Turn Out A Better Generation

by: Rebecca Hintze

The hope of our future depends upon our youth. If you’re a parent, grandparent, or teacher and sometimes feel as though you have no influence, remember this quote by William Ross Wallace: “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

Recently, I had a terrific experience with one of my daughters. On her own, she volunteered to provide service to a family in need. After completing her commitments to this struggling family, she shared her experience of serving. I was emotional listening to her explain her thoughts and feelings about the events surrounding this opportunity. While watching her eyes and expressions and listening to her tender thoughts and feelings, I noticed how much more advanced and wise my daughter seemed to be than where I was years ago at her same age. I shared the experience with my mother (who I knew would be a proud grandmother). My mother was thrilled, as she said to me, “That’s perfect! Your job is to turn out a better generation.” My mother pointed out that many times parents feel competitive with their children. But really, parents should be thrilled to watch their children out do them. She said, “If every generation put out a better generation, our world would be a better place. What better tribute to a family heritage than to send out a more improved version every few decades?”

How can we influence an improved generation of youth? Here are 10 suggestions for parents, grandparents, and even teachers and loving, influential friends:

1. Trust them! Children are born with inner knowing and are often more in tune with what’s right and best than their parents realize. Often, adults shut this inner knowing down in youth by projecting fear and judgment and pressing upon them rules of social conditioning. Usually, our youth will naturally graduate toward greatness if we trust them and allow them to be authentic, remove our judgments and fears, and let their intuitive nature thrive and guide them.

2. See them! Parents and teachers frequently project their personal issues onto youth. What a parent fears will often play out in the life of a child. This can cause youth to act out in ways that are not natural to them. Consequently, destructive family patterns pass on, even when the behavior isn’t instinctive to the child. When parents see their kids—who they really are—the youth are more apt to show up great. (For more on healing destructive patterns, see "Healing Your Family History" by Rebecca Linder Hintze.)

3. Listen to them! When parents and teachers are self-absorbed, they rarely listen to their youth. Listening is more than hearing what is being said. It is recognizing all that’s being communicated and that includes paying attention to non-verbal cues. Doing this effectively requires a parent to step outside their own perception and see another’s point of view. Children who are heard are more apt to keep the communication lines open—a critical factor in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship.

4. Validate them! Once a child is heard, if they are validated, they feel more confident and empowered to succeed. Validation is they key to overcoming any relationship block! When we feel validated, we feel loved and supported. This process is absolutely essential to supporting healthy growth and self-esteem.

5. Encourage them! Today, most of the information communicated in our world is negative, or critical. As a society, we seem to miss this essential point—encouragement does far more good than any form of criticism, judgment, or negative influence.

6. Support them! Many youth today feel unsupported--either adults in their world don’t do enough to sustain them, or they do too much, and consequently hinder their potential. Real support comes when the right balance is maintained. Know what your child can handle and still be successful. Then, maintain that balance.

7. Protect them! Healthy boundaries are essential throughout life. Teach youth to stay away from destructive influences that will literally ruin them—and stop them if they head down a destructive path. Adults don’t let two-year-olds play in a busy road for good reason! There are many dangerous influences that threaten the lives of youth and keeping kids away from them is just as important as removing a baby from a busy road.

8. Guide them! Though teenagers think they know it all, good advice is best found from a loving, wise, and caring adult. I remind my teenage clients that their friends may seem smart, but really, they don’t know much. Share your experiences and learning with youth and teach them correct principles that will foster long-term success.

9. Accept them! Remember in first grade when you colored a picture and you thought it looked great? If you saw it now, would it be a Rembrandt? Probably not. Youth will often do their best, and still it won’t be as perfect as you can do now. What’s not perfect is really perfect! We learn by making mistakes and healthy youth make a bunch of them. When I see a toddler throwing a fit, I smile and say, “He’s perfect at being two.” It really is okay when a teenager acts like a teenager and a wiggly boy acts rambunctious.

10. Love them! Living all these tips in relationships sends a loud message—that you love them! Ultimately, that’s all you can do to support anyone—and it’s the best thing you can do. Truly, all things will fail but love!

Your secret to being successful at accomplishing this list lies in your ability to apply these same solutions to yourself. If you struggle living these philosophies internally, you’ll naturally resist applying them in relationships outside yourself.

If you are a person who trusts your judgment, sees your value, listens to your inner knowing, validates your feelings, encourages and supports yourself in healthy ways, has healthy boundaries and protects your environment, receives helpful guidance in a loving way, accepts your weaknesses and strengths, and has self-love--you’ll find that guiding a better generation will come naturally.

As you heal, apply these principles—first, within. Next, use these tips in your relationships with family members, or with those you love and guide.

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Don't You Just Hate Mondays

by: Timothy Tye

I write this article to awaken your senses. If it succeeds in doing that, it may be the most important information you have ever read.

There's a strange feeling that manifests itself on many people everywhere once a week. As Sunday draws to a close, they have a feeling of dread that the next day is approaching. Some call it Black Monday, some Blue Monday. Any color and any case, it leaves you feeling black and blue in the heart. No matter how much you hate Mondays, it will come and you can do nothing about it.

If you disdain Mondays, you are not alone. It affects millions of people worldwide. And it's nothing to do with the type of job you hold: many people holding rather "pleasant" jobs do not look forward to the approach of Monday either.

Why do people hate Mondays?

Different people have given me different answers, but generally, it boils down to one reason: Monday represents the sacrifice of personal freedom for the sake of financial survival. A day or two of rest puts us in Relax Mode, and we abhor the very thought that our Relax Mode is ending.

But why do we have to go to work on Monday anyway?

In order to keep the job.
In order to earn the salary.
In order to pay the bills.
In order to survive in today's society.

If you don't realise how silly that is, listen to this: When a person says he is looking for a job, I tell you, he isn't looking for a job. If you give him a job without a pay, do you think he will take it? No sir, what he is looking for, is the opportunity to trade his time and energy and skill in exchange for money. Why then, does a person say he is looking for a job, when in fact he is looking for regular money? Because society has conditioned him to accept that the only acceptable way of getting regular money is to trade his time, energy and skill for it. If instead of a job, you offer him regular money, would he accept it? You bet he would! Unfortunately society doesn't work that way. In fact, society has us believing there is no such thing as regular money without a job. So much so that a jobless person is regarded with sympathy, if not contempt.

If you say everybody should accept his lot, go to work and bear with it, you are exhibiting herd mentality. If the whole village says the world is flat, do you accept that, or do you continue to believe that it is round? Just because everybody believes something or does something, doesn't mean it is the best thing to do. If it is, why do we hate Mondays, why do we look forward to public holidays, why do we wish our annual leave is longer? It's because humans are not made to work.

I believe God created us for a better purpose than simply to work for a living. I think God would be very disappointed that we waste the precious life on earth working for money, when we should be spending it edifying the human race. How do we "edify the human race"? By creating things of value, things of beauty, things that help people, including writing an article like this one that helps people realize their purpose of living. At the very least, we should be enjoying this life rather than spending it in exchange for money.

Do you love your job? If you say yes, would you be willing to hold the job without pay? If you say yes to that, then you are indeed filling your time doing something you are passionate about. You should continue doing it, whether or not it pays money. If, however, you don't love your job, or you love it but you wouldn't do it without pay, then you should seek to create a new stream of income so that one day you can either quit the job you hate, or work simply for the love of it. In either case, you should be working for the love of the work, not because you depend on it. Does that make sense?

I acknowledge that today's society is powered by money. Electricity may keep a lot of things running, but money is the ultimate fuel that keeps everything - including electricity - running.

If you're looking for an alternative income, you should have no difficulty finding one. Snap a finger and twenty will line up outside your door. There's always Multi-Level Marketing. Then there's sales, of everything from pots and pans to insurance, investment instruments, and encyclopedias. Before you sign up to an alternative form of income, ask yourself this important question: are you going to love that new job? If it's no or if you're once again trading your time/energy/skill for money, don't go any further!

Through my website HappyJoblessGuy, I teach people to earn an income by building their own website. However, a web-based income is by no means the only way to earn a living without holding a job. There may be others, but I am sharing this method with you because it works for me. I am not saying it is the easiest thing to do. Like everything else, you need to develop a skill. But if you can spend a few years in college just to acquire a skill, so that you can exchange that skill (plus your time) for money, you should be intelligent enough to acquire the skill to build a website that earns you money. Always build websites that support your passion, not just for the sake of earning money. Do not imitate me by putting up another travel website or living-skill website, rather look at yourself, discover your own passion, and create a website where your passion is celebrated.

When I started my first serious website AsiaExplorers four years ago, I wasn't able to articulate back then that I did it as a new stream of income. Instead, I did it because I was passionate about exploring Asia. Now it earns regular money, a byproduct of the passion I invested into it. Isn't that the grooviest thing, to do what you love to do, and earn money for it? I suppose it would have earned even more, had I known how to make the website more optimized to earn money. That's lesson learned as I move on to new websites.

