by: Michael McGrath
Every one of us is involved in some for of self improvement or personal development. This is true of you whether it is something you currently realise or not! If you have any desires, dreams or goals then you are striving to better yourself, your environment or your world and this we call self improvement.
However, there is one key area of your life that stops you from progressing in a fast and effective manner towards your desires, dreams and goals. I will now highlight this obstacle and show you how to effectively remove it forever so that you can create the life you want!
One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.
This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Are you in a perpetual state of comparison? Do you find yourslef comparing how you perform to the performance of other people? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?
Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. Criticism, regardless of what area of yourself or your life you have focused it, has a ripple effect that damages all other areas. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. Such a belief halts your progress towards your desires. It leaves you feeling frustrated and extremely unhappy. If you are really and truly not good enough then how could you ever change anything? If you are not good enough then there can be no way for you to change yourself, your circumstances or your life.
The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Look carefully at yourself and how you interact with yourself internally. Notice when you have a tendency to berate yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Only judge your own performance. If you must compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself with yourself. Look for how you have improved. If you give a task everything you've got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.
Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person's circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!
Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.
Giving yourself approval takes practise, so start right now. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ' make that choice now!
Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?
If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!
