Thursday, January 29, 2009

Can You Hear My Strength

. Thursday, January 29, 2009

by: kathryn S Carrington

Jennifer Stanton is a very charming and bright eyed young African-American woman who has defeated all of the odds, by overcoming a disability that labeled her a mild-retardation, with a hearing lost in one ear, who was diagnosed, at a very young age, as suffering from lack of communication and comprehension skills. Today she is a teacher assistant- at a non-public high school called The Arrow Project Center located in Baltimore, Maryland. She holds two under-graduate degrees from Kean University located in Union New Jersey: one in elementary education and another in psychology.

I am, neither surprised nor amazed, when she tells me that she is currently attending John Hopkins University in Baltimore, working on a Master’s in Mild and Moderate Disability in Elementary Education. It is obvious that this young woman has had the fortitude to surpass many challenges. There is no doubt that she will prevail and arrive at her destination, prepared to do the many great things that she so desires.

Jennifer Stanton, the youngest of four children - one being her identical twin sister- was born on May 28, 1983 in Tinton Falls, New Jersey. Her parents divorced when she was only five. Her mother remarried when she was thirteen. She was raised by her step-father Alfred Brown, a Director for AT&T who encouraged her to always do her best and her mother Geraldine Stanton-Brown, an office clerk. My mother is a very strong woman, she smiles, and I believe that is where my strength and perseverance comes from. She is saddened-a little-when she tells me that she was a loner, while growing up, devoting most of her attention to sports and writing. It was difficult making friends because I couldn’t hear and had to fake it, she says. By learning to read lips and focusing more on the individual’s body language, I was able to communicate just as well as anyone else. I was determined to stay in school with my sister. The desire to want to stay in the public school system and be educated along side her twin sister Jacelyn, who is also a graduate of Kean University with an undergraduate degree in Marketing, encouraged her to do her best. To stay in the main stream of things was a challenge but something that she wanted to do, says Jennifer, to prove to myself and everyone else that I could succeed without any special needs aside from the classification classes that were required by the administration.

Suddenly she takes a deep breath and her body is stiff. As I watch her inhale, showing glimpses of a young woman, who is finally comfortable with herself, she begins to tell me that there were three stages of hurdles that she was determined to over come- as she remembers the classifications that were strapped to her, much like a saddle to a horse, at an early age. She spoke, with conviction, of classified classes from kindergarten through tenth grade, of which she attended alone, although most of her other classes were attended with her twin, at her parent’s, as well as, school advisor’s discretions. Her mother had wanted she and her sister to remain together as much as possible. Secondly, living at home among family and friends was more difficult than anything else because she often thought of how she would show others-who sometimes made her feel like she was being watched like sand through an hour glass- that she could make it on her own, with her a disability. Lastly, to prove to those individuals that was a part of a belligerent, educational system, of which she lacked confidence, because its practices were often belittling and disparaging. My courage and strength, she admits, came from family.

When asked about other jobs held or other interests, she comes alive-before me- with excitement, showing signs of a vivacious young woman, eager to make change. Her eyes are suddenly brighter and browner than ever. She studies the ceiling-of a very artsy but modern, yet contemporary apartment that –no doubt- reflects both she and her sister’s individual styles. There is the presence-now-of an extremely serious and confidant woman with a smile- exposing a set of evenly white teeth. Her incredible strength and solidarity is apparent. Her excitement and pride rises as she proceeds to tell me of the many jobs and interests held from the age of fifteen through eighteen. There was a time, she admits, that I could not find myself or interests, but those days are behind me now. She lifts her head, just a little and smiles as if she can feel the power within herself as she remembers the time when she was a councilor for the Y.M.C.A.’s Western Maryland Branch located in Catonsville (Young Men’s Christian Association), which is an ecumenical organization offering programming based on Christian values. She is candid when she continues to tell me that - The Y.M.C.A.’s mission often states: To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build a healthy spirit, mind, and body, for all. Jennifer also worked summer programs for children whose parents were wounded and killed during 911. She tells me about the time she tutored all age groups for math and reading comprehension. She was Basketball Coach at A.A.U. (Amateur Athletic Union), Vice President for a dance group for a student organization called the P.A.S.U. (Pan-African Student Union). She was also an assistant for Basketball Clinic for adolescent boys- not to mention- a residence assistant for housing at Kean University and director of W.M.C.A., Maryland Branch.

Jennifer Stanton is currently a teacher assistant at a non-public high school( The Arrow Project Center in Baltimore) working on an assignment called Error Project, which is a special project for children that are behavioral emotional disturbed adolescence. She teaches math and also co-teaches therapy sessions.

Jennifer feels that her most important contribution to society is being able to provide the necessary skills to each individual child, with physical and mentally challenging difficulties. She wants them to become successful in society, without having to face the many challenges and road blocks that she encountered. There is a much better way and I am going to find a means of bringing that better way to light. Now, twenty four, she says that by the time she is thirty, she plans to open a facility for minorities that will include many resources and services for children and their parents. She is adamant when she says that she will incorporate a sports program, because of her love for sports. She will also implement methods of teaching health services.

I am fully aware that the interview has come to an end, once I see that Jennifer has folded her pampered and well manicured hands, neatly together, resting in her lap. She smiles, while her arched eyebrows are lifted. “Is there anything else that you’d like to add?” I ask. “No,” she smiles, “I think that I’ve told you everything.”

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Become A Smashing Success Instantly With Integrity Using This One Secret

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by: Phil Barnao

What is Success?

Ask that to 10 people and you'll probably get 10 different answers. Everyone's opinion of success seems to differ.

We must define it because in order to reach success you must first have an understanding of what it is. You'll never get somewhere you don't first see in your mind.

It's probably easier to explain success by first stating what it is not.

It is not a "destination", nor is it a fancy car, jewelry, a giant house or any other type of status (although there is nothing wrong with those things). It's not a certain level of money or a specific job or business.

Success has nothing to do with any of this!

Success is measured by the individual. Nobody can tell you that you are or are not successful because it's different for each of us.

I came across the best definition of success I've ever heard by someone very qualified to give it. With a wall of college basketball records here is coach Wooden's definition of success...

"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." ~ John Wooden

Coach Wooden believed that it was impossible to give 100% effort all the time so he used "knowing you did your best". What's important with this is that it leaves room for ERROR.

Too many people get discouraged if they make mistakes and I'm here to tell you that you WILL make mistakes and you will fall, but what's important is that you GET BACK UP. The only time you lose the fight is if you stay down.

I also believe part of success is finding your passion and "purpose" in life and pursuing it with heart.

>From all this I've come up with my own definition of success…

"Success is peace of mind directly resulting from the self-satisfaction of uncovering your purpose in life and knowing you did your best to become the best you're capable of and then using it to bless others." ~ Fired Up Phil's revised definition of success

Success has everything to do with personal development. How much can you learn and grow and build character so you can be a better husband, wife, father, mother, friend, colleague or business person.

.So you can offer a better product or service and be more valuable to others, changing lives in the marketplace and all around you.

The more that you grow the more you will posses inside to offer others and the better relationships you'll have. This will lead to more happiness and fulfillment since we were created to fellowship with others.

The minute you understand that success is a continual process that never ends and you commit yourself to it, you become successful at that moment.

As far as the car, house, money and all the other things, well those are material goals and everyone has different goals. Not everyone wants to own three Mercedes and a 10,000 sq ft house. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I believe wealth and prosperity are spiritual attributes that everyone should shoot for, but you can be successful without money.

Mother Teresa for example did not drive a Mercedes and yet she was a smashing success in her own right and lifetime.

Goals and desires are different for all people and have nothing to do with success.

You can decide right now that you ARE successful. No other person has any right or validity in telling you otherwise. You are a miracle from birth and have been designed for greatness. As the saying goes "God doesn't make junk".

Don't allow your mind (low self esteem) to tell you otherwise. Don't judge yourself harshly and be your own worst enemy. And especially don't compare what you have to others allowing that to determine yourself worth and value.

YOU determine yourself worth, not others! You are a success…a smashing success at that, the moment you DECIDE you are.

"Success is more about who you are, than what you accomplish"

If you insist on having a benchmark, use this...

"Success is giving your best in growing to reach your God given potential and using it to benefit and contribute to others."

If you're doing that, you ARE successful and it's just a matter of getting focused on what you would like to accomplish in your life and steering in that direction. Find your passion and pursue it.

If you know that you would rather be doing something different in life and you're not pursuing it that is what I call "selling out" on your heart.

I'm not saying you have to jeopardize your family and up and quit your current job or business, but I am saying you should be working on your dreams and passions at least on a part time basis so that you can eventually grab a hold of it and take it to the highest level you can, since that is what you truly dream of.

Wouldn't it be awesome to earn lots of income doing something you're passionate about and truly enjoy instead of from a job you don't really care for? Some people HATE what they do.

To them and maybe to you, making money doing what you love almost sounds too good to be true? Yet, that's the way it's supposed to be. This is called "turning your avocation into your vocation".

When you do this life becomes easy and enjoyable because you begin to utilize your God given talents and abilities instead of just doing what you're used to. This is also when more money usually starts to flow into your life as well.