Many people hate Mondays. If you're one of them, do something about it. Start today.

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Your People + Their Energy = Business Success

by: Janice Bastani

The moment your employees park into the lot and walk into the office they are already setting the energetic tone for the day. If you were standing in the window, looking out, and watching them file in for the day, how would you tell if they are Anabolic or Catabolic in their gate? How would you spot the employee that is going to close the biggest deal in the company’s history or the employee who is going to cause you to miss your Wall Street earnings? Which one of them is going to be the one who misses a quality control issue that will cause the entire line to go down for 72 hours while you retool?

The truth is that most of us cannot just look out and see this picture unfolding before our eyes. Yes, we can look at the body language and surmise what their energy leadership is, but it would be a guess. So, how would you deal with this common occurrence? Where would you start? Would you say: “… these are daily events in the life of our company and there is little we can do to stop them?” Alternatively, perhaps you have been very proactive and have engaged your employees in many training and other motivational seminars, in order to keep them on track. Statistics have proven that the rates of retention loss are very high once the event ends and are universally the same. So, I will ask again, please give me another way in which you could prevent this from happening more than say, 80% of the time? How does a leader teach, train and instill sustainable leadership in the organization?

Energy Leadership is a skill set that anyone can learn. If you are a C-Level employee, a small business owner, a college freshman or a sales person in the local grocery store. You see we all play off each other in an energetic manner. Like attracts like. When our mindset continues to play out in a negative or Catabolic manner, everything and everyone we encounter that day will also be directly affected by our energy. This person will pull everyone, every job, every meeting, every figure, every outcome, every encounter s/he has that day down to his level if left unchecked.

On the other side of this equation is the person who is upbeat and looking for the positive or Anabolic solution to life that day. What is the difference in the outcome and productivity of this person’s day? This Anabolic employee will lead with a positive force and lift everyone and every outcome around him/her in a productive way. The numbers and growth of the company will reflect what the energy level is with the employees who work there.

Which one of these two employees do you want to be pulling into the parking lot?

What is Energy Leadership and how is it measured? Energy Leadership is all about physics. You do not have to have a PhD to understand this concept. What you do need to have is an open mind that is willing to connect the dots and to let the scales fall from the eyes to see how this is playing out all around us.

Each one of us radiates energy. Do you remember those “stress dot” cards of the 80’s? These were plastic credit card size cards that you would hold in your hand with your thumb over a spot or you put a little colored dot on the back of you hand and leave it there for a minute. On the card was a sequence of dots which changed color based on your temperature, or if the dot is on your hand, the dot changed colors. It was a visual queue as to what was going on inside your body. What it measured was “warmth”. If a person is stressed; the blood is redirected to protect the organs and goes to the core of our body to keep them warm, and thus the extremities are cool showing up as a “black dot”. On the other hand, if the person were calm the thumb would be warm with blood flow indicated in a “blue dot”.

Energy is like this example above. It flows through us and everything we do that day is impacted depending on what level of Catabolic or Anabolic energy we are resonating at.

Executives as well as those whom they direct all are leaders. Each of these individuals indeed does lead daily either by “default” or by “with purpose”. Choice is an interesting topic in that we are always choosing every minute of every day. Think about how many choices you have made up to this moment. You have made thousands and thousands of choices. My guess is that you make almost 80% of them without much thought at all. You just do what you have always done. This is an example of “default” choice.

When we think about what we are about to make a decision about that is using a choice based on “purpose”. What do I want to happen with this choice? Who will be impacted with my choice? This is a different perspective in our thinking. This is also using effective leadership skills in the workplace.

When we choose to remain in a negative or Catabolic state the result is a bitter, resentful person that people avoid at all costs. On the other hand, a person who is upbeat and is always looking for the benefit, the win-win will always have success following them with others who are rising to the top in whatever area that this Anabolic person interacts with them.

Energy Leadership is the process that develops a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes not only yourself, but also those with whom you work and interact, as well as your organization as whole.

Look out your window. What do you see? What do you want to see? What are the results that you want for your organization? How will you lead your organization today?

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Life Coach: How to Make the Top Ten New Year Resolutions Permanent

by: Kelly Burris

This is not yet another article to give you advice or tell you what to do. Most people have a difficult time telling a five year old what to do let alone someone who has lived with an unwanted behavior for 5, 10, 15 or more years. This is an article about the basics of how to get the job done.

The mind is great at multitasking. This is why one can maintain several bad habits at once and this is why one can make several resolutions to replace those habits and accomplish them all. Before we get started with the top ten New Year Resolutions however one needs to understand some basic principals about the subconscious.

>From your very first breath everything you have seen, heard, smelled, tasted or felt is stored in the subconscious mind. The subconscious uses this information to determine how you emotionally respond to your world. This is what is referred to as your subconscious programming. You are continually subject to the random information of the subconscious if you do not know how it works.

This is why there is an endless supply of advice givers because no one has taken the time to address the single most important question for goal setting, New Year Resolutions or just simply a change in behavior and that is "What determines a human behavior?" A New Year Resolution or setting a goal is all about fixing something that does not work. This brings up another question "Can you fix anything if you do not know how it works?" The answer to this is an emphatic no. It is the equivalent of banging on the top of your radio or TV when it goes on the blink and suddenly it starts working. You say to yourself...I guess I fixed it. Does it make any sense to guess when speaking in terms of the quality of your life and what you need for it to work?

Once you have an answer to the question (What determines human behavior?) you will need information on how to act upon the answer but first let's take a look at the top ten New Year Resolutions slightly revised by a Master Life Coach.

1) Learn the Process of What Determines Human Behavior

The resolution of changing any behavior always begins with a question and the question here is, "What determines human behavior?You are guessing how to accomplish your New Year resolutions if you cannot answer this question. Without learning the process of what determines a behavior it is unlikely you will be able to permanently change any behavior so this question needs to be number one on your list.

2) Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Love is your most powerful emotional state and spending more time with people you love assists in solidifying this emotional state. If you underhand how an emotional state comes about you can maintain this powerful state in the absence of family and friends.

3) Health, Fitness and Weight Loss

Fifty-five percent of adults in America are overweight so this has become a popular New Year Resolution. Evidence of this is the packed Health Clubs in January. Weight Loss is almost a 40 billion dollar a year industry. Every year it is a rehash of the same old things and people continue to buy them. At some point you need to ask yourself if you have control over your eating behavior. If the answer is no or not really then it is time to get control of what is controlling you.

4) Quit Smoking

Smoking is more than just a habit it is a physiological addiction. This is why you must attack this problem from two fronts. There are a number of different ways to immediately address the physiological part of the equation but the behavior must be addressed at the same time in order to permanently kill the habit. When the habit is not addressed along with the physiological side of the problem more harm than good can be done. This happens when you continue to smoke while wearing a patch or using other pharmaceuticals to kill the addiction.

5) Enjoy Life More

This seems like it would be so simple but if you do not understand how an emotional state comes about this is easy to say but very difficult to accomplish.

6) Quit Drinking

While many people use the New Year as an incentive to finally stop drinking, most are not equipped with the skills in taking control of their subconscious. If you do not run the subconscious the subconscious is going to run you.

7) Get Out of Debt

Was money a big source of stress in your life last year? Out of control dept often means out of control emotionally. Over spending has a lot to do with trying to make yourself feel better. If you begin to understand how an emotional state comes about then you need not overspend to attempt to affect it.

8) Learn Something New

Challenge your mind in the coming year, and your horizons will expand. Especially if you are learning how the subconscious works and how to take control of it.

9) Help Others

This is a popular, non-selfish New Year resolution. As human beings our only real value is what we can do for other people.

10) Get Organized

Organization is the key to permanently maintaining a long New Year Resolution List but where do you start. You start by taking control of what allowed you to become disorganized to begin with and that is of course the supreme ruler in your life, the subconscious. Getting control of the clutter in the subconscious will bring about organization automatically in our lives.

The reason all New Year Resolutions gets down to the subconscious is because the subconscious runs approximately four times faster than you can speak and right now you have no idea what it is doing. The conscious and subconscious is like a rope tow with the vat of mud in the middle. The conscious is one person on one side against the subconscious which is four people on the other side. If consciously you say to yourself, I want to lose weight, quit smoking etc. it is usually a losing proposition because you are outnumbered with information. In other words if you do not understand how to take control of the subconscious you will almost always be out gunned by the subconscious.

Until you learn how to recognize access and change your subconscious programming your New Year Resolutions will probably always be carried over to the next year. The question before you make a New Year Resolution is "Do I want control over my New Year Resolutions?" If the answer to this question is yes then the first step is to get control of your subconscious.

