getting into organizational techniques instead of obvious motivation techniques here, but among the elements of motivation are knowledge of what you need to motivate yourself to do and goal-setting. The listing step covers the knowledge, and this step covers goal-setting. When you’re done with prioritization, you should have a sub-list of Important Things and single thing at the top of that list. This now allows you to begin

Resigning yourself to the idea that you can only under normal circumstances do one thing at a time. (Note: a later post of mine goes into more detail about resigning ourselves to making good choices.) If you decide to study, for instance, your brain may pipe up “But … I have to do some writing!” This is a broken idea, a lie that you’re telling yourself. In fact, you don’t have to do some writing right then. Writing will come later, and as good as it might be to get some done now, you can’t write at the same time as you’re studying, and for the moment you’ve chosen to study. If you’ve broken up your large studying task into chunks, then perhaps what you have decided to do is study one particular chapter, or study for one hour. And you know that when that hour or chapter is over, if you are still on discretionary time, you’ll be able to switch over to writing then. Get at peace with the idea that nothing is going to get done right away except your top priority. When you catch yourself manufacturing broken ideas, repair them one by one until you feel calm and ready to begin. It’s not an easy thing, but once done, the need to do anything other than what you’ve chosen to do goes away, and you can get to work without distraction.

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Some Steps for Getting into a State of Flow

by: Luc Reid

In a recent comment to my post Flow: What It Feels Like to Be Perfectly Motivated, Kaizan said, “I think the concept of flow as Csikszentmihalyi describes it is fantastic, but I didn’t really follow him as to how I was meant to apply it to my life.” It’s a good point: psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has researched and depicted flow beautifully, but actually finding flow takes some work. Here, based on what I know about flow so far and on my own flow experiences, is a starter “how to” list for getting into flow.

First, not every activity should be done in flow. Flow requires being able to concentrate on one particular task or related group of tasks for a substantial period of time without having to switch gears. This can happen alone or with other people, but if anyone or anything is going to need to pull your attention away from the task–ringing phones, kids needing help with homework, pets needing to be let out–it will tend to disrupt flow. That doesn’t mean a person can’t have a phone, kids, or pets, just that whenever there are potential distractions, getting into flow means making sure as well as you can that distractions are taken care of: the kids have someone else to go to, the dog has already been out, and there are no telephone calls you’ll need to take, for instance.

Flow also requires that you know what you’re doing. It’s a balance between control and challenge: if you’re just barely getting a grip on a new skill, you won’t have the control you need. That doesn’t mean you can’t get into a flow state when learning or practicing, but the ways I know of to do that are either 1) mastering the basics first, or 2) getting into flow about learning, not about the activity itself. For instance, if you’re just starting out with guitar, you could conceivably get into flow in terms of learning chord patterns if you have good learning skills, but you wouldn’t be able to immediately get into flow with actually playing the guitar.

Experiencing flow also means needing to carefully set clear goals that provide a challenge. Even thoroughly washing dishes before a deadline, believe it or not, works as one of these kinds of goals: washing dishes well but quickly is a challenge, and the ticking clock makes your goal clear and also provides another essential element:

Feedback. You need to be able to know how you’re doing as you proceed. This may be as simple as dishes washed, whether or not you’re playing the music as written, or seeing the wall you’re framing fit perfectly into the space allotted for it. This feedback needs to be immediate, something you’re getting in real time. Any activity that can’t provide that in-the-moment feeling of “Wow, this is going great!” probably can’t be done in flow.

That’s it. Surprisingly, the task being doesn’t have to be something you would usually consider fun. You don’t have to be a world-class expert at it, and you don’t necessarily need complete peace and quiet. Flow can be achieved filing papers, making a sales presentation, playing “Fur Elise” on the piano, sketching, vacuuming, teaching, brainstorming, organizing … or anything else that meets the following simple requirements: you are able to focus on it; you have a clear goal; it’s challenging yet within your abilities; you’ve already learned the basics; and you can see how you’re doing as you go.

So not everything can be done in flow–but then, not everything should be: sometimes being more responsive, relaxed, mindful, open, or social is called for instead. But as an element of a healthy lifestyle, flow provides an unmatched opportunity to operate at the our highest level while enjoying every minute.

In future posts, I’ll be following up with some descriptions of my own flow experiences, some information about applying flow to different kinds of activities, and possibly an interview or two about other people’s flow experiences.

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Have Fun Learning Creativity

by: Malkeet Singh

You have some great ideas. You toss them around in your mind. You tell friends about them. They go nowhere. Why? They go nowhere because of what your friends said or because you have the misconception that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. And, you, of course, couldn't be one of that select group. That is not true at all.

Anyone who has creative genius will tell you that creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be developed in order to perform at top efficiency. If you don't learn how to develop creative thinking, this skill, like a muscle will become withered and useless to you when you most need it. On the other hand, keep working at it and this skill will soon be ready for action whenever you need it.

So how do you develop your own personal style of creative thinking?