One of the best ways to "grow" is to choose to earn a LOT of money because of the character it builds in the process. To accomplish this will force you to uncover and develop your gifts.

Income rarely exceeds personal development ~ Jim Rohn

As this happens you will be a good steward with the money because of the character you've built and you will change other people's lives because of who you are.

The world needs more good hearted people who are good stewards and have BIG hearts AND BIG bank accounts to be used for good.

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Enhance Happiness and Health by Cultivating Gratitude: Interview with Robert Emmons

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by: Alvaro Fernandez

Today we interview Prof. Robert Emmons, Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and Editor-In-Chief of the Journal of Positive Psychology. He has just published Thanks: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, a book that provides a research-based synthesis of the topic as well as practical suggestions.

Alvaro Fernandez (AF): Welcome. Prof. Emmons, could you please provide us an overview of the Positive Psychology field so we understand the context for your research?

Robert Emmons (RE): Sure. Martin Seligman and colleagues launched what was called "positive psychology" in the late 90s as an antidote to the traditional nearly exclusive emphasis of "negative psychology" focused on fixing problems like trauma, addiction, and stress. We want to balance our focus and be able to help everyone, including high-functioning individuals. A number of researchers were investigating the field since the late 80s, but Seligman provided a new umbrella, a new category, with credibility, organized networks and funding opportunities for the whole field.

AF: And where does your own research fit into this overall picture?

RE: I have been researching gratitude for almost 10 years. Gratitude is a positive emotion that has traditionally been the realm of humanists and philosophers, and only recently the subject of a more scientific approach. We study gratitude not as a merely academic discipline, but as a practical framework to better functioning in life by taking control of happiness levels and practicing the skill of emotional self-regulation.

AF: What are the 3 key messages that you would like readers to take away from your book?

RE: First, the practice of gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%. Second, this is not hard to achieve - a few hours writing a gratitude journal over 3 weeks can create an effect that lasts 6 months if not more. Third, that cultivating gratitude brings other health effects, such as longer and better quality sleep time.

AF: What are some ways to practice gratitude, and what benefits could we expect? Please refer to your 2003 paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, where I found fascinating quotes such as that "The ability to notice, appreciate, and savior the elements of one's life has been viewed as a crucial element of well-being."

RE: The most common method we use in our research is to ask people to keep a "Gratitude Journal" where you write something you feel grateful for. Doing so 4 times a week, for as little as 3 weeks, is often enough to create a meaningful difference in one's level of happiness. Another exercise is to write a "Gratitude Letter" to a person who has exerted a positive influence on one's life but whom we have not properly thanked in the past, and then to meet that person and read the letter to them face to face.

The benefits seem to be very similar using both methods in terms of enhanced happiness, health and wellbeing. Most of the outcomes are self-reported, but there is an increasing emphasis on measuring objective data such as cortisol and stress levels, heart rate variability, and even brain activation patterns. The work of Richard Davidson is exemplary in that respect, showing how mindfulness practice can rewire some activation patterns in the frontal lobes.

Now, let me give an overview of the paper you mention, titled Counting Blessings versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. The paper includes 3 separate studies, so I will just be able to provide a quick glimpse. More than a hundred adults were all asked to keep a journal, and were randomly assigned to 3 different groups. Group A had to write about things they felt grateful about. Group B about things they found annoying, irritating. Group C about things that had had a major impact on them. 2 out of the 3 different experiments were relatively intense and short term (keeping a daily journal for 2-3 weeks), while one required a weekly entry during 10 weeks.

Across the 3 different studies we found that people in the gratitude group generally evidenced higher-levels of well-being than those in the comparison conditions, especially when compared to Group B (the one journaling about hassles), but also compared to the "neutral" group.

In the longer study, which ran for 10 weeks, we also saw a positive effect on hours of sleep and on time spent exercising, on more optimistic expectations for the coming week, and fewer reported physical symptoms, such as pain. Additionally, we observed an increase in reported connectedness to other people and in likelihood of helping another person deal with a personal problem.

AF: We could then say that we can train ourselves to develop a more grateful attitude and optimistic outlook in life, resulting in well-being and health improvements, and even in becoming better-not just happier- citizens. And probably one can expect few negative side effects from keeping a gratitude journal. What do you think prevents more people from benefiting from these research findings?

RE: Great question, I reflect often on that. My sense is that some people feel uncomfortable talking about these topics, since they may sound too spiritual, or religious. Others simply don't want to feel obligated to the person who helped them, and never come to realize the boost in energy, enthusiasm, and social benefits that come from a more grateful, connected life.

AF: You talk about gratitude. Other psychologists focus on cognitive therapy, or forgiveness. How can we know which of these techniques may be helpful for us?

RE: The key is to reflect on one's goal and current situation. For example, the practice of forgiveness can be most appropriate for people who have high levels of anger and resentment. Cognitive therapy has been shown to be very effective against depression. In a sense both groups are trying to eliminate the negative. Gratitude is different in that it is better suited for highly functioning individuals who simply want to feel better - enhancing the positive.

Prof. Emmons, thank you for your time, and research.

You are welcome.

Copyright (c) 2007 SharpBrains

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Live Today As If It’s Tomorrow

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by: Karen Van Cleve

“A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!” Og Mandino

How do you begin your day? Do you wake up to the amazing new possibilities that await you? Or do you have your own version of “Groundhog Day,” where each day is a tired replay of the day before?

Our brains love to work on routine. Habit and repetition do a couple of things for us. First, they allow us to be comfortable; we love the certainty of knowing what to expect and being successful at doing a task. The other thing that repetition does for us is to use less mental capacity to do the task at hand. Remember the first time you drove a car or rode a bike? It took every ounce of concentration and ability you had, just to get by and hopefully not crash! Over time, as your brain and body became familiar with the task, it took less effort and so you could relax, think about other things, and still be “successful.” The thought of crashing doesn’t even enter your mind, now that you’ve become good at the task. Psychologists estimate that 80% to 90% of our daily behavior is based on habit. What we think, what we do, and what we observe today is based on what we’ve thought, done, and observed in the past.

Although habit and repetition help us function in our busy, complex lives, they also limit us. Because it’s so easy to do the same things over and over, the natural tendency is for inertia. This is an actual law of physics: the “tendency of a body to resist acceleration.” Inertia is also resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change. Does that sound like you in the morning?! When you think about creating a change in your life, do you tell yourself that it isn’t possible to create the change you want? Or that it would just be too “hard” to make changes? And if you do think those things, how long have you been thinking them? Could those thoughts and feelings to resist change are just part of your habitual pattern? Are those thoughts part of how you continue to live today as if it were yesterday?

The good news is that it doesn’t take much at all to begin to change your pattern of living today as if it were yesterday. Yes, it won’t happen overnight. But it also won’t be as “hard” as you think. There are three key steps to living today as if it is tomorrow.

First, identify some specific difference you’d like to create between yesterday and tomorrow. For example, if you’d like to be more healthy in the future, identify the differences between the thoughts and behaviors, even the smallest differences, between your past patterns and the ones that would support being more healthy. Something as simple as shifting your identity from a “procrastinator” to “a healthy, fit person” can make a difference. Make a list of those differences. What would be different about how you think? What would be different about how you act? What would be different about what you observe? What would be different about how you feel? Are there a few of these that would be pretty easy to do? Highlight those on your list.

Once the list is made, the second step is to create intentional shifts in thinking, behaving, observing, and feeling. This is where you break the pattern of inertia, and create a new cycle of habit and routine. When you start breaking the pattern with simple, easy changes, the “resistance” of inertia isn’t so great. For example, in our being “healthy” example, a pattern shift of changing your identity and making two new choices a day can be very simple. Yet that simple change begins to teach your mind and body to adapt to more change. Returning to our metaphor of driving a car, it’s easy to steer the car gently to the right or left, even when traveling at high speed. However, if you’re traveling down the road and suddenly try to reverse or make a U turn, you’re in for trouble. When you consistently but gently steer a particular direction you will ultimately be going in a different direction without risking a crash. The same is true of the process of living today as if it’s tomorrow.

The last step is to condition these changes with repetition until they become the new habit, which then sets you up to handle another set of changes. Conditioning requires repetition and consistency. We know that children and pets learn new behaviors by constant and consistent reminders of old behaviors to eliminate, as well as the new desired behaviors. We all learn that way. When you fall into your old patterns, gently remind yourself of the commitment you’ve made to the new patterns. Even more importantly, when you make the new desired changes in your patterns, celebrate your achievement! Give yourself positive, enthusiastic reinforcement because that is what will ultimately help you sustain the change. To help condition the new patterns, post notes around your house and office as reminders, put new behaviors in your calendar so you remember to take action, find an accountability partner, repeat your new patterns and commitment to yourself every day, do anything and everything that creates an environment to encourage and support your changes. Every day that you take some action to live today as if it’s tomorrow, brings that vision of tomorrow closer.