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I Need to Go Back to School if I Expect to Earn More – At What Cost?

by: Patricia Smith

The door has been unlocked. There are more women than ever in high-paying jobs. Yet most working women, even those in management, are clustered into predominately female jobs and career paths. These women are almost always lower-paid than men and women who work in male-dominated positions. None of us can single-handedly change the way things operate in corporate America. But, we can change jobs. If we want to earn more money, the most assured way is to do the jobs which pay more. You are much more prepared to do this than you may think. Awareness is the first step. Many of us need to see the workplace as it really is.

I Need to Go Back to School if I Expect to Earn More – At What Cost?

As an adult, earning a degree requires enormous sacrifices to your financial, social, and emotional well-being. Sometimes, additional training or education is just what we need. Other times, our reasons for going back to school are not valid. Learn to examine your reasons for returning to school, just at you examine your reasons for acting and reacting in other ways. Maybe you are interested in returning to college for one of these reasons:

• You believe a certain education will bring you opportunities that you don’t have now.
• You think a degree will help you gain a level of confidence or competence that you don’t have currently.
• You don’t know what to do, and you want to go to college to find out.
• Someone recommended that you go to college.
• You want to be in college.

A degree means opportunity

As an adult who wants to change the direction of your career and earn more for your efforts, this may seem like a logical first step. It may even be true. However, there are many, many positions which have no specific educational requirements. Most positions in business are filled by people with a variety of educational backgrounds. It may be much easier to change companies than to get a degree. In this way, business differs from the fields of education and healthcare, where many women come from to business, and where specific educational requirements are a prerequisite to specific jobs (principal, registered nurse, neurosurgeon.)

A few courses in computer programming could mean much more to your paycheck than a bachelor’s degree in liberal arts. If you ask people what training meant the most to their careers, it is often not college, but the training provided by their current or previous employers, or a smattering of courses taken at various places. If you insist on going to college, make sure you earn a degree which will, in fact, enhance your career. If you don’t have a degree now, don’t earn one unless it is in a specific field which in fact holds opportunities. If you are going to take the time, effort, and money to go back to college, make sure it will pay off. Higher education is a top priority for so many women, and yet the great majority of us remain in lower-paying careers. What’s going on?

A degree means confidence and competence

Earning a degree might seem like a simple, if not easy, solution. The lack of an education is one of those concrete, well-defined reasons for not being where we want to be. We like to think there is a sure-fire way to get where we want to go, a straight path that no one will question. Life in the business world is not like that.

You may feel insecure about not having much education. Not surprisingly, the people without a college degree often make it more of an issue than those who have one. Don’t get a college education just because you think it will make you feel better. If it does not help your chances for advancement, you certainly won’t feel better. Don’t allow a lack of education to pull your confidence level down. Don’t be the one who makes your lack of education an issue.

College will help me define my goals

Women are too seldom in positions which expose us to the total workings of a corporation. We often decide to make choices later than the men around us, because we have spent time waiting for others to tell us what to do. We don’t even know what there is to choose from when we get around to choosing. College seems to be the only place to figure it out. If only we had a higher education, or more education, or a different degree, we would be able to clarify what we want out of life.

Many people in academia have never worked outside a university, and their experience in business may be more limited than yours. Course material will teach you something about the opportunities that exist, but not nearly as efficiently as you can learn on your own. Instead of going to college, do some investigative work on where the jobs are. If you don’t want to, do it anyway. The entire process may take a few months, but completing a formal education can take years.

They told me to

Maybe you are considering college because someone recommended that you do so. Perhaps this was someone you admire or someone who does the job you would like to do. Perhaps it was your boss. When we already feel insecure, half-convinced that we need more education, an offhand comment from almost anyone can cause us to run to the nearest college and enroll. Whatever the source, carefully examine your need to attend college before enrolling. What applies to one person may have nothing to do with you at this point in your life.

Perhaps you were turned down from a job because you did not have the right formal education. This may have been just a handy excuse to give you. Maybe you did not impress the interviewer for some other reason. It’s possible the person they hired had no more education than you have. It is easy to let others convince us that a degree will put us on the path to success. Meanwhile, we are losing out on opportunities in the job path of our choice, because our time and attention is on our studies.

I like school

Sometimes we go back to school because we want to be there. College or graduate school is a safe haven, where success is easily defined (grades.) College is as fair as almost any place we can find. If you want to go to school for its own sake, do it. Work hard and enjoy it, but don’t fool yourself into believing you have another motive. Certainly, there is nothing inherently wrong with education, or earning a degree. Something else might be better for you right now. Carefully examine your reasons and your situation before enrolling.

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The Secret Sequel - Will it compare?

by: Winsome Coutts

When the Secret DVD was first released, and when people heard about it on Larry King and Oprah, everyone wanted a copy. I bought mine 5 minutes after seeing the trailer and I loved it. My eyes were opened. I still count it as one of my favorite movies.

Lots of people got really excited about it.

"At last", they cried, "NOW I understand. All I have to do is focus my thoughts on what I want, and change the language in my head. I can manifest ANYTHING I think about. As long as I think about it hard enough and long enough".

"I want to get results...and fast. I shouldn't have to wait for months or years to achieve my dreams. I am going to practice LOTS of visualizing and positive self talk. I'll get my Dream Life...NOW"

They eagerly watched The Secret over and over in anticipation that this would bring them their goals. They visualized their goals all day long. They made Vision Boards and Lists of Goals. They kept a Gratitude Journal.

Now these are all extremely useful tools. Use them.

But does only this really work? Is it possible just to manifest things just like this? Really?

This is where The Secret falls short. When you watch it you get the expectation that you can manifest your dream out of nowhere. That belief and faith will automatically bring you what you want. Well...yes, and..no!

You MUST take action.

Mike Dooley says: "Thoughts Become Things"

A friend of mine Gideon Shalwick's has a great quote that he uses: "Thoughts are only potential things. They become things only through specifically directed action."

The Secret DVD only briefly mentions taking action. But it needs to be really spelt out.

Focus on your goal. Visualize it with feeling and excitement. Repeat it in your head or out loud. But here is the important missing bit ..... every time you get a little idea just popping into your head about ways to get closer to what you want, you MUST act upon it. (Bob Doyle says: "You might get some inspired idea of some action to take".) That little idea is The Universe responding to you reaching out saying..."This is what I want".

Being focused and thinking constantly about your goals is important; you must focus on what you want. (John Assaraf says: "You become what you think about most but you also attract what you think about most").

But unless you DO something you are just a dreamer. Unless you ACT, Nothing will become.

"The Science of Getting Rich" was the little book which inspired The Secret DVD. In this book, Wallace D Wattles wrote:

"... man must not only think, but his personal action must supplement his thought. By thought you can cause the gold in the hearts of the mountains to be impelled toward you; but it will not mine itself, refine itself, coin itself into double eagles, and come rolling along the roads seeking its way into your pocket. Your pocketbook is not going to be transformed into Fortune's purse, which shall be always full of money without effort on your part. This is the crucial point in The Science of Getting Rich; right here, where thought and personal action must be combined. There are very many people who, consciously or unconsciously, set the creative forces in action by the strength and persistence of their desires, but who remain poor because they do not provide for the reception of the thing they want when it comes.

BY THOUGHT, THE THING YOU WANT IS BROUGHT TO YOU; BY ACTION YOU RECEIVE IT."

And you must act NOW. Do not wait until you are in the perfect situation, the perfect job, the perfect relationship. NOW is the only time you have. My friend Sherry who works in my local Organic Fruit and vegetable shop told me this the other day:

PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

The Past is History

The Future is a Mystery

The Present is your Gift: Do It NOW

Put your whole mind and strength and act to the very best of your ability in the situation in which you presently find yourself. Do your absolute best in your current job today to provide service for your customers, your employer and your work colleagues. Be the best person you can with everyone you meet. Look after your health today as if your body was a sacred temple (it is).

Make every day a successful one. A successful day is when you have done the best you can, when you have been as efficient as you possibly can. You know if you have dallied around and wasted time and energy - having days like that actually take energy from you, disconnect you from The Universe. They don't feel good; YOU don't feel good.

Make very day a winner.

Now this doesn't mean that you should work yourself to the bone, working late with long hours and running around after the whims of other people. That is not successful.

If your days are ALL successful, you are moving in the right direction. Keep holding a clear image in your head of what you want, while being deeply grateful and The Universe will respond to you and bring you closer and closer to your dreams.

So - Does The Secret Really Work?

Well yes, and..no! It has made us aware that we can consciously use our brains to focus our thinking and putting our intention towards where we want to go. And as you change on the inside, you expose yourself to larger possibilities, BUT, when those possibilities come along, then this is the time to ACT.

Have a fabulously successful day.