Well, the first thing is to realize your brain has a greater capacity and speed than the world's biggest and fastest super computer. That's right! Even the world's biggest and fastest super computer cannot store as much information or handle it faster than your brain. You are not limited like a super computer because your brain is not limited and that's where creativity comes from - your brain. It doesn't come from thin air, it comes from within you and you already have the tools needed to exercise it.

So, the first thing is to begin absorbing as much information as you can every day. Grab as much knowledge and learning as you can find. Read, watch, and listen to everything available -- good and bad. Don't judge anything at this point of development because it's not the content that is important, only the process of absorption. Keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities that each piece of information presents. The more you know, the more you'll want to know, and the more your brain will be exercised. Prepare to be amazed at little facts that add a bit of color to your conversations with people. They will begin to see you in a new light.

Next, focus on a creative activity every day. This is as simple as doodling. Doodling is a creative activity. Don't let anything hinder you. Just doodle away, mindlessly. You will unleash a little bit of creative thinking and it will be encouraging to see something you created. In addition to doodling, practice drawing something specific for a couple of minutes each day. You might unleash the artist in you.

Or, grab a camera and start snapping photos of anything and everything. Don't try to be "artsy,” just snap away! You might find you have a knack for photography.

Keep a journal and make a point to write in it at the end of each day. Describe your experiences using words that capture your five senses. What did it smell like, taste like, feel like - you get the idea? You may discover a writer lurking in your brain.

In a short time you'll have built yourself a tiny portfolio or doodles, art, photographs and writings and you'll be amazed at the growth of your creativity. You might actually enjoy those exercises so much that they will become a part of you and you'll be addicted to them.

You've heard it said - Think out of the box. Well, not just yet. Be aware of constraints or blocks to your creative process. Constraints are actually a good thing. It's your brain telling you it needs more knowledge about that which you are struggling. Constraints are the brain's mechanisms to force discipline upon you. Discipline forces you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations are too. There must be balance.

Oscar winner, Anthony Hopkins, would just get in his car and drive across country alone with no destination in particular. It helped him experience different people in different parts of the country, away from the unreality of Hollywood. These little trips helped him to become a better actor.

Try something new every day and let your experiences broaden your view of the world and people around you. Explore a new neighborhood in your town. Spend an afternoon in a museum to which you've never been before. Chat up someone in the checkout line at the store. You need to open up to the people around you. You need to step out of your comfort zone more and more each day. This will heighten your sense of adventure and your zest for life.

Think about it. When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone? When you stay in your comfort zone, you miss out on a whole lot of experiences that could add to your growth - emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually.

I would love to try bungee jumping and skydiving but I'm a coward when it comes to risking life and limb. If you have the courage, go for it! At the very least, you will have plenty of exciting stories to share, enabling you to develop your storytelling skills, making you the life of any gathering. People will love to hear you tell about doing the things they only dream of doing.

This next thing will seem nutty. It is. You need to embrace insanity. I'm not talking about the kind that will land you in a rubber room. As John Russell once said, "Sanity calms, but madness (insanity) is more interesting."

History shows that nearly every creative thinker was once deemed insane by "normal" people. Lucky for us, the critics couldn't stop the creative geniuses from changing the world. Being "normal" confines’ people to think - normally, that is, to think within limits society has deemed to be normal. Creativity is essentially ignoring those limits, within the Law, of course. Your creativity may seem bizarre and downright strange to the "normals.” Ignore them and seek out others who also ignore the "normals" of this world. They will know how to help you to cultivate your new sense of creativity.

Now, a word of caution as you step out in your search for creativity. Don't strive to develop a creative "personality." There is a difference between a creative personality and creative thinking. Examples of wacky creative personalities would be George Washington, who often rode into battle naked, or James Joyce, who wrote "Dubliners" with beetle juice because he had an intense fear of ink, or Albert Einstein, who thought his cat was a spy sent by his rival. They were all great men, for sure, but a little wacky at times because they lost touch with reality.

It's important that your creativity doesn't blind you to the real world. Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds! (Look familiar?)

Starting today, begin thinking beyond your "limits." Follow these steps and you'll soon be living a life full of interesting and exciting adventures. Your new level creative thinking will bring about a new zest for living life.

Who knows, your idea might be the next great idea to change the world.

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Everything You Want to Know About Asking for Help but Were Afraid to Ask

by: Karen Rowinsky

What do these women have in common?

• A young mother overwhelmed with caring for both a newborn and a two year old

• A college student who realizes she is not as passionate about her major as she thought

• A manager who feels she is not connecting with those who report to her

• A daughter trying to help her aging parents who live in another state

• A new widow whose husband handled the finances in the family

As you may have guessed, they all could use some kind of assistance. Yet, how many of these women will ask for it? Help can come in many forms. The young mom could ask a friend to watch the kids for a few hours so that she could take a nap. The college student could seek the advice of a favorite professor. The manager could ask a colleague that she respects, to be her mentor. The daughter could attend a local family-caregiver support group for ideas on how to care for her parents’ needs at a distance. The newly widowed woman could ask a trusted friend to advise her on the basics of family finance and act as a sounding board for any decisions that need to be made.