An example of how this made a difference in my life was when I completed an exercise called “My Ideal Day.” For this exercise, I described how my life would be if I were living my ideal day. There were huge differences between how I was living my life at the time, and how my ideal day would be. However, I made incremental changes as I was able, and realized approximately one year later that I was living my ideal day! It hadn’t happened with any one choice or action; rather it was the culmination of many smaller choices and actions. I would never have reached that ideal day if I had continued to live each day as if it were yesterday. By making the choice to live each day as if it was tomorrow (my ideal day), I very quickly created the future I wanted.

Make a choice about how you want to live. Will you live today as if it were yesterday, so you can expect the same results? Or will you make a choice to live today as if it is tomorrow, and create new results in your life? Remember that living today as if it’s tomorrow doesn’t have to be hard.

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The Pursuit of Happiness

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by: Jordan Cheng

Yesterday I happened to spot “The Pursuit of Happyness” at the CD shop, and immediately rented it home to watch over the weekend.

I had wanted to watch this movie, after being inspired by the Oprah Winfred Show sometime ago, which features the real person Chris Gardner (the self-made millionaire whom the story is based on) together with the actor Will Smith and his son who acted Chris and his son.

The Pursuit of Happyness was an Academy Award-nominated drama film for 2006. It is based on the true story of self-made millionaire Chris Gardner. Chris Gardner was a struggling salesman while his wife toiled in double shifts to support the family including their young son, Christopher. In the face of this difficult life, Chris has a strong conviction to try for a stockbroker internship where one in twenty has a chance of a lucrative full time career. Even when his wife leaves him because of him making this choice, Chris clings to this dream with his son despite all the odds becoming more daunting by the day. Together, father and son struggle through homelessness, jail time, tax seizure and despair in a quest that eventually make Gardner a respected millionaire.

The story is a celebration of hope and determination. Chris Gardner, as portrayed by Will Smith, displayed the courage of a big man under circumstances of poverty and humiliation. It is an inspiring story for anyone who needs some awakening and motivation in the rut of a seemingly comfortable life.

Beyond the rag-to-rich story of a self-made millionaire, the story prompted a deeper question: What is happiness?

In The Pursuit of Happyness, the story focused on the difficult times that Chris Gardner has gone through to achieve his dream. Nothing was featured about the lifestyle he enjoys after becoming rich. The real meaning of happiness isn’t about riches. It is about the pursuit, the journey, the sense of direction and conviction of one’s dream, and the courage and determination to make the dream come true.

So, what brings happiness?

If you read the newspaper or watch television programs, you will see that the good life is in a new car, a luxury house, a high-flying corporate career, holidays around the world, and a bulging bank account.

But if you look inside at what actually gives you joy, the good life may be less of the material wealth and in fact much closer to you than you thought.

In fact, the question about pursuing happiness was explored in great details in a book The Pursuit of Happiness written by David G Myers. According to the book, researches has found conclusive evidences on the following facts:

- People who are happy perceive the world as safer, make decisions more easily, rate job applicants more favorably, are more cooperative, and live healthier and more energized and satisfied lives. Relationships, self-image, and hopes for the future also seem more promising. Positive emotions fuel upward spirals.

When people feel happy they are more willing to help others, such as to give money, pick up someone's dropped papers, volunteer time, and so forth.

- Within most affluent countries, people with lots of money are somewhat happier than those with just enough to afford life's necessities.

- Those who have experienced a recent windfall from a lottery, an inheritance, or a surging economy often feel some elation.

- In the long run, increased affluence hardly affects happiness. Even in Calcutta slums, people "are more satisfied than one might expect"

- Wealth is like health: Its utter absence can breed misery, yet having it is no guarantee of happiness.

- Most people agree that money can't buy happiness, but they do believe that a little more money would make them a little more happy, secure, and comfortable.

- Individuals who strive most for wealth tend to live with lower well-being. This is especially so for those seeking money to prove themselves, gain power, or show off rather than support their families

- Those who instead strive for "intimacy, personal growth, and contribution to the community" experience a higher quality of life.

- Those with "Yuppie values"—preferring a high income and occupational success and prestige to having very close friends and a close marriage—were twice as likely as their former classmates to describe themselves as "fairly" or "very" unhappy.

- Among 7167 college students surveyed in 41 countries, those who value love more than money report much higher satisfaction with life than do their money-hungry peers.

- The satisfaction of self-esteem and relatedness/belonging needs were the top contributors to the peak moment. The satisfaction of money-luxury needs contributed least.

- Very happy university students are not distinguished by their money but by their "rich and satisfying close relationships"

- More money buys no more than a temporary surge of happiness.

- Happiness is relative.

- Satisfaction and dissatisfaction, success and failure—all are relative to our recent experience. If you have achieved some successes, the next success will have to be greater than the previous one to excite you. If you don’t possess a car, winning a car in lucky draw will give you much greater happiness than someone who already has s few cars at home.

- Despite the realities of triumph and tragedy, million-dollar lottery winners and people who are paralyzed report roughly similar levels of happiness.

- Material wants can be insatiable – as can be seen why many a child "needs" just one more Nintendo game. And why Imelda Marcos, surrounded by poverty while living in splendor as wife of the Philippines' president, bought 1060 pairs of shoes.

- Seeking happiness through material achievement requires an ever-increasing abundance of things. At the end of his Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis depicts heaven as a place where good things do continually increase, where life is a never-ending story "in which every chapter is better than the one before." However, here on Earth most people experience the perpetual cycle of ups and downs in real life.

- Happiness is relative not only to our past experience but also to our comparisons with others. We are always comparing ourselves with others. And whether we feel good or bad depends on who those others are. We are slow-witted or clumsy only when others are smart or agile.

- Once people reach a moderate income level, further increases do little to increase their happiness.

- As people climb the ladder of success they mostly compare themselves with peers who are at or above their current level.

So, how do we pursuit happiness?

Read up on my next post: The Secrets of Happiness

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Live Your Future, Now!

. Monday, January 26, 2009

by: Michael Murphy

If you have followed all the talk about the law of attraction and the DVD (and book), 'The Secret', then you will realize that must shift your brain into a position of visualizing your desired outcome. The ancient wisdom said to 'believe that you have received.' In other words, start seeing your dream or goal 'as if' it has already happened.

Some people find it difficult to do this while also feeling the emotion of their desire as being accomplished. Nonetheless, this aspect is vital to allowing the manifestation of it in your life.

I want to give you a simple yet very powerful exercise that you can do that will help you vividly experience both the visualization and the emotion. Follow this exercise and practice it as often as you can. It will work in a powerful yet quite natural way for you.

Project yourself sometime into the future. Depending on how large your desired outcome is in comparison with what you truly believe can happen, you will have to set the time limit. I will let you know that the power to bring this about in your life, whether you consider it the universe or God or something else, doesn't operate on a time schedule like you and I. So whatever time you assign to this future point, doesn't really matter. As the ancient scripture says, 'According to your faith, let it be done unto you.'

As you project yourself into the future, imagine yourself looking backward in time, recounting the thing that you now desire, as having already taken place. What you are doing is projecting yourself into the future and seeing yourself give testimony of the thing you now desire. The difference is, you are looking backward in time 'as if' it has already happened.

Let me give you some examples of this.

Today is December 4, 2007. I will (in my mind's imagination chamber and eye) project myself 2 years from now. Let's say that I want to have a $1 million net worth at that time.

First, I imagine the turnaround in my thinking, looking back to today, December 4, 2007. In my imagination, it is December 4, 2009. I'm talking to a friend, doing an interview, standing up in a group that I'm a part of (perhaps even your place of worship) and recounting my turning point, two years ago.

I like to project myself as a host on Oprah. Oprah is telling the audience who I am and what significant work, event, invention, etc., that has brought me to this point of success in my life.

She says something like, “My next guest is Michael Murphy from Sherman, Texas. Michael used the power of the law of attraction to begin doing a free email service, simply empowering people through the power of encouragement. He began in February of 2006 to send out an email that directly gave amazing and powerful encouragement. Today, (December 4, 2009) he is reaching over 1,000,000 people through his 3 time weekly emails and giving them amazing encouragement and affirmations that are changing thousands of lives. He is also the author of 4 books, two of which are completely personalized books embedding the reader's name in over 100 pages of what he calls, 'Powerfirmations'. He has opened up a new field in book publishing by creating personalized books that no one has ever done previously.” Then, Oprah brings me on and begins the interview.

Now you may not see yourself going on Oprah. I do. I also see myself creating 1,000 personalized Powerfirmations books per week. I go into how my life turned around and how I'm living my dream by helping encourage and empower hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

As Mark Victor Hansen puts it, I'm creating my 'Future Diary'. You may see yourself telling a friend or doing an interview with a journalist. You may see yourself telling your children or grandchildren what you've done and accomplished. The key is, give your testimony in detail of exactly how you want it to be.

My next suggestion is to write out your story in detail and review it often.

You'll find that as you take action in doing what I'm sharing, you will feel the excitement and trigger emotions of hope, faith, confidence and clarity. You will begin to do what Dr. Covey said in his great book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. You will “begin with the end in mind”. You will find this as an amazing tool to bring about the manifestation of what you want in your life. You find yourself 'living your future, now'.

I am writing my autobiography. I'm not stopping it at today. I'm going ahead and telling my whole story. I'm telling how I want my future to be. I actually plan to self-publish it and put into a bound book.