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5 Sure Fire Ways To Battle Insecurity

by: Kim McGinnis
First we are pushed out from our mother's womb, then we are passed around from person to person like a hot potato. Next we are subjected to going to some strange place with other strange youngsters, while Mommy and Daddy go off to work. It just gets scarier after that. So, after years of having it stripped away from us, how do we hang on to a little security in an increasingly insecure world? Here are some ways that may offer a little inspiration:

1. Learn to enjoy your own company. If your blood pressure rises when you realize you are going to be home alone, you really need to experience more evenings by yourself. Think back to a time when you were at your happiest. What were you doing? Even if you were with a dear friend, that does not mean you cannot recreate the feeling you had. Watercolor, get a kid's coloring book and some crayons and get busy. Sing in your underwear, using the spatula as a microphone. Have fun, when no one is watching, and you will be more secure being yourself when you are with others.

2. Practice saying positive affirmations. First right them down. Here are a few examples:

I am confident in a state of not knowing.

The power of love allows me to trust my instincts above all.

My inspirational contribution is a unique gift to the Universe.

I am aware and open to all the spiritual healing life is bringing me.

Enlightenment is my birthright.

I am always connected to our inner source which provides me with constant divine guidance.

Many times insecurity has its roots in negative messages, which were fed to us when we were growing up. These are false messages. The uncluttered truth is you are a divine being. Practice writing and speaking affirmations that confirm this, and you will be much closer to the freedom that comes with living a fulfilling life.

3. Take a public Speaking Class. Public speaking is known to be one of people's greatest fears. If this is true for you, this is a great exercise to try. Join a club that allows you to get your feet wet speaking in front of an audience. The organization, Toastmasters, provides a wonderful venue where the members have the opportunity to present a speech. The audience offers three positive comments, and then one constructive comment. This a creative way to learn something new in a supportive atmosphere.

Once you have this experience under your belt, your comfort level with soar. You will be more secure conversing with others, whether you are at a work-related black tie event or meeting someone on a first date from your online service.

4. Give Compliments. When you give other compliments, you are complimenting yourself. Look at the people around you, and pick up the best qualities that they have to offer. Maybe they have a warm smile, or they have graceful movements, or perhaps they have exquisite taste in clothing. When you begin to take the focus off of yourself and turn your attention to others, you will notice a dramatic rise in your comfort level. And when you start noticing more and more positive attributes in your fellow travelers, you will begin to notice more in yourself.

Be genuine. People love to be complimented, but they can tell when it is not sincere. There is no need to over do it, just express your thought in a light, off-handed way. They may be taken aback, and they will begin to look at you differently. When pure positive energy is exchanged in this way, amazing things will magically happen.

5. Write down your Goals. These could be work or personal. Start with one, and then move on to the next one. This should have nothing to do about the expectations of others. What are your dreams? Maybe you have spent your whole life in a job that you cannot stand. You have to know that it is never too late to change careers. You owe it to yourself, to dig deep, and be honest. Do a little research about what it would take to get there. Put these things on your to do list. Break down these steps so that they are achievable. Mark each one off as you accomplish them. Change happens incrementally. Persistence turns change into transformation.

The whole idea of security is a bit elusive. Somewhere a long the way, we came to believe that we need security. Security is good, to be without it is bad. Maybe, maybe not. Looked at from another way, we could say there is nothing wrong with feeling insecure. When we put our selves in challenging situations, we set up a foundation for us to reach another level of fulfillment. Once we move past the feeling of insecurity it gives way to a feeling of contentment. So, do not beat yourself up if you are feeling insecure.

Wake up to this new way of thinking: imagine your feeling of insecurity as a gift. Accept it, open it up, and examine it. Once you understand what you are holding, you can let it go.

Copyright 2007, Avenstar Enterprises, Inc./Our Inner Source

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Lose Weight and Keep it Off Using Audio Weight Loss Support

by: Gordon North

You've heard it all before:

“Lose 21 pounds in 21 days!”
“Eliminate carbs and lose weight quick”
“Take inches of your waist line with the new magic ab machine”

These weight loss claims, and thousands like them, have fooled many of us into thinking that we can drop pounds with ease in no time at all. I'm sure you've tried (and failed) countless fad diets and you've purchased the 'fool proof' exercise products that are now gathering dust underneath your bed because they just didn't work. Don't blame yourself for these numerous failed attempts – you just weren't given the correct information that you needed to achieve weight loss success.

But let's not dwell on the negatives. Today is the day that you begin your journey to a happier, healthier you. It's time to take control of your life and start a realistic weight loss plan, and I'm going to share a few tips to point you in the right direction. That means that I'm not going to convince you that there is a wonder product out there that will give you results in minutes, I'm just going to give you the cold, hard truth.

The fact of the matter is that in order to lose weight you must take a holistic approach by combining the right mindset with physical activity and healthy eating. Now, lets be honest, it's not going to happen overnight, but you should feel reassured that if you're committed to losing weight you will actually keep it off instead of piling on the pounds as soon as you fall off the bandwagon.

So where do we begin? Successful weight loss is largely dependent on your mindset. You have to want to lose weight and you must be prepared to get through the hard times to achieve your weight loss goals. After trying the crash diets and the 'celebrity body secrets' we all know that losing weight is certainly not as easy as companies make out, but weight loss hypnosis is a great way to keep you motivated through the tough times, maintain your focus, and give you the confidence you need to succeed (check out http://www.lodingo.com/_catalogue_11438/Fitness_Motivation). Audio hypnosis is particularly good as you can listen to it on your mp3 player whenever you like and it will cost you very little.

Once your head is in the right place it will be much easier to stick to a healthy diet and your exercise routines. But you don't have to feel alone as there are several eating and workout audio programs that can help you out. Qualified nutritionists and food experts will reveal how to maintain a healthy diet using a simple step-by-step process and will explain which foods you should be eating to boost your energy levels and lose weight. They will educate and encourage you to make smarter food choices by describing how to read food labels so you know exactly what you are putting into your body.

Similarly, you can have your own personal trainer on your iPod to give you the motivation you need to exercise. There are over 20 workout programs you can choose from that include physical activities such as dance conditioning, core training and fitness techniques (check thout out at http://lodingo.com/_catalogue/Workout+Audio+Downloads). The programs are perfect if you don't like going to the gym as the majority can be used in your own home according to your schedule. Alternatively, if you're a gym junkie many of the programs have been developed to get the most out of your exercise routine using equipment such as treadmills and elliptical machines. You can take your own fitness trainer with you on your iPod and forgo the additional expense of having to pay for the gym's personal trainers.

There are a number of advantages to using audio programs to support you in achieving your weight loss goals. Firstly, they are very inexpensive and they can be replayed over and over again so money won't be a barrier to a healthier lifestyle anymore. Secondly, audio programs can be used anytime and anywhere so you can be confident that you will have the time to take the steps to losing weight. Finally, they are discrete. If you would prefer that no-one knew that you are trying to lose weight then audio programs are the perfect solution as everyone will just think that you are listening to music on your mp3 player.

So now it's time for you to follow my lead and start using weight loss hypnosis, healthy eating plans and exercise routines to get the slim body that you deserve.

The only thing you've got to lose is an unhealthy lifestyle!

If you would like to try any of the audio products I have mentioned check out the range available at
Good luck!

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The Midlife Transition:' Are You in it?

by: Jennifer T. Grainger

Did you know that today's midlife women (ages 40 to 65) are the first generation of women to be culturally free to transition into their Second Adulthood?

Did you know that the midlife transition often includes:

- being dissatisfied with your life, your career, and your important relationships that have provided fulfillment for a long time.

- feeling anxious or restless and wanting to do something completely different, but not really knowing what it is.

- feeling confusion about who you are really, or where your life is going.

Most of our mothers and grandmothers never had a chance to blossom into their Authentic Selves. Trained from childhood to be subservient, and being financially dependent in a patriarchal society, they were expected to fade into the background, their main value being unpaid babysitters and community volunteers. Instead of fading some had "nervous breakdowns."

The Current Generation of Baby Bloomer Women Are Simply Not Going To Stand For It!

However, navigating the midlife transition is a daunting journey. There are very few role models to turn to. With the lack of a road map, and many external pressures for you to not change, the results are predictable: feelings of anger, guilt, confusion, doubt, anxiety, and the fear of being selfish.

Did you know that the midlife hormonal changes that can cause anxiety, fatigue, depression, fuzzy thinking, and mood swings are your body's way of telling you to STOP and PAY ATTENTION to yourself?

You'd think paying attention to yourself would be an easy thing to do.

It's not!

After spending the first half of your life caring for everyone else, you might find the connection to your Authentic Self high on the endangered species list!

I often hear women say, "But it feels so selfish to think about what I want." When they become convinced that "giving from a full cup" is beneficial to everyone, then I hear, "Wow, I didn't know it would be so hard to pay attention to what I want!"