Why is it so hard to ask for what we need? I have learned over the years that there are times when even the most capable among us must ask for help. At times when I needed help but didn’t ask, I wondered whether it was because I'm a woman, a first-born, or just didn't want to impose that I found it extremely difficult to turn to others for even the simplest of aid. When I examined my reluctance to request help from others, such as my friends and relatives, I came up with some heartfelt but often ridiculous reasons:

• I didn't want to appear weak, disorganized, or incapable.

• Everyone has his or her own challenges and is too busy to deal with mine.

• Asking for help would make me feel dependent.

• I didn't want to be a bother.

• It would be easier just to do things myself.

What about you? Do you find it easy or hard to turn to people who care about you and ask for their assistance when you need it? Asking for help is a skill. Many of us don't possess it. For most of us it is one we could improve upon. It would make our life so much better if we didn't hesitate to ask for help when we needed it.

Recently when a friend and I were talking about people's reluctance to ask for help, it occurred to me that we are actually doing those who care about us a favor by coming to them for assistance. You give a gift when you ask for help. The people you ask feel important, useful, and, in many cases, honored that you approached them.

Think about the last time someone asked you for help. Did you find yourself making a judgment about him or her? Probably not. Didn't your mind start clicking to what you could do? If you couldn't help, you may have even felt guilty that you didn't do your part to help your friend. How many times, when you discovered that a family member had a hardship or challenge, have you said, "Why didn’t you ask for my help?"

There may be some things that you would rather pay a stranger to do than ask friends to do. Nevertheless many other favors will give meaning to the words family and friend. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, need advice, or a shoulder to lean on, rather than hesitate, push yourself to ask for what you need. You will not only be helping yourself but also giving the person you asked a chance to feel better too!

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Straight From The Horse's Mouth

by: Karen Schachter

Who knew how much a horse could teach a person? As a long-time dog owner and animal lover, I was always aware of the powerful healing potential animals can have. I always knew instinctively - and now I know it to be true based on my knowledge of the brain - that mammals have an ability to feel, connect with and care for others.

What I didn't realize was how much a horse could teach me about myself - and in such a short time!

After spending half a day today at Riding Far Farm with my friend and colleague, Paul Haefner and his partner, Elizabeth Siegert, I am awed by the incredible capacity a horse has to reflect back to me my own "stuff" - fears, limiting beliefs, ways of relating to others, and strengths. Horses are incredibly intuitive and therefore provide a non-judgmental mirror; and in that mirror, I was able to see patterns (some effective and some not so effective) that I use in my life.

In the first "exercise" (all of the exercises are done on the ground; no riding involved), we were instructed to introduce ourselves to each of the three horses in the ring. The first one was easy - I stretched my hand forward, used my high-pitched "it's okay sweetie" voice and let the horse come to me. We bonded. The second horse was pretty much the same thing. (Paul wondered if this is how I usually get people to respond to me - sweetly rather than more assertively...hmmm, good question).

But the third - ah, not so easy. I saw that big horse with one missing eye who showed no interest whatsoever in me, who kept eating his grass when I used my tried-and-true techniques, and I was stuck. I felt the fear ("he's dangerous") rise up in me and after a minute or two of "trying," I backed off.

In the second exercise, we were asked to work as a team to put a harness around one of the horses. As the "leader" of my team, I, curiously, chose the "dangerous" horse. And each time we approached, he walked away, over to another patch of grass to continue his lunch. Again and again and again. I wanted to give up. (Same thing as earlier - who wants to be rejected over and over??!). I was "sure" that this horse would NEVER allow us to harness him. And, I feared, if we kept trying, he would certainly attack us.

Luckily, I recognized this fear as irrational. I recognized a pattern in myself of wanting to "give up" when the going gets too tough; when I am faced with something I decide is "too scary"; or when I'm afraid I'll fail (or be rejected somehow). Having that awareness allowed me to say to my team, "let's approach him with confidence. No more beating around the bush; no more giving him the message that we're ambivalent and unsure of ourselves. Let's let him know we mean business here!"

And guess what? On that turn, the horse responded. He let us put the harness on him and he even stood there for a while with us once it was on.

A huge lesson for me: My reaction to this horse represented some of my own reactions in life. When faced with opportunities or goals, it's so important that I get clear about what I want and act with intention and purpose. When my thoughts and actions are in alignment, I am much more likely to achieve my goals and move toward my dreams.

So often, many of us go about life not acting in "alignment." We may say we "really" want something (to lose weight, have a more fulfilling career, or spend more quality time with our kids), yet we don't act with intention and with purpose. We don't commit to it and we don't go for it full-on. We go for it in a wishy-washy, maybe 'this-will-happen-if-I'm-lucky sort of way. Our actions don't reflect what we say we want. Our minds - with our fears, our ambivalence or our mental blocks - "trick" us into thinking that we can't do it, or stop us from going for it for some reason.

I'm so grateful to this beautiful, one-eyed horse for teaching me - not just in my cognitive awareness but with a "body" experience - such an important lesson that will continue to instruct me as I move forward toward my hopes and dreams.

Copyright (c) 2009 Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds

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