You too can predict your own future. In fact, recognize it or not, you are the prophet of your own life. You create your reality. I heard people tell me for many years, “Michael, if you fail to plan then you are planning to fail.” Well, the problem I had was, I didn't know how to put together a plan for what I wanted to do. I didn't know 'how' to do what I wanted to do. So how could I make a roadmap to go somewhere that I'd never been before.

That's when I came up with this exercise. It is an amazing tool that anyone can do and use.

I encourage to take action in getting started on your own future. Start dreaming about where you want to be. Start writing it out. Start telling your 'future' story, now. Start planning your life and describe how you want it to be. Stop living haphazardly and start living on purpose. You and you alone will create your amazing life and live your dreams.

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Am I In A Dead-End job?

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by: Jim DeSantis

A blog reader asks:

My brother keeps pushing me to change jobs because he says I am in a dead-end job. He has given me a lot of good reasons to think so. I'm just not sure. Can you help?
(name witheld)


You certainly could be working a dead-end job if you have held the same position, for years and years. If you had goals when you applied for the job and have yet to see those goals accomplished, it may be a sign of a dead-end job. Your work go unrewarded, beyond the normal pay raises, especially if you have been employed by the same company for years.

Another sign that you may be working a dead-end job is your pay level. Has it been relatively level for a number of years. Today, most employers automatically give all employees pay raises yearly or even quarterly just to keep pace with the cost-of-living. If you have been employed by the same company for an extended period of time with any above cost-of-living raises, you may be working a dead-end job.

Have you asked for a pay raise above the normal raises and have been turned down for no solid reason? If, Yes, you may be in a dead-end job. Look, most employers expect employees to ask for a raise, especially after an extended period of time without a raise; therefore, you may have nothing to lose by asking.

Also consider this - If you do exemplary work in your current position you may be too valuable to the company in your present position to be promoted. So ask for that raise if you believe this is the case.

If any of these apply, speak to your supervisor or supervisors about your concerns. This may involve asking for an increase in pay or asking for a promotion, should any positions be available. Remember, though, be careful what you ask for. Do not ask for an outrageous raise in pay. Before you ask for a promotion, be sure you really want more responsibility.

Whatever you do, do not let this idea of a dead-end job negatively impact your work product. Be sure to continue to present a positive attitude in front of your supervisors, volunteer to work late or cover someone else’s shift in an emergency and so forth. You need to be a model employee, someone the company needs to keep happy, someone who is a great asset to the company. Keep in mind that your company is in business to make a profit. That profit provides you, and others, with jobs. The more you help increase profits, the more valuable you are to the company.

It may surprise you to know that many times supervisors mistakenly believe that workers are currently satisfied with their jobs because they have not been told otherwise. You need to be upfront and ask them for more and assure them that you are capable of handling more.

The last option you have, when looking to rid yourself of a dead-end job, is seeking employment elsewhere. If you have a family to support or bills that must be paid, you may only want to use seeking employment elsewhere as a last resort, but it is still a step that you may want to examine.

Your brother may be seeing something you are not but remain objective, not emotional, as you examine your situation.

Free advice is cheap for the one giving it and can be disastrous for the one acting on it!

Jim DeSantis
Library for Dummy's.com

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Why use a NLP Coach?

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by: Rintu Basu

Top performers in every area from sports through arts to business have coaches to help them reach and maintain the highest levels of performance.

The benefits of coaching

Just imagine a combination of your best friend, your most cherished teacher, your most hard-nosed manager, and your most positive guru available and committed to your personal development.

How much more will you achieve when these resources are available to you?

A coach will provide you all of this and more.

Seems a bit like counselling or therapy?

There are superficial similarities between coaching and therapy but there are fundamental differences. Coaching essentially is about commitment and development in the present moment to achieve future goals and outcomes.

Many forms of therapy are about fixing problems from the past. In coaching you might discuss past issues but this is only in the context of future goals.

Are there different forms of coaching?

There are many different names for different forms of coaching. Lots of coaches and coach schools have marketing names for different types of coaching. In broad terms you can fit most forms of coaching into five categories.

Peak Performance Coaching

This is very common with sports where a coach is generally a specialist in a particular sport. Peak performance coaches also appear in business, a sales coach for example.

Often peak performance coaches will have specialist skills such as NLP or Hypnosis. Many coaches have benefited from a good NLP Training Course.

You will find coaches working in markets that they have credibility in. For example I get a lot of clients from the coaching, training and NLP community simply because they are circles I move in and I am known in them. As a result I have more experience and reference clients in these Coaching is usually about personal discovery, so coaches do not need skills and experience from the context they are coaching in. markets. But since coaching is more about the client's personal exploration and goals it is not necessary for coaches to have experience of the context.

Life Coaching

Life coaches cover a broader area and might be looking at different areas of a client's life and their relationship to each other.

Executive Coaching

Executives coaching is usually about the challenges and issues of leadership and can cover anything from personal style, stress reduction to finding your passion for the role. Lots of executive coaches will use a personality profiling tool as a vehicle for their client's to explore and develop their outcomes.

Special events Coaching

Some coaches will specialise in a niche area like presentations or writing and publishing books. Often they have specific experience, skills or qualifications in the area and they may not conform to traditional coaching models because of their 'insider' knowledge.

Accelerated Success BreakThrough Coaching Sessions

This is a highly specialised area of coaching involving leading edge psychological, NLP and Hypnosis tools to facilitate great changes very quickly. There are only a small number of coaches skilled in this area and also not all clients are suitable for this approach. Hence there is a lot of pre-qualification before using this form of coaching. For those it suits it has great impact very quickly.

What happens on coaching programmes?

Coaches are very individual in their approach. Also coaching is more about the relationship between client and coach so there is no set format or approach. Some coaches work just by telephone and / or email, whilst others stick exclusively to face to face interventions. A lot is dependant on how you set up the coaching programme from the initial consultation.

Any coaching programme should start with an initial consultation where the programme can be set up. This would include duration of the programme, the sessions and overall outcomes and a whole raft of other areas that your coach will take you through.

After this typically sessions will be about updating from the previous session, clarifying outcomes for the current sessions and then targeted discussions of the current issues. The session will finish with action plans for the client to take away and complete. That said each session can be as individual as the client and the coach want.

Finding a coach

Since coaching is such an individual context it is difficult to fix criteria for finding a coach. Although some general rules of thumb do apply.

Coaching is all about a relationship between the client and the coach. Therefore in the initial consultation if the client does not feel they have great rapport that will allow them to be open and comfortable then it probably is not worth continuing.

It is also worth talking to your prospective coach about previous clients, experience and approach. Often when picking a coach it would be worth talking to previous clients.

The right coach will give you great value for money and could take you further than you had ever achieved without their support. It makes sense to spend a little time to ensure you get the right coach for you. You can find more in depth articles on finding a great coach on my website.

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From Zero to Hero

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by: Lance Ong

There are many distractions is the world nowadays... we have tons of books to read, endless movies to watch, cable TV, never-ending email, the Internet, newspaper, magazines, and games. Then there is the survival stuff you've got to do if you live by yourself – cooking, laundry, buying groceries, cleaning house, washing dishes, ironing, scrubbing the toilet (at least once in a while), making your bed, and even feeding the cat! And let's not forget that we still have to maintain our social relationships (friends), romantic relationships, children (if you have any), and go to work at the same time. By the way, if you're still a student then your job is studying.

Amidst all this confusion, it's easy to lose your purpose; easy to forget your goals and where you want to go. Let me tell you about a little trap people get stuck in when they're young.... In certain western countries, the children move out of the house to live by themselves around 17 or 18 years of age. They rent a room or apartment, get a job, buy their own groceries, study part or full-time, and rock their socks off on weekends. Actually, this may have positive effects. Living on their own forces them to learn how to take care of themselves, and studies also show that people with their own places, have more romantic encounters than those who live with their parents. But the problem I see here is that young people get caught up in the earning-spending cycle – they spend whatever they earn – and every year, you'll see them working behind the same counter, doing the same job, just surviving but not thriving. They've become too comfortable with their lifestyle of working and partying – they are in a state of limbo.

I admit that here I am making a value judgment; as if to say that this state of limbo is a bad thing. This may or may not be true; it really depends on which culture you are brought up in. Certain societies are upwardly mobile – the people are enculturated to be Yuppies. They want to be young and rich, so everything about them is business, image, reputation; sports car, flash cash, credit cards etc. On the other hand we have societies which are relaxed, the people do not make as much money, but are more attuned to their own interests and actively engage with what they like to do. Which lifestyle delivers greater happiness to the individual? Which path should a person pursue to live a significant life?

I have a friend who faced this dilemma. Her passion is cooking and she wants to be a caterer or restaurant owner. She even took a degree program in culinary arts. But her problem was that she did not have enough money to start a catering business or restaurant, and neither did she want to borrow from family or friends. So where does that leave her? Working as a chef, it would take several years to accumulate enough capital to start a business of her own. She owned no property to mortgage for a loan and no valuables to pawn off for cash. Her solution was to join a multi-level marketing company, believing it was the Holy Grail of fast cash. She urged me to join her network, but I told her that my past experience with MLM was difficult, and that she should not spend her time on it. Not because it can’t work, but because it’s one of the hardest ways to earn a living if you’re not a born salesperson. Every time you approach someone, you are met with a scowl of skepticism. The only people who respond positively are those who either never heard of it, or who are already in it. I really have to salute those who are still persisting in this industry. I told her that if her passion was in cooking, she should immediately go to work in the culinary field and ignore all alternative money-making plans. I told her that she could make all the money she needed doing what she loved to do… but alas she didn’t believe me.

Should a person chase the money or chase their passion? My suggestion is that if you know what you want, then make a beeline for it. Life is short; too short to spend meandering towards your goals. Many people spend their entire lives doing what they don’t like, in the hope that one day, they can finally start doing what they do like. The sad thing is, if you don’t start on your chosen direction early, the day of arrival may never come because you could get washed off course by the sea of life.

It doesn't matter where you are now – dead-end job, still in school, or broke without a penny – what matters is that you have a goal in mind, and are actively completing the next task to get you closer to your dreams. Sometimes our paths are not so straightforward, the road twists and obstacles may appear. But as long as you keep working on solutions, you can hop around obstacles, and maybe even blaze a new trail. The problem comes when you have no goal – no vision of a better future. That's when the distractions (TV, partying, and routine work) come in to fill the boredom and lack of forward focus. So keep your eyes on the target my friend, and avoid complacency. If you’re not clear on what you want to do, then you’ve got to take a time-out and think about it. Otherwise, you risk running for causes which take your time and energy, but ultimately leave you no lasting fulfillment.

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Instant Gratification is Your Friend!

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by: Vicky White

Instant gratification has a bad rap! For a choc-oholic it's gobbling down the chocolate for that few minutes of bliss even though if you eat enough of it your body doesn't feel the best and you'll outgrow your clothes. For a spend-oholic it's buying that bright sparkly thing you just have to have, and dealing with the credit card payment later....or not!

But for the clutter-oholic there's a way to turn your addiction into instant gratification and the kind you don't pay for later.

And why would you want to do this?

If your life is full of clutter you're suffering. You know you can't be your best. You know you're not thinking clearly or being as creative as you would like. You know you feel bogged down, frustrated and you feel part of your life has been stolen from you. You're consumed with all this stuff. You're ready to uncover the real you. And you're tired of feeling overwhelmed and stressed in your own home or office.

Here are 7 tips for using your clutter for instant gratification and experiencing an energy rush that will change your life! And that's no idle claim.

1.) Choose a room to start in. Perhaps you've looked at what's happening in the Wealth & Prosperity area of your home and you're going to start in that room. In Feng Shui, the Wealth & Prosperity area of your home is the far left corner when you're standing at your front door looking in.

Perhaps your office bugs you the most. Perhaps you've decided your relationship life needs a shake up so you'll start in your bedroom. Or perhaps it's your closet that needs decluttering. Choose one room or space.

2.) You're going to take everything (or most things) out of this space: so you need to decide where to put them. Do you have a spare bedroom you can use temporarily? Will you put things in boxes and pile them up temporarily in your hallway or garage? Can you put the contents of your closet on a bed for day or two?

3.) Next, remove everything from this room or closet: put in boxes in the spare bedroom, the hall, the garage, on the bed - just remove everything (except major furniture items) and create some space to breathe. Even remove paintings and mirrors etc from walls. This is an extreme makeover - remember you're going for instant gratification and this is the fastest route.

4.) Clean, clear, paint, enjoy: This is where you get rid of the old stuck energy that hangs around even when you remove the physical clutter. Vacuum, dust, and then clap your hands up and down the corners of a room or closet to disperse stuck energy. If this space needs painting this is the time to do it.

And then, sit in this space and soak up the energy. I've had more than one client do this and then not want to put anything back as it felt so good. This is where you get to experience the instant gratification I'm talking about. If you have never done it, you won't believe what a high it will give you. Chocolate has nothing on this!

All that feeling of stuck energy is gone and you can finally breathe. You've created space for something new, in one fell swoop.

5.) Enjoy some more: OK I know this is a repeat, but I want to make a point. This is probably one of the few times you've had an empty space to BE in. What are you feeling? Relief, possibility, spaciousness, expansion......? Take some time to soak it up. Perhaps it's time to do some journaling?? Some dreaming??

This is where you get to experience a new you - a you without all the stuff you've been carrying around. You've made yourself more important than your stuff. The Universe is smiling - you've freed yourself to discover who YOU are.

6.) Put back just what you love, what you use, and what makes your heart sing: This is where a touch of ruthlessness comes in handy. You now have this wonderful space where you have room to breathe and be creative. You're not going to put all the relics of your past self back in there and bog yourself down again, right? This is your new beginning. Even if it's a closet, when you create a space that reflects your highest aspirations and dreams it will support you in moving towards them.

Out with the old. Even if you've paid good money for something - if it doesn't support who you are deep inside, it's costing you even more to hold onto it. It's taking over your life and not only are you short changing yourself, you're short changing the rest of us too when you don't do what you're here to do. And it's hard to do what you're here to do when you're bogged down in stuff - whether physical, emotional or mental.

Starting with the physical is an easy way to instantly raise you energy and shift other kinds of clutter out of your life.

7.) Survey your domain: I still remember the feeling I had when about 6 years ago I did this whole process with my home office. I sat at my desk in my newly decluttered office and just marveled at the difference I felt. And within 2 weeks I had signed up for a coaching program and soon after, a Feng Shui training also - neither of which I had even considered before then.

Going for instant gratification by doing a major declutter will create a huge energy shift and propel you into connecting with yourself in a big way. It's not for the faint hearted. Decluttering is the most powerful personal growth tool I know. Your life WILL change.

Because clutter has so many emotions tied in with it, if you've had enough of feeling bogged down, these tips will show you instant gratification can be your friend. Giving your energy a major lift means you'll now start attracting something different - more of what you want.

Now, which room or rooms will you start with?

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Getting the Most Our of Life

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by: Shlley Stile

What happens when a sense of dissonance is ignored? More likely than not, it will result in a life filled with regret and bitterness. You deserve better: you deserve to get most out of life.

A good friend of mine, Pat, has been married for about twenty-three years. She and her husband have three kids, plenty of money and a beautiful home. There is abundance in their lives in terms of material items.

They hardly talk with the exception of check-ins on the children’s schedules. My friend is a gregarious and curious human being who loves people; she loves to immerse herself in deep discussions about any number of things. She loves to learn and grow

She is desperate for communication with her husband; for a deeper connection with him. She wants to experience more love and caring but he just doesn’t go there: he doesn’t do “deep” discussions or open up emotionally. He doesn’t seem curious at all about the so-called “deeper” things that fascinate Pat. She feels she hardly knows him. She knows her girlfriends better.

What to do? First, she needs to accept the fact that we have control over only one person in our lives: ourselves. Try as you might, people change only when they decide they need and/or want to change. Have you had relationships that went south? Did you attempt to fix the other person? How did that work out? If you did manage to see significant change in that person, trust me, it was because they made the decision to change. You might have nudged them in the right direction - but unless they were fully committed of their own volition - it wasn’t going to happen.

So back to Pat. If she wants change in her life, if she wants more, it’s up to her and her alone. She needs to get very clear about what she wants in her life. What has real meaning for her; what are her passions; who is she (minus all her roles in life) and who is she becoming?

Whenever we hit a major life challenge or life transition, it is important not to make any fast decisions before we gain clarity. We must start with inner work. It’s important to take stock of yourself. Envision a future that will be fulfilling, that will be in full alignment with what matters the most to you. Forget about whether it seems possible. Work in the arena of, “If it was totally possible, I would…” What would the first steps be to achieving that vision?

Don’t go it alone. If you are serious about change, get support. Do the inner work. Ensure that you get reflective time every day by meditating, taking long walks in nature, doing yoga or just being silent. Whatever clears your mind. A clear mind is the key. You need clarity in order to make choices.

Try to look at the situation without any preconceived notions or judgments. Forget your habitual way of seeing the world. Drop your personal, past-based filter. Let go of emotional turbulence. Once you can look at reality the way it really is versus the way you perceive it through whatever-colored glasses you wear, you will start to see options that never existed before. Soon you will be in touch with your real desires and intentions. In other words, it will come to you. Trust your instincts.

Get in touch with what you value in life and where your passions lie. Connect with them. Consider what you are willing to accept for yourself and what you will say no to. A favorite quote of mine states that, “We are defined by what we say no to.” That says a great deal.

Pat is doing the work it takes to gain true clarity about what she intends for her future. At the same time, she is also making the effort to communicate with her husband in a way that comes not from an emotional state, where everything ends up being highly reactive, but from the place where she is connected to her values. She is working on being what she believes.

One thing is for certain. Pat knows full well that life is short and as such she wants to get the most out of life. As we get older, we see that all too clearly. If we are unhappy, dissatisfied or looking for more in our lives, we need to honor ourselves and not settle for less than what we deserve. In this country’s Declaration of Independence it states that we all are entitled “to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Act on it.