The good news is:

- all of this is NORMAL

- there is plenty of help available

- when you successfully transition into your Second Adulthood, the people who resisted your changes the most, (including yourself) will receive the most benefit of engaging with you as a joyful and contented person who is passionately living her life On Purpose.

Here are a couple of books I found useful:

- Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood: What Matters: What Works: What's Next, by Suzanne Braun Levine

- If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife, by Stephanie Marston

- Navigating Midlife: Women Becoming Themselves, Robyn Vickers-Willis

Lastly, don't be mislead by our youth obsessed culture. The rewards of being able to live authentically far outweigh the youth obsession. I am sure you have had the experience of seeing an older woman whose inner and outer beauty made it hard not to stare. Being a beautiful, attractive, mature woman gets easier every day with eating right, exercising (including facial muscles), good skin care, and thinking positively. That's what I am going for!

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Five Keys to Great Questions

by: Kevin Eikenberry

Toby was a young and ambitious salesperson. Part of his training had been to spend time with Janice, a veteran and very successful salesperson at the firm. As Toby went on sales calls with Janice he took notes, and one of the things he marveled at was Janice’s ability to ask great questions. In fact he had been collecting and recording her questions and had begun using the same questions himself.

Toby was disappointed though, as it seemed that the questions that worked so well for Janice didn’t seem to have the same result for him. He was pretty confident his timing was right – he wasn’t asking a particular question at an inappropriate time ... so he was confused.

He continued to try and practice for several weeks. Then at the annual sales conference, he decided to see if he could get some additional coaching from Janice. He asked her to have breakfast with him on the second morning the conference. Janice was pleased and quickly said yes; she appreciated Toby and thought he had a very bright future.

After they had placed their orders, Toby described his dilemma; he wanted to know Janice’s secret for asking questions so successfully. He explained that he felt it wasn’t the words themselves – in fact he proved it by showing her over two pages of handwritten questions he had heard her use successfully.

Janice listed intently and smiled. When Toby was finished, she, not surprisingly, asked a couple of clarifying questions to make sure she understood his situation. Toby smiled as he noticed her naturally using great questions yet again.

After their food had arrived, Janice sat quietly eating for a couple of minutes, clearly pondering Toby’s queries. As she finished her toast, she said, “I think there are five things that make for great questions beyond the words themselves, Toby. I’ve certainly thought about each of these things in the past, but perhaps never as a cohesive set. That’s why I took a couple of minutes to collect my thoughts.”

Toby smiled to assure her that he didn’t mind. Then he slid his plate away so he could take notes.

When Toby returned to his room after the full day of Conference activities, he reviewed his notes on Janice’s five keys. Here is his summary of those ideas.

Before You Ask The Question

Toby compiled these ideas as an acrostic so he wouldn’t forget – remember to put your questions on ICE . . .

I ntent – The intent of your question is as important as anything. This intent will guide the overall success with your question. In fact, if your intent is genuine, pure and sincere, it will allow even the clumsiest question to be successful. Regardless of the situation, consider why you are asking a particular question. If the question is meant to gain knowledge, help the other person, allow them to express themselves or in some other way be a step in serving them, your question will be more powerful.

C uriosity – When we are genuinely curious about the answer to our question we will ask better questions. Sometimes people ask a question in a perfunctory way, or they ask even though they already assume they know the answer. When we ask our questions from genuine curiosity, they will be more successful and effective.

E xpectancy – Ask questions expecting to get an answer, and expecting to get a valuable answer! When we ask our questions with a positive expectancy, we will ask much better questions.

After The Question is Asked

Toby realized that the other two ideas on his list come after the question has been asked. Janice’s advice for this critical time was:

Care About the Answer – While it may seem obvious, in reflecting on this point, he realized that when you have the ICE components before your question, you are in a much better position to truly care about the answer you receive. Janice reminded him that the question itself is only a vehicle to get to the answer – and so truly caring about the answer is a huge key to successful questions.

Listen – The last item on Toby’s list was something he knew Janice did well. Janice truly listened to the responses to her questions. Of course Toby knew that listening was important – everyone does, right – but as he reviewed the other four keys he realized that they all led up to and supported successful listening.

As Toby reviewed some of his recent sales calls he realized that his intense focus on asking the right question had diverted him from these five ideas and that these considerations before and after the question itself would be the key to greater success.

These keys aren’t just for Toby – but for everyone, in any interaction where you ask questions. Use these keys and you will unlock even greater power in your questions.


-----------------------------------------------------

Potential Pointer: Great questions are about more than the questions themselves. Your purpose for asking and your willingness to listen carefully are as important to the value of the question as the words themselves.

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How to Communicate Better in 3 Simple Steps

by: Peter Murphy

Do you ever leave conversations at work wondering why you bothered opening your mouth? Do you sometimes wonder how many times you have to tell somebody something in order for them to get it right? Do you feel that just don’t listen? If so, then perhaps you need to know how to communicate better.

Communication failure is one of the biggest problems faced by businesses today, especially by their managers whose job it is to solve these communication problems; if you learn how to communicate better you can prevent these communication difficulties happening at all.

You know you are heading for communication problems when it appears that the other person has stopped listening to you even before you have finished talking. You get the hint when you can’t attract everyones attention when you speak at meetings or when you are not getting anything back from the other person with whom you are attempting to have a conversation.

You can’t blame other people for this and you can’t change the way that people listen to you; you need to improve your own communication skills.

1. Pause for thought

People are only capable of listening for so long. That attention span becomes shorter if they disagree with you or become confused, so when you see your audience’s eyes glazing over, you know it’s time to stop talking. Hopefully you will have stopped before that point. If you really want to communicate better, you have to listen too. Find out what other people are thinking; not only is that the polite thing to do but it also enables you to find out what people do not understand or what the resistances are to what you are saying.

2. Keep to the point

State your points clearly and simply with no mistakes in order to be easily understood. Signal what you are going to talk about from your very first sentence by stating your aim right away. Then the rest of your talk should be the way you expand upon it and illustrate your point of view. You can ask for feedback later or allow brainstorming of ideas if you wish, but make your point clearly first to avoid confusion. At the end, you should summarize any decisions that are made and make each person’s responsibilities for action clear. Make sure each person that needs to do something after the communication has a SMART target.

3. Watch your tone

You should speak to others as you wish them to speak to you, without arrogance, hostility or sarcasm. Make sure you speak loud enough to be heard but not so loud that your tone appears aggressive. Speak with authority, having thought out your words; you will be much more credible to your audience. If you have a strong regional accent you should try to soften that and make your dialect and accent more standard, to avoid confusing your audience who may not be from the same region.

You don’t have to neutralize your accent completely as an accent can be very endearing, but you need to make sure the way you speak is standardized enough to be understood by others.

You need to learn how to communicate better because communicating well is the best way to ensure that you are listened to and understood by others.

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The Secret Master Keys And The Law Of Attraction - Keys To Conscious Co-Creation

by: Stephen H Lockie

In 1933, for all intent and purposes, The Master Keys disappeared from public light, a decision was made within the hierarchy of 'the church' stating "The Master Keys will never be revealed to the public"... I'm sure the vatican was heated by many a book relegated to the furnace... "it is easier to control the poor, than control the happily wealthy"... I'm also sure a few were kept in 'The Archives' for their own use to accumulate the huge sums of money, art, sculpture, manuscripts, real estate etc they have.

Well, you can't keep something like this hidden for ever, and in the first part of the 1990s, when the Silicone Valley millionaires and billionaires were being made, it is well known they all read the text and went on to create the biggest stockmarket boom in history. Bill Gates is said to have come across a copy a couple of years into his Harvard University studies and soon after dropped-out... to create for us all the means to access information at our finger-tips... "putting a computer in every home" may seem a lofty goal, fraught with obstacles and difficulties, but that certainly didn't stop him from achieving it, and becoming one of the richest men on the planet to boot...

It is our birth-right to live in abundance. Charles Haanel knew this, and many others before his time and since have known it... now it's our time to experience The Secret Master Keys and allow ourselves to achieve all that we desire... Health, Wealth, Happiness and Abundance in all things... to live a life of joy.

Let me give you a glimpse of the wonderful gems Charles Haanel has given us... from Key One of the course... Paragraphs 2, 3, 6, 7 & 31;

"Mind is creative, and conditions, environment and all experiences in life are the result of our habitual or predominant mental attitude".

"The attitude of mind necessarily depends upon what we think. Therefore, the secret of all power, all achievement and all possession depends upon our mode of thought".

"There is a world within - a world of thought and feeling and power; of light and life and beauty and, although invisible, its forces are mighty".

"The world within is governed by mind. When we discover this world we shall find the solution for every problem, the cause for every effect; and since the world within is subject to our control, all laws of power and possession are also within our control".

