How Can You Know Yourself?

by: Don Yates

Most every self-help courses start with the idea that you must know yourself before you can know what you are going to do and how you will act with others. Even he Bible tells us to "Know thyself." before you can know God. Even though most people would claim they know who they are, in reality they don't. People may have a general idea of what they like or want or may even have some sort of direction; but they don't pursue what really makes them function as they do. Why do you react the way you do? What makes you get angry or happy? Most people can't begin to answer these questions about themselves.

This is why some people require long term therapy with an analyst to help solve their problems. Psychