by: Jennifer T. Grainger
Did you know that today's midlife women (ages 40 to 65) are the first generation of women to be culturally free to transition into their Second Adulthood?
Did you know that the midlife transition often includes:
- being dissatisfied with your life, your career, and your important relationships that have provided fulfillment for a long time.
- feeling anxious or restless and wanting to do something completely different, but not really knowing what it is.
- feeling confusion about who you are really, or where your life is going.
Most of our mothers and grandmothers never had a chance to blossom into their Authentic Selves. Trained from childhood to be subservient, and being financially dependent in a patriarchal society, they were expected to fade into the background, their main value being unpaid babysitters and community volunteers. Instead of fading some had "nervous breakdowns."
The Current Generation of Baby Bloomer Women Are Simply Not Going To Stand For It!
However, navigating the midlife transition is a daunting journey. There are very few role models to turn to. With the lack of a road map, and many external pressures for you to not change, the results are predictable: feelings of anger, guilt, confusion, doubt, anxiety, and the fear of being selfish.
Did you know that the midlife hormonal changes that can cause anxiety, fatigue, depression, fuzzy thinking, and mood swings are your body's way of telling you to STOP and PAY ATTENTION to yourself?
You'd think paying attention to yourself would be an easy thing to do.
It's not!
After spending the first half of your life caring for everyone else, you might find the connection to your Authentic Self high on the endangered species list!
I often hear women say, "But it feels so selfish to think about what I want." When they become convinced that "giving from a full cup" is beneficial to everyone, then I hear, "Wow, I didn't know it would be so hard to pay attention to what I want!"
The good news is:
- all of this is NORMAL
- there is plenty of help available
- when you successfully transition into your Second Adulthood, the people who resisted your changes the most, (including yourself) will receive the most benefit of engaging with you as a joyful and contented person who is passionately living her life On Purpose.
Here are a couple of books I found useful:
- Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood: What Matters: What Works: What's Next, by Suzanne Braun Levine
- If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife, by Stephanie Marston
- Navigating Midlife: Women Becoming Themselves, Robyn Vickers-Willis
Lastly, don't be mislead by our youth obsessed culture. The rewards of being able to live authentically far outweigh the youth obsession. I am sure you have had the experience of seeing an older woman whose inner and outer beauty made it hard not to stare. Being a beautiful, attractive, mature woman gets easier every day with eating right, exercising (including facial muscles), good skin care, and thinking positively. That's what I am going for!