"Every thought therefore is a cause and every condition an effect; for this reason it is absolutely essential that you control your thoughts so as to bring forth only desirable conditions".

He certainly pulls no punches, he explains through the logical male side, and the creative feminine side of our brain, how our mind really works, and restores our thinking to higher-thought. In the recently released movie 'The Secret' ( http://www.thesecret.tv/ where the book in its original form can be read) the Quantum Physicist, Dr Fred Alan Wolf, says "You can't have a Universe without mind entering into it... the mind is actually shaping the very thing that is being perceived..." We literally create all that we are, all we have, all we receive, and all we experience... everything, totally through our thoughts and feelings, whether we believe it or not, or are conscious of it or not... 100% of the time without exception.

There is no capricious outside force arbitrarily dealing out what we get in life, WE are that force, WE are creating our lives. We can create a life of stress with all those things we don't want, or we can create a life of wonder where all that comes to us is positive, abundant, joyful and loving... it's our choice.

Once this concept is fully grasped and accepted, IT IS LIFE-CHANGING. The Master Keys are a set of systematic steps or Keys, that transform our lives into the meaningful and joy-filled experiences they were meant to be. "There is no virtue in poverty, no benefit in self denial" what could we possibly gain from either... absolutely nothing whatsoever. We were born to have a full and abundant, successful, healthy and happy life. As Wallace Wattle says in his gem of a book, The Science Of Getting Rich, "No-one ought to be satisfied with a little, if they are capable of using and enjoying more... to be content with less is sinful..."

The wonderful thing is, we can change everything in an instant with a change of attitude... Gratitude for the things we have now is a great way to generate the feelings which will allow us to leave the competitive mind, enter the creative mind, and start to create the things we want in our lives.

The movie The Secret is a fantastic start to allowing this "power within" to come out... it shows you what this Secret is... The Secret Master Keys shows you how to re-train your mind to create what you desire, by applying a very systematic, step-by-step method and then... the world is yours to do as you wish.

Take care what you think and wish for... you may just receive it sooner than you expect.

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Dealing with Anger Management

by: Crizza Reyes

We all experienced those moments in which we feel completely out of control with frustrations. Perhaps you’ve thrown something across the room, screamed at someone uncontrollably or put your fist through a wall. Having this kind of experienced, most people react rationality out of their emotion. Unfortunately, the majority of people will lash out without thinking and then realize what they should have done after the fact and the damage isn’t exactly easy to take back. Through this, without even realizing that we hurt the feelings of others during those stressful moments and perhaps even cause some damage to ourselves or our property.

An emotional state that may range in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Anger has physical effects including raising the heart rate and blood pressure and the levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. It inspires powerful and often aggressive feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. hen anger gets out of control and turns destructive it can lead to problems at work, in personal relationships, and affect the overall quality of life. People with anger management issues get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person, and the notion that “letting it all out” helps is false, because it actually escalates anger and aggression, which doesn’t resolve anything.

The term, “anger management”, commonly refers to therapeutic techniques and exercises practiced by someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger to control or reduce triggers. The goal of anger management is learning how to control anger before it controls the individual, both emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes according to the American Psychological Association and various reliable online resources. The most common techniques recommended immediately before escalation of emotions is to stop talking, stop staring, and leave the room. Learning relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation will also help, in addition to stress management skills, learning empathy and forgiveness, and becoming optimistic instead of pessimistic. Chronic mismanagement of anger can lead to serious physical and mental disorders, and if the individual is not proactive, whether by voluntary or involuntary means, the outcome could be disastrous.

We need to understand anger management. Even though, some people don't need to go to the anger management classes that your communities offer, but others may have that need. There are people who can control their anger and deal with it in healthy ways. They have somehow learned that their emotions can be controlled and that they need to react only after they have thought the situation through. They still have the same physical reactions that are natural to every human being – the quickened heartbeats, raise in blood pressure and the levels of adrenaline. That’s what your body does instinctively when you get angry. The important concept of anger management is the physical reaction that your body doing.

Of course, our bodies and minds react in an aggressive manner. We want to whip out and defend ourselves. Even the meekest of individuals will experience that feeling. In fact, isn't bad thing to react in that manner in that some kind of situation. But, most scenarios don’t need such a harsh outburst. We all know that we can’t get rid of the people who annoy us or the scenarios in this world that will test our patience beyond its limits, but we can change how we react.

If you are attending classes, or reading books and listening to lectures, this can be helpful and life altering that can convey to you. You’ll learn relaxation techniques and how to calm yourself down in certain situations. And also you will learn ion techniques and how to calm yourself down in certain situations. You’ll learn how the language and words that you use in aggravating scenarios can be unwise choices and incredibly harmful. Once you can learn some relaxation or calming techniques, you’ll be better able to solve problems much more rationally than you may have previously. You may also find that you’re learning to communicate with others as well. Suddenly, learning some of these anger management solutions in which you can convey your anger in healthy ways will have you seeing the world a bit differently.

If you find that you struggle with anger management, admitting that you may need to find some healthier ways of dealing with life and its stresses could be a great way to start to enjoy your life more. In fact, every single person could benefit greatly from learning some forms of anger management. You just may be surprised at the person you turn into.

Limits are placed on how far anger can take an individual, by laws, social norms, and hopefully common sense. People just can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys them; they need to focus on something positive instead of losing control and dramatizing every life event. Fortunately for these people, there are many reliable self-help resources available online for people with anger issues, including online anger management counseling and education.

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The Secrets of Real Happiness

by: Jordan Cheng

As mentioned in my previous post What Is Real Happiness, there are paradoxes surrounding wealth and happiness, which drive everyone to its pursuit. The reality is, there are sufficient evidences to show a significant disconnect between wealth and well-being.

Based on the research findings, you will know that happiness can be elusive and yet attainable.

The following are suggestions on how you can increase your happiness:

Realize That Wealth Does Not Create Permanent Happiness. People adapt to changing circumstances—even to wealth or a disability. Thus wealth is like health: Its utter absence breeds misery, but having it (or any circumstance we long for) doesn't guarantee happiness.

- "The mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquillity. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it."

- Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759


Be Your Own Time Master. Happy people are master of time management, and hence often feel in control of their lives. It helps to set goals and break them into daily aims. Although we often overestimate how much we will accomplish in any given day (leaving us frustrated), we generally underestimate how much we can accomplish in a year, given just a little progress every day.

Be Happy, Even Deliberately. We can deliberately put ourselves into a frame of mind by starting it with physical action. When you feel moody, look at the mirror and put on a bright smile to yourself. It ignites the energy of joyful emotion, which makes you feel better and trigger subsequent positive moods. When you meet people outside, your energy can be felt by people and brings forth mutually contagious effect. So put on a happy face. Talk like someone with high self-esteem, optimistic, and outgoing. Once you go through the motions, it can trigger the emotions. As Mary Kay said: “Fake it until you make it”

Align Work with Passion. As mentioned in my previous post Experiencing Flow State, happy people often are in a psychological state called “in the zone” called "in the flow" – when one is completely absorbed in a task that challenges them yet without overwhelming them. Most of the expensive forms of leisure (such as sitting on a yacht) provide less flow experience than gardening, playing musical instruments, painting, keeping fish, socializing, or craftwork.

Be Physically Active. It has become a known fact the exercise not only promotes health and energy, it is also an antidote for mild depression and anxiety. Go for gym, jogging, swimming, yoga, aerobics, Pilates, and anything that works your body and gets you perspiring. Sound minds reside in sound bodies. Read my post “Why I Wake Up At 6 am Every Morning” on my experiences benefiting from daily morning run.

Have Enough Rest. Happy people live active vigorous lives yet reserve time for renewing sleep and solitude. Many people suffer from sleep deficiency, with resulting fatigue, diminished alertness, and gloomy moods. If insomnia is the cause, try to restore balance in life, exercise regularly, have proper diet, get a massage, practice yoga and meditation.

Give Priority to Close Relationships. Intimate friendships with those who care deeply about you can help you weather difficult times. Confiding is good for soul and body. Resolve to nurture your closest relationships: to not take those closest to you for granted, to display to them the sort of kindness that you display to others, to affirm them, to play together and share together.

Focus Beyond Self. Reach out to those in need. Happiness increases helpfulness (those who feel good do good). As true as the saying “what goes around comes around”, doing good also makes one feel good. Being opened to the needs of surrounding people also help you avoid dwelling in your own misery.

Be Grateful. People who keep a gratitude journal—who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, senses, natural surroundings, and so on.) experience heightened well-being.

- "I cried because I had no shoes," states a Persian saying, "until I met a man who had no feet."