We all deserve a life that we can look back on with a deep sense of satisfaction; to have people in our lives who nurture us; to do work that we love and which gives us a sense of accomplishment. We deserve love in our lives as well as good friends and family. As we age, we come to the realization that our time is limited. The time for change is now.

Just because we deserve these things does not mean we will have them. It remains our responsibility to create a life worth living. It is a wise person who takes the initiative to create meaningful change in their life instead of being someone who whines that life is not giving them what they want. To acquire a life worth living means not settling for less. Not settling for less means taking action.

What will you do now, today, to get what you want? What will you say no to? What will you say yes to? The answers you make in response to these questions will certainly define the rest of your life.

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Your Life’s Purpose: You Don’t Get to Pick Your True Nature; You Get the Choice to Honor It or Ignore It

. Sunday, January 25, 2009

by: Tama J. Kieves

I recently worked with a middle aged woman, an attorney in a large law firm. She felt panicked about her life’s direction. She felt stuck, hazy, and anguished. “I want to know my life’s purpose,” she said. I always get nervous when people want to know their “life’s purpose.” I feel like Moses handing out parchment scrolls. Purpose sounds so grand and epic that almost anything sounds too ratty or ordinary to be right.

We talked for a while and she admitted, with guilt and giddiness, that she longed to live near a white beach and write fiction. “Well that sounds like a true desire,” I said, thinking we had found the yellow brick road. “Well do you think I should take classes in journalism first or get an MFA in writing or work on a newspaper?” “I think you should move to the ocean and write, or at least start thinking about how you might do that,” I said. Her face did not register this comment. “I could also work in the film industry,” she thought to herself out loud. She reeled off other considerations. I realized she wasn’t listening to me. And she still wasn’t listening to herself.

She insisted on thinking more about this, spitting out more options, more possibilities, more choices. “You don’t get a choice,” I wanted to say. You don’t get to pick what you will love. You don’t get to pick what will light you up or heal you or free you. You don’t get to pick your true nature. You get the choice to honor it or ignore it, to give birth to it or to deny it. That’s it. That’s the range of your choice.

The Sufi poet Rumi speaks of this kind of singularity. He says, “God picks up the reed-flute world and blows. Each note is a need coming through one of us, a passion, a longing-pain.” There is nothing in this statement that lets you consider alternatives. It’s not about scenarios or schemes or figuring out how to do something. It’s about the longing-pain, the hunger, the ache. You do know what you ache to do, how you ache to live, how you ache to dance. This is not a multiple choice exam or an exercise in intellectual prowess. It’s an admission. A sigh, a recognition. Sometimes it makes you want to cry. When I finally admitted to myself that I wanted to be a writer, a creative writer and nothing else, it felt like someone had taken a sword out of my heart, a sword that had been stuck there for as long as I could remember. It felt like relief, sadness, elation, and freedom. It didn’t feel like a plan or a strategy.

In This Time I Dance! Creating the Work you Love I wrote, “You won’t find the secret notes to a saxophone life with a bookkeeping mind.” I know it’s hard to keep logic out of this. But the soul has its own logic and that’s what we’re trying to redeem. You do not want to choose something just because it “makes sense.” Remember, it may “make sense” to the very part of us who is in the way. This is not about creating a life that makes sense to a blocked and pained one who has not yet discovered the secret passageways of following fire. You want to listen to whatever has energy for you. Energy is your clue. Not sense.

Ironically, we delay our journey by thinking and thinking about what our answers might be. A Course in Miracles says, “A miracle comes quietly into the mind that stops an instant and is still.” It doesn’t say that a miracle comes to those who think harder, talk faster, or do more research. A miracle hovers in the realm beyond thought. In quiet, peace, and acceptance, we discern what is already there. It’s waiting for us. It’s waiting for us to drop the twisting and turning and connect to our feelings and tell the truth.

Many days, I am much like my client. There is still a part of me that is trying to figure out how to get from here to there. It feels as though a thousand roads present themselves daily and a thousand more by night. I feel like I will miss out on chances if I take the wrong turn or that I will delay my dearest dreams. But then I remember my energy doesn’t lie. I can feel in my body what feels right to me and what doesn’t. I feel tight and removed when I think of certain choices. They are “good” choices. They are choices I “should” make. But they are not intrinsic choices, choices I’ve already chosen in my bones. They come from outside and will not stick. So I let them blow away like confetti in the wind. I want to listen to my own true way.

Just remember when you think you have a thousand choices, you are thinking. When you are thinking, everything has equal weight and appears confusing. But only the truth is true. And the truth comes from feeling.

I place a wilting plant in another corner of my window. A week later I am thrilled to see it likes this window. It likes the angle of the sun, not too direct, and not too diffuse. This plant does not have a thousand options. It knows what it needs and where it will thrive. We think we have a thousand options because we can imagine a thousand lives. But imagination is of the mind. Revelation is of the soul. Listen to your soul and let it tell you what it needs right now.

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How We Sabotage Ourselves And What To Do About It

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by: Brenda Shoshanna

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy and fit. There is no end to the diets, workouts and health plans. Yet the most important diet of all has been overlooked. This is a diet that releases stress, relaxes muscles, offers sound sleep, diminishes appetite, and makes you look and feel younger; it brings you new friends, a happy work environment, good relationships, and adds years to your life. This is the diet from anger' one of the worst plagues facing our nation.

Anger is a serious problem for one in every five Americans. Road rage, workplace violence, school shootings, domestic abuse and addiction are just a few of its many outlets. The reason such a huge proportion of our nation is on anti-depressants, involved in alcohol, and drug addiction, overweight, in broken relationships and involved in all kinds of destructive behavior, can be directly traced back to the effects of anger, particularly the hidden kind. It has also been well documented that anger strongly affects physical health and is directly related to heart attacks, blood pressure, back pain and many other physical disorders. This is called symptom substitution.

We also turn our anger against ourselves in other ways. We become depressed or experience mood disorders, hopelessness, passive aggressive behavior, promiscuity, domestic abuse and many other forms of general misery. Sometimes anger converts itself into obsessive-compulsive disorders and individuals become unable to make decisions or choices about their lives.

Anger is ruthless in the course it takes, attacking and disrupting our body, minds and spirits. As school and workplace shootings rise, the divorce rate climbs, people are on increasing anti-depressants. Many are increasingly unable to deal with the stress of 9-11 and an everyday terrorist threat. It is clear that anger is a societal problem, which is only growing worse. It is time we paid attention to the #1 terrorist we face: the anger we live with every day.

At the present time many of individuals in our society are dependent upon medication of all kinds. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, weight loss supplements, low blood pressure medication, blood thinners and anti-bionics of many kinds are taken to ease the many symptoms of unhappiness, unbalance and disease we suffer from. On the face of it the symptoms seem to differ from one another. If we look a little deeper, however, we can see that beneath the various forms of distress that appear, anger is quietly smoldering.

Today we fear many external enemies. It is not so easy to realize, however, that the worst enemy we face is this anger that resides within, the terror it causes us, and the ways in which this poison dictates so much of our lives.

Anger has many faces. It appears in many forms and creates different consequences. Anger that is overt and clear cut is the simplest to deal with and understand. When we or someone we know is openly angry, we know what we are up against and can directly address the cause.

Most anger lurks beneath the surface, however. It often does not even come to our awareness and manifests in endless, hidden ways - as depression, anxiety, apathy, hopelessness, and in many, many other forms.

It is crucial that we recognize anger for what it is, realize when it is appearing and notice the devastation it creates. Then we have an opportunity to root out this underground stream feeds our misery, and the misery we cause others. When anger is allowed to remain camouflaged it holds us in its grip and easily erodes the entire quality of our lives.

What To Do:

Just as we work out daily in the gym to strengthen muscles and attain flexibility, it is necessary to work out and strengthen the parts of ourselves that can recognize and release anger easily. We must learn to give up the various forms of anger and replace them with a healthy antidote. Some healthy antidotes to anger include: letting go of blame, forgiveness, generosity, seeing the best in others, letting the other be right, (just for today), giving others the benefit of the doubt.

Choose one antidote and work with it for an entire day. Then choose another. You will begin to feel so good, you won't want to go back to the old ways. As we daily eliminate the toxicity anger provides to our systems, not only will the results be reflected in our mental and emotional well-being, but in our environment and physical health as well. Eventually it will become impossible for anger to maintain the hold it once had upon them.

All teachings encourage us to be forgiving, but there is little actual instruction on how to accomplish this. Each of the antidotes listed above will help you along the way. Anger is the great impediment to forgiveness. When anger is rooted out, love and forgiveness arise naturally. Our lives and the lives of those around us then become hallowed and become all they are meant to be.

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How To Redefine Success Through Your Work And Life

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by: Craig Nathason

How do you define success?

If you are like most people, your definition of success is based on external factors. A nice house, perfect children, a trophy wife or husband, nice vacations, lots of material things, and of course, a great big salary.

What price will you pay for external success?

This is a question worth thinking about. Are you willing to work 10, 15, or 25 years at a “just a job” that you don’t really enjoy? Will all those material things make a miserable work life worth it in the end? Will you even have time to enjoy these things? Certainly, others in your family will enjoy these things. Is that enough to make it worth YOU spending all those years at the office doing meaningless work?

Will you work many years just so SOMEONE will approve of you?

Again, many of us do this as well. Your mother-in-law is proud, and your wife or husband brags about your job title at social gatherings. Does this make it worth it?

There are tradeoffs

As a public speaker and author whose life mission is to help people discover and do what they love, I can tell you there are tradeoffs. People over 40 usually know, deep inside, that their 20 years of working have met external society standards, but in many cases have not met their internal need for joy in their work.

As a college professor, I have taught thousands of students who are very focused on grades and making lots of money, but who have not been taught exactly what work FITS them best.

Both age groups, the over 40s and the students, are left confused, scared, and lost.

How do you define success from the inside out?

First, you must have a vision of what you want. What work excites you? Is there someone who you envy — someone who does similar work? If you had 50 million dollars, what work would you do right now?

Next, write down what you want. It is amazing what happens when you write down what you want. In many ways, it forces you to see your dream from a new perspective. Try it now for yourself. Write down the work you really want to do. You might write something like:

“The work I really want to do is………and the reason is………”

I have found, in my research and in my life, that when we know the reasons WHY we want something, then we can start to move towards it.

Talk to others

Many people stop short of their dreams by not talking about what they want. It almost doesn’t matter who you talk to, as long as you discuss your plans with others. They will, of course, offer their opinions; ignore them.

You are simply sharing what you have already decided to do.

Take small steps

Every success in life starts with a small step.

Let’s say you have a vision of yourself as a high school history teacher (I always thought it would interesting to dress up in the era of the period I was teaching to inspire my students). You have written down that you plan to become a teacher because this is something you enjoy, and because you believe you could make a difference in the lives of your students.

Now you start to tell people your plans. By doing this, you actually start to commit these plans to yourself, and it will be hard to turn back. You call a local school, and set up a meeting with a high school history teacher to find out exactly what you have to do next. Then you call and have a college send you enrollment papers to start a program to get the credentials you need. Now there is no turning back.

Now measure your steps

Now that you have committed to your new life, you’ll have to measure your steps. First, talk to your family, and come up with a plan to accommodate the new life you are working towards. You may have to adjust your standard of living, or maybe just pay more attention to your spending.

You’ll have to measure your progress towards your goal, and plan where you will focus next.

Learn to celebrate

You will be disappointed if you wait for a family member, or anyone else, to reward your progress. The rewards will have to come from you. I have learned that, when a person starts to live a life of integrity, this is reward enough.

You no longer have to compare yourself to others. It no longer matters who has the better house or car or spouse!!

The cycle starts over

As you make progress towards your new goals, you will continually adjust your vision to the reality you seek.

How do you define success?

When you define success as a contest to keep up with the new toys others have, you will always lose. There will always someone new to compete with. But when you do the work you love, and that FITS you, you will be happy and content inside, and just grateful that you have found your own authentic path. This is the best reward of all.

Now you will start to appreciate others without the need to compete.

Do you want to start to live to your own standards?

Start to move towards doing the work you love. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it!

As always, I’ll be cheering you on as you go- Craig Nathanson

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Our Priorities Are Reversed

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by: Roy E. Klienwachter

It's not a big secret and most people already know that one of the biggest concerns we have in North America is how do we cure an ailment, disease or infection - it's not about prevention.

I got up early this Saturday morning to a white background of winter's first snowfall. I still had four hours before I had to be at work, so I went into my article directory to check things out. My directory is committed to the human condition of mind, body, and spirit. I have over 6000 articles that cover these subjects from more than 1000 different authors. I decided this morning to have a look at my top articles and see what people were reading.

The figures were not surprising and you may have already guessed what the subjects of the top articles were about. The first four top articles received over 22,000 hits and they were all about remedies or cures for some kind of ailment. That is a very poor commentary on the human condition in as all illnesses or accidents are preventable or curable. That is not some wild ridiculous statement - it is fact. Doctors are speaking up and they are saying that 85% of illness is psychosomatic and half of the remaining 15% is preventable according to Dr. Deepak Chapra. The human body manufactures any drug it needs to cure itself and it is constantly renewing itself. All parts of the body, organs, bones, and skin are replaced automatically. It is our lifestyle that is killing us, not any disease. Behind illness and disease is thought, things don't just happen, and they are not random. For any movement to take place in the physical world there has to be some intelligence behind it. Illness is motivated by desire and accidents happen for a reason and seldom does either happen on a conscious level.

Illness and accidents happen because of the poor quality choices we make every day. These conditions are manifested because of working in undesirable jobs, involvement in unfulfilling and damaging relationships, breathing in polluted air, and eating poor quality foods. Spiritually these things happen because it is your body's way of getting your attention. As drastic as that may seem, nothing else seems to get your attention. In your mind you may know that certain things in your life are not working for you, but you continue along you way none-the-less.

Humans are creators by nature, and we create scenarios and outcomes that keep us locked into our destructive ways. Some may argue that we are living longer, but that is mostly because of the drugs and treatments we take to prolong our lives. Without them we would be living shorter lives.

These things are reversible, but it takes a will to change them. A concern for ones personal health and welfare is primary. More than anything else, all our choices about what we want as an individual must be known to us. Our root thoughts must be ones of personal fulfillment and a commitment to a higher level of existence. Once we are committed, all our choices will take us there. This is not about religion, but of spiritual awareness of who we really are. We come from, and are perfection embodied, and maintaining perfection must always be our first choice. All other choices will automatically maintain the choice we made.

Our commitment to comfort and maintaining the status quo lulls us into a state of complacency and a willingness to take care of issues when they come up, but not to prevention.

In my day job I educate people in air quality in their homes. After I have talked to them and asked for a commitment to change certain things; the most common answer I get is, "We're all fine now, we'll think about it" which is a nice way to tell you to get lost. The statement is likened to that of a smoker who says, "Well I don't have lung cancer now, I'll wait and see what happens - the statements are identical.

Maintaining good health or having accidents are all personal choices we make every day. Whether making a choice to be proactive or reactive, they're both choices. Deciding not to spend money on preventative measures is a physical and observable demonstration of your personal thoughts about it. Thinking about it is a "no" answer. We as a country are at large motivated only after something happens.

We have our priorities reversed, so I am not surprised when I hear, "how could this happen" it's easy to understand - you let it happen. This may sound cruel to someone who was in a car accident or who has terminal cancer. The truth remains the same; we are creative beings, and we create all the circumstances of our lives. By knowing this, one retains the power to change their live to one of holistic health and good fortune. There are many who are living that life now. There are people who never have accidents and never get sick. If another can do it, then it is possible for anyone to do it - unless of course you don't believe you can.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Law of Attraction, Subconscious Mind Power and Manifesting Your Desires

. Tuesday, January 20, 2009

by: Leon Edward

Control your life, start with controlling your thoughts and your mind and absolutely manifest your wildest desires. There is a catch. We may even be attracting into our lives the things we don't want. Learn the mistakes that you can avoid and exact techniques to attain your desires in record speed. The irresistable, natural law of attraction works perfectly every time, only our ability to clearly use this law and the pitfalls described can be counter productive.

Quantum physics has shown all matter is simply a certain vibrating rate of energy. All energies will gravitate to other energies of the same or similar vibrating energy rates. Our thoughts and beliefs also vibrate at certain frequencies and energy levels. Thoughts of ours as having their own vibrational frequency not only attract into our lives similar vibrations from people, events, ideas, even financial status and opportunity but they also imprint our subconscious mind blueprint. So you can see that we really need to be sending the right signals or else even our subconscious mind can in actuality be working against us! This way, we can attract more of the same vibrational level thoughts of the people, circumstances, things, events that are in sync with our own desires.

Whatever you focus your intentions on, you will attract into your life. What? You may say, - No way did I attract this mess into my life! - . Well , in fact maybe you did, by mistake. Here is an important key in the law of attraction. Whenever you focus on something you do not want, you start the vibratory patterns of yours that attract the very thing you are trying to avoid. Very simply stated, if you focus on what you want , you will get it but if you focus on what you do not want, you will get it too.

People , as I once did, can get focused on something negative. As examples; maybe it is bills, maybe it is a bad habit, lack of a partner , etc. By focusing your attention on it , even trying to rid it; you are attracting the very thing you want to get rid of! Instead, in order to receive our desires into our lives, we need to allow them. For example, instead of focusing on - not being broke all the time - , just relax and allow riches into your life. Another example would be instead of focusing on not having a loving relationship, be happy, content and be a joy to be around - send out positive vibrations of how great it is to be in a loving relationship. You will have a circumstance where you will attract another person with similar thought patterns. So focus on your desires. Let this be your overriding mindset.

A technique to keep focused on your desires and manifest them quickly is visualize these desires as if you had them now, in the present and feel the emotional state that they bring you. Focus on the benefits whether they be personal , materialistic, effecting others, achieving goals or other desires. The best time to practice this visualization is early morning and late at night before sleep. Both times are best but if you only can spend one fifteen to twenty minute session or so , make it early in the morning. Creating a desire manual or scrapbook if you will, made up up pictures of your own desires whether they be relationships, travel, new sportscars, homes, diamonds, donations, or other. Whatever it is focus on these each day. What emotional state will you have when each of these is manifested. Imagine exactly how that feels. If you felt that way in an earlier portion of your life, use that memory to get that feeling again. The stronger the emotion the better. Also, your certainty of you attaining the desires plus your belief that you will, should both be strong. This way you will attain your desires the quickest.