Learn Not To Compare. Most of the misery of people comes from comparing with others who are better or have more. This is the definite source of discontent and a perpetual sense of lack. It may continue to drive you to achieve more, but for the wrong reasons. It is like the rat on the treadmill, constantly chasing its tail until exhaustion. It puts a person on over-drive without any sense of fulfillment. If there is any happiness from achieving, it is often fleeting. When you stop comparing with others, you get started on the path of freedom.

- "Our poverty became a reality. Not because of our having less, but by our neighbors having more."
- Will Campbell, Brother to a Dragonfly, 1977

Nurture Your Spiritual Self. For many people, faith provides a support community, a reason to focus beyond self, and a sense of purpose and hope. Study after study finds that actively religious people are happier and that they cope better with crises.

May you live a life of pure and permanent happiness!

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The Broccoli Principle.

by: Craig Harper

Even as a teenager I learned that, as a rule, the stuff which tasted great was bad for me, and the stuff which tasted like complete crap, was gonna do me the most good. What a ridiculous notion. What kinda weird-ass, nasty prank is that to play on a fat food-loving kid? So not fair. So not a lesson that I wanted to learn.

"Whaddaya mean, donuts don't have the same nutritional value as vegetables? Let me see that research paper."

As a somewhat resourceful (code for smart-ass) chubby thirteen year-old, I actually could have run workshops for the masses:

* Vegetable Evasion 101.
* 50 creative things to do with vegetables at the dinner table, other than eat them.
* How to create the 'illusion' of vegetable eating.
* Managing your fear of vegetables through cognitive disassociation.
* Developing your own vegetable allergy.

If the entire range of vegetables started and finished with potato, I would have been a vegetable-a-holic. I could, on occasion, stretch myself to carrots, but only to keep the Vegetable Police off my back momentarily. Peas were mushy crap, the asparagus smell was worse than my school bag (that's saying something), brussel sprouts totally creeped me out, and I had re-occurring nightmares about broccoli; it reminded me of teeny, weeny trees. Didn't look like food to me. Disgusting.

For the majority of my teenage years, my mother and I actually engaged in vegetable warfare.
Gotta say, in her thirties, she was quite the tactician. She needed to be; I could spot a hidden vegetable at thirty feet. Mothers do that you know; the vegetable 'hiding' thing. They're trained in it by their mothers. And their mothers, mothers before them. We poor, simple men live in the dark when it comes to this stuff. I'll write an article on that one day.
As I got older, she became more and more skilled and increasingly cunning. Not fair really, I was just a dumb kid. You grow up thinking that mothers are all 'love and light'; they're not. They are sneaky, resourceful, creative and extremely strategic adversaries. Sure, they look all cutesy and caring; it's a complete scam. They are hard-core. They are simply vegetable pushers in frocks. Yep, many significant battles were fought at the Harper dinner table.

"I don't care how long you sit there Mister, you're not moving until you eat every last vegetable on that plate!"
"Cow" (in a feeble-under-my-breath whisper).
"What did you say to me?"
"Nothing."
"I'll give you some 'cow' around the ears in a minute, Mister backchat"

That's another thing nobody tells you - Mothers having super-human hearing; it's like some in-built, special survival mechanism, chick thing. It puts us kids at a biological disadvantage. What kinda lame-ass 'level' playing field is that? I wish I learned about the hearing trick earlier. Coulda saved myself a lot of heartache. It's amazing how scary a tiny little woman, with cooking utensils can be.

Did I mention their unique propensity to bend the truth?
"Mum, does this have broccoli in it...?"
"Hmm, don't think so.."
LIAR!
Your pants are SO on fire Mary Harper.

When it came to vegetables, she had absolutely no morals. She would lie, cheat and coerce those horrible things into my mouth. She would look at me with that innocent, 'but-I'm-your-mother-why-would-I-mislead-you' face and then proceed to lie her ass off. Even when I'd find the offending vegetable in my meal (hidden cleverly under the good stuff), she'd come out with "I don't remember putting that in there!!"

No wonder I have trust issues.

It wasn't until I hit my twenties, that I actually began to understand and appreciate the psychology and the motivation behind my mother's sneaky little habits. And yes, I did reluctantly discover that broccoli is amazingly good for me. Even though it doesn't come close to cheesecake, I consume it on a regular basis because it's good for me. Now, if only someone could only create a cheesecake with the nutritional values and benefits of broccoli! Or conversely, maybe grow some broccoli that tastes like cheesecake. Now there's a business idea.

I now use the 'Broccoli Principle' when I am working with people in the areas of personal and professional development. Even as adults, we are addicted to the 'yummy' stuff (metaphorically speaking). The stuff that's easy, the stuff that 'tastes' good, the stuff that doesn't challenge us, get us out of our comfort zone or cause us to become stronger and more capable. It's also usually the stuff that doesn't allow us to grow and be 'healthy' (psychologically, emotionally, developmentally). We 'eat' what we want, rather than what we need. We're adults behaving like spoiled brats. And what we end up with, is stunted emotional growth and personal development scurvy. In order to 'grow' properly, develop our potential and create our own version of 'amazing', we need to eat the broccoli that life serves up.

Okay, I'm off to investigate that cheesecake flavoured broccoli thing...

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Doctors And Nurses: Listen Up

by: Kate Loving Shenk

I have been a practicing nurse for 24 years. In that time, I have had many patients who have been sexually abused.

Recently, I received a story from a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.

She believes that health care professionals do not listen to the needs of those patients who have been raped.

The question was raised in my mind: Do we really listen to any of our patients?

May the following story remind us to "listen."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I am a victim from childhood rape. I stay away from doctor's offices as much as I possibly can.

A trip to the hospital is out of the question. I found a dentist who "gets it" and simply knocks me out.

My medical doctors do the same.

But it is very very difficult to make the medical profession hear all that.

The big problem for me with the medical and dental community is that everyone thinks they can help me get past my fears. If that could be done, it would have been done long ago.

This is not rational fear, and it is not born of ignorance.

What I go through is Post Traumatic Stress and I can't do anything to stop my reactions.

The biggest issue is the dern "down their nose" attitude. One nurse in the hospital one time (I was there for tummy problems, and knew the nurse from the nursing home, but she had forgotten me).

She came in and very "down her nose" said to me "Mrs. Z, are you under any unusual stress?" I wanted to pop her one.

I said, "well, yes, I am. I direct five counties of volunteers for the United Way, I have two teenage children and my husband is blind and is a trucker. I'd say I am a bit stressed."

She left me alone after that.

The overall attitude of the medical community is "get over it." And I have been treated psychologically by the best.

I have led a good life. I have two beautiful adult kids, both happy productive members of society.

The only two things I cannot do without great difficulty are medical and dental. I have been told by therapists that those two things probably will never resolve.

I am a senior citizen now and all of that was very long ago.

So what do I want? I had a perfect doctor one time, who was an older fellow, who did not have to touch me to treat me. He did everything by running blood work, etc. (Needles are not my favorite thing, but I am not terrified of them and can do that relatively easy).

But he took the time to listen to me tell him what I could and could not do, and he worked with me from there. Sadly, he has now left town.

One more story.

One time I had to have a stress test and EKG, a horrid experience for me to try to get through. My doctor had talked to the heart doc and explained, but when I got to the office, somehow the tech had not gotten the message.

And oh, it was bad, very bad. I never even entered the room. She and I had serious words before I ever got back there.

When I realized the doctor wasn't there and hadn't said anything to her about me, I said, "Well, you are going to have to work with me on this."

(I started out smiling and pleasant as I could be with my anxiety so high.)

She said, "You are the one who has to cooperate with ME!".

I left.

Office staff chased me to the car to sign a dang release. It was a big scene. I went straight to my doctor's office and we rescheduled at the hospital, where the nurse /tech and staff were all aware, let me be in charge, and we did it my way and it all worked out just fine.

It's all about listening and being heard. I don't want some big emotional event, for me or for the staff. But I do know what I can tolerate and what I cannot. Most of them just simply do not take the time to listen and do not want to deal with anybody who has special needs. When I had gallbladder surgery, I talked very bluntly and directly with the anesthesiologist beforehand, and briefly told him my story and my needs. I had two special requests:

1) - I wanted to bring earphones and tape player to listen to angel music while in that holding room.

2) - I did not want to see or hear anything. Nothing. Especially not see any silver equipment, etc. I wanted to be out long before I ever left that holding room.

He heard me and he was agreeable.

I was not afraid of the surgery. I trusted the surgeon totally. I was afraid I would see something that would set me off.

Silver things do that (medical equipment).

No, I was not raped by medical people but they had to repair the damage of my 6 year old self with sterile metal tools.

When he came in, he could tell I was upset.

"Where is your tape player and earphones?"

Me: "Well, they would not let me bring that back here".

He ran out of the room.

He was livid, and came back quickly with my earphones and my little tape player full of angel music.

All was well. The surgery was a success! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Thank you, my friend for sharing what must be a difficult story for you to tell.

However if it helps our profession to "get it," then you have served a great purpose.

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Conditional Love is a Spiritual Contradiction

by: Richard Blackstone

The paradigm of unity consciousness and love takes us away from fear and tells us that at our core we are love. This perspective of life says that we are not separate from our source but that we are one with the source and were created with the same powers and abilities as the source. Once again, “because we are one with the source.”

The concept of oneness says that in order for us to know ourselves as the love that is our very core, we must also know what love is not. We have a burning desire to experience what love is. So the opposite of love, which is fear, was created in the relative world for us to experience love.

The core of believing yourself to be separate from all things is fear. The core of believing yourself to be on with all things is love. Fear keeps us separate. Love makes us one.

Love is the glue that bonds us and holds the heavens and the earth together, because love is our very core. When you peel away all the other skins of our emotional onion what is at the core is love. (Love exists in all the other skins of this emotional onion as well)

In order for us to understand the full power and extent of love we have to know that we cannot contain love. If we are going to put such a powerful label on something that we call it the glue that holds everything together, then that glue must have powerful properties indeed. One might say all-powerful properties, truly God-like properties.

And if we are going to say that love is the glue that holds it all together then we cannot put limits on it. Love is limitless in its scope and universal in its inception. Love is everywhere and part of everything. God is love and love is God.

And if love is a part of all that exists, and it is, then there is nothing that love is not, including fear. And all things that are described as fear based, such as anger, hate, greed and coveting are all aspects of love. These aspects of love are in the relative world to show us what love, when experienced in less than pure form, is not.

We experience what love is not when we put conditions on what love really is. It is this conditional love that expresses the aspects of love that we are not. And it is conditional love that we subscribe to in the separation paradigm of the universe, because this paradigm is based in fear. And it is in the fear that we have of a vengeful God that the whole mythology by which we live was originated.

It all starts with the idea that says we are separate from God and dependant upon him for entry into heaven. From the beginning we believe that God has set conditions on his love. God will love you and allow you into heaven if you follow his commandments and if you believe in him the right way. These are the conditions and it's up to God to judge whether these conditions have been met.

The proponents of the concept of separation tell us that this God is a loving God, but then they set the conditions of his love. One of the conditions is that we must fear him because he may judge us badly. So which is it, a good God who loves us or a God we must fear? This theory tells us it is both, because this God rules with conditional love.

We take this base thought into the world of the relative where we live and project that idea into our love relationships. We have created a concept of love conceived in a fear-based mentality. The concept that we define as “love” can truly be re-defined as “conditional love.” Unfortunately “conditional love” is what dominates our very experience of love.

Our first experience of this conditional love mentality began with our parents and their love for us as children. Their conditioning told them, and they passed on to you, the idea that you needed to act and conform to certain rules and regulations that they knew about but you didn't.

When you acted within the rules you were given the love reward that you found not only pleasing but that you came to cherish. When you didn't contain your unconditional love of your newly found earthly experience in a manner that conformed to their rules, (their conditioned love) then the love that you came to cherish was withheld from you. You were held hostage to their love. Sometimes subtle, sometimes brutal, but either way it was a conditioning exercise designed to limit you to experience love as a conditional concept.

As you ventured out into the world you took this fear-based love with you and began using it in your love relationships. You gave out your love conditionally and you received love back conditionally. Even though you could see the consequences of this less than pure love, you felt powerless to stop yourself, because you had been conditioned and the concept is so pervasive that to do anything else seems to go against everything you had been taught.

We have lived so long with this paradigm and its ideas have been so ingrained into the whole strata of our societal thinking that most of the world believes that this is the way it is and there is nothing we can do about it.

The reality is that conditional love exists and pervades our society because that is what we have created. If we want to live in a world of unconditional love and reap the joyful consequences thereof we need merely choose unconditional love and then create that.

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Realize What No Other Can

by: Mary Kay Buttery

We have thousands of choices we can explore in order to reach our ultimate destination. Some of these pathways appear safe, so many of us prefer to try this route. And while this path can be blissfully easy for awhile, and we feel safe, we fit-in, we have friends, family and jobs that are pretty "normal"....we can eventually run into a boulder that life has placed somewhere along the way. And it refuses to let us go around it. We can't ignore it, we can't pretend it isn't there, and we can't go through it unaware.

We can try to forcefully move this boulder....but it's too heavy. We can find some lever to propel it away from us....but the boulder is heavier than any available lever.......So....what can we do?

Perhaps because we have no other choice, we alter our pathway. We go off the safe byway we have grown so accustomed to and we venture into the "wilderness"...where there are no boundaries, no guarantees, no other beings....It can be a scary time. The confusion. The fear of the unknown. The deep sense of loss. The indecisiveness about how to move beyond this nowhere place. It's dark. It's lonely. We are frightened at first....perhaps afraid we will get lost. But usually (what I have found) is that in taking this detour we grow braver. We see there are no monsters out there. We become more determined, We discover that each new off-shoot provides us new information about the world, the things that are possible in this world and even to our own astonishment of how much we have changed in our minds, our hearts and our thoughts.

Some of the things seen on this alternate route will be things no other person will ever be able to see in the exact same manner that we have seen them. We soon discover we would never go back to that "other" pathway again, for while it is indeed "safer", it is so much more limiting and so much less colorful than the path that we find ourselves routing.

All of us have the capacity to be innovative. However a obstacle to getting us started may be a belief that we do not possess whatever genes it takes to be imaginative. If one believes they lack any sort of creativity, it is difficult to engage in the task of seeing things in a new light. And when one labels oneself a "noncreative" person, a self-fulfilling prophecy is set in motion, often prompting a person to retreat from considering even small changes in their script.

It is for this reason that one might consider not attempting to make major alterations in ones behavior all at once, but rather take small steps. Each successful small step serves as a reinforcer for taking the next step. Success breeds success. Remember, a creative step need not be measured by its length.

>From a distance, you can see things you can't see when you're up close and personal. The difference is in working ON a circumstance rather than of operating IN it. It's all too easy to plug away at something but miss the important distinctions needed to create an elegant result.

>From high among the clouds, homes and highways appear tiny and toy-like. Looking out the window while riding in an airplane lends a unique perspective. Suddenly, our crowded and important cities seem like just a small part of a busy universe. Change of pace techniques like listening to calming music, taking a long walk , and meditation are all possible ways to disengage. Traveling to another location either actually or through a favorite book or film are also good ways of finding a new perspective. You open the door to greater intuition and increased serenity.

With a shift comes new perspectives, insights, and ahas. These sparks of insight are the reward for entering into and making friends with the dark unknown. Over time these sparks join together to illuminate a new vision for your future.

Indigenous people created a ritual space to help them handle the dark days of winter while waiting for the shift to increasing light. In the process they devised a way to hold the darkness so that it created a space of profound insights and hope.

Within The Seasons of Change, the Winter Solstice represents the time of darkness, the dark night of the soul. At first people feel lost, afraid, worried, even frantic because they can't find a way out. It's when they surrender to not knowing the answer that they relax into the darkness and merge within it in a way that changes how they see themselves. To ones grateful astonishment this does for you what you were certain you could not do for yourself. It solves the dilemma; it finds the way. And, all you need to do is follow.

Explore areas of your life that you love, and others that you fear. And don't mind making some noise in the process....if that's you. Feel life, choose to experience the power of the moment when you achieve something previously thought impossible and relish every single minute of it. You will know you have found your harbor, physical or otherwise, when you feel in your heart that you have been reborn into a life that is in this moment is just the right shape, size, and composition.

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Self Improvement, Success And Self Approval

by: Michael McGrath

Every one of us is involved in some for of self improvement or personal development. This is true of you whether it is something you currently realise or not! If you have any desires, dreams or goals then you are striving to better yourself, your environment or your world and this we call self improvement.

However, there is one key area of your life that stops you from progressing in a fast and effective manner towards your desires, dreams and goals. I will now highlight this obstacle and show you how to effectively remove it forever so that you can create the life you want!

One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.

This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Are you in a perpetual state of comparison? Do you find yourslef comparing how you perform to the performance of other people? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?

Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. Criticism, regardless of what area of yourself or your life you have focused it, has a ripple effect that damages all other areas. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. Such a belief halts your progress towards your desires. It leaves you feeling frustrated and extremely unhappy. If you are really and truly not good enough then how could you ever change anything? If you are not good enough then there can be no way for you to change yourself, your circumstances or your life.

The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Look carefully at yourself and how you interact with yourself internally. Notice when you have a tendency to berate yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Only judge your own performance. If you must compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself with yourself. Look for how you have improved. If you give a task everything you've got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.

Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person's circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!

Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.

Giving yourself approval takes practise, so start right now. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ' make that choice now!

Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?

If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!

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