As mentioned, an important point in achieving your desires is that you must believe what you desire .

The strongest, fastest way to manifesting your desires is to believe as if you already had your desire.

This is not always easily for many . However, if instead of saying you have these desires, just change your thinking to an intention. Here is an example . Instead of the following statement.

I have a 70 foot luxury yacht. Use this next statement for better belief.

I choose to have a 70 foot luxury yacht . Or even better,

It is my intention to easily own a 70 foot luxury yacht.

You may have noticed that I did not mention a time constraint. I know many successful people have used a milestone date in the future where you will attain your desire . I have myself in the past successfully. However, with programming the subconscious setting milestones can even be detrimental . I mean this in a way that your subconscious might work faster than you even thought possible. And get this. It may multiply your desires to limits that you did not think possible. So whatever you do when you plan the desires you will attain, set no limits and ALWAYS pledge to meet your desires in an ethical manner that will benefit you and others in the best way possible to add value to peoples lives. By repeatedly practicing these steps, you will get a stronger belief and certainty and such control your life, start with controlling your thoughts and your mind and absolutely manifest your wildest desires.

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The Secret Behind The Subliminal Message

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by: Michael McGrath

The phenomenal success of the movie The Secret has shown us that people the world over are starving for information on how to get their lives to work better. This movie highlighted the power of the human mind and our innate ability to create and attract whatever we want in life. The Law of Attraction was explained brilliantly but although the movie did explain the power of visualization and how to align yourself with your desires it did not tell you about your subliminal thinking or how to change it.

In the movie you are told that everything you have in life is a direct result of your thinking. In addition you are told that your thinking is regulated by your emotions. How you feel about certain things in life determines how you think about them and how you think about them determines what you create, attract and ultimately what you experience.

Therefore, in order to create a life that you want all you have to do is to think about the things you do want and ensure that you do not think about the things you don't want. Now this sounds easy in theory but I am sure you will agree it is far from easy to practise!

It is true that people get what they do not want in life, whether those things are career related, relationship issues, financial problems, health issues or just negative life experiences in general, because they are giving thought to those things. You may ask yourself how are you meant to think about only those things you want to have when everything around you is affirming that you do not have them? It is extremely hard to constantly imagine yourself as already having the life you want until your dominant thoughts reflect that when everything you can see, touch, smell and hear is the opposite of that inner vision!

Well the first step to doing this is to think of your vision in terms of not actually being that way already but thinking that it is in the process of coming real. This will eliminate a large portion of the resistance you will experience as you observe what is happening in your environment and life. By believing that your desires are in the process of manifesting and that life is unfolding in the direction that you want you can remain more focused on the life that you want to create through your vision.

While you hold this frame of mind your next step should be to program your subconscious mind with a blueprint of the life you want. Your subliminal thinking should reflect that of your vision and desires.

This is the important step you need to make the law of attraction work for you. The only reason that you cannot keep your thoughts only on the things you want and find yourself constantly thinking about the things you do not want is because your subliminal thought processes are programmed that way. Your subliminal thinking is regulated by your subconscious belief patterns and these must be changed if you wish to experience success and accomplish your goals in life. You must program yourself to think like a winner. This programming must be at a subconscious level if it is to have a real lasting effect.

To begin to program yourself at a subliminal level you should begin with gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude is the first essential step you need to practise if you wish to create the life you want. By reminding yourself daily of the things in life that you already have and that you are grateful for, you will dramatically alter your perception and focus and draw more things into your life to feel grateful for.

Then you should create an inner vision of the life you want and begin telling yourself that everyday is bringing this vision closer to reality. Keep reminders of the vision in the form of pictures, written affirmations or anything that will bring your vision to mind when you encounter it. Ensure that tehse little reminders are of a postive nature and in no way negative or the cause of frustration i.e. they should not remind you that you do not have your desire but instead motivate you and remind you that you are moving closer to it with every passing day!

Be prepared to take appropriate action if you still feel constantly frustrated or remain in a negative frame of mind. Use your negative thoughts as a positive launching platform. Contemplate the causes of your concern. For example, you may want a promotion but feel, think and believe that you will never impress your boss enough to get noticed. Use that to your advantage. Begin to think of ways that you can use your natural abilities and skills to get noticed or acquire some new ones.

Unfortunately though, many times negative thinking has no real basis is fact. It is therefore necessary to start reprogramming your subliminal thinking and subconscious belief patterns. Seek out ways to accomplish a winning attitude that is automatic. Subliminal messages are an excellent way to reprogram the mind and ensure your subliminal thinking is in alignment with your conscious desires.

Visualize your dream life everyday ' once in the morning and once at night. Be thankful for what you have in life. On a daily basis practise being grateful for the law of attraction, which is ensuring that your inner vision is actually in the process of becoming reality. Be grateful that you have the power to program your own subliminal thoughts and that by focusing on whatever you want you can bring it to you.

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Use Your Feeling To Know Best Possible Future

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by: Enoch Tan

Consciousness is omnipresent not only across space but also across time. Which means that consciousness exist in simultaneous time where the past and future exist together in the present with the present. In consciousness, there is only one moment in time, and that is the eternal now. The past and future exist as probable events that are happening right now in the mental plane. The physical plane is where events in the mental plane move in and out of manifestation as we travel through physical time.

The difference between the dream world and the physical world is that events taking place in the physical world are linear in sequence. Which means there is a logical progression from one event to the next without break in continuity. But in the dream world, events are nonlinear and discontinuous, which means you could be observing one event and the next moment, you are in a completely different one. This is how experience in the mental plane is like, where time is nonlinear and you can time travel.

Intuition works in a way where you connect your consciousness to an alternate possible universe by focusing on a particular choice. That alternate universe that exist in a probable future of yours vibrates at a particular frequency. You sense that frequency with your feeling. If that alternate state of the universe is a desirable one for you, the feeling you get will be desirable. Which means that you are knowing ahead how you would feel if you were in that universe. This is how your spirit tells you good choices.

You are consciousness and therefore you exist everywhere in space and time. Messages from your intuition about possible future events is really feedback from your alternate self in an alternate universe. It is like you from the future telling you in the present how you feel about the choice you already made. Therefore we are given no excuses for making choices without knowing ahead what the consequences will be. After all our spirit knows everything and so every experience we have is a chosen one.

Before making a choice, think about how you would feel after you have already made it. The key thing is to judge by how it feels and not how it looks or sounds. Feeling is the sense that perceives beyond what you see or hear. Even when something looks right, sounds right or logically seems right, but yet it somehow feels a bit off, learn to trust your feeling and find out what's not right. There is something you probably overlooked, and your logical mind may catch up when you explore what needs refinement.

Your feeling is your vibration. When you are experiencing something that is good for you, you will feel good about it. That is why to be happy and fulfilled in life, you have to do the things that make you feel good. When you do things that the world says is good for you, looks good, sounds good and even seems good in a logical way, but yet it doesn't feel good, you will feel dissatisfied, empty and disillusioned. Your purpose here is to live your calling by following the spirit which guides you by your truest feelings.

When you have several choices in mind that feel good to you, find the one that feels best. You may have to try them out one at a time in order to really know which one resonates with you the most. Remember that your spirit guides you to make the best choices in every moment. Which means what feels best now may not feel best later or what doesn't feel best now may feel best later. So don't be confused about how your feelings change from time to time. Simply think about how you really feel and do it.

By using feeling as a guideline, you can also alter your perception about the way things look to you and sound to you. What looks and sounds good at first no longer looks and sounds the same way when you follow your feelings. What didn't look and sound good before may now look and sound good when influenced by your feelings. Never make your choices based on appearances alone but always give attention to what is unseen but felt. Your five senses are external but your sixth sense is internal.

You do not only sense an alternate possible universe with your feelings but you also attract it to you. That is why the only appropriate usage of negative feelings is for sensing undesirable possible realities so that you may avoid manifesting them into physical experience, or to prepare for them if they are inevitable. Negative feelings and scenarios are not meant to be focused on and not to be avoided either. You should acknowledge negative feelings and then focus on positive feelings to attract their reality.

Feeling also creates reality by giving it energy and attracting power to manifest. Before you make a choice, you should feel good that you are going to make a good choice. This sets the stage for you to attract the best possible choices to show up in your reality. Then as you look through the possible choices, look for the one that feels better than the rest. Feel good as you make the choice, and after you have made it, feel good about having made it. Feel good before, during and after a choice for best results.

Understanding that feeling is both a perceptive and creative power enables you to use it to the fullest. Energy moves in two directions, in and out, and it moves both ways simultaneously. When energy is moving out, it is also moving in and vice versa. You attract what you feel and you feel what you are attracting. In order to experience a thing, you have to become that thing. Consciousness experiences by becoming that which it is experiencing. Feeling is a state of being. Feel and know your best being.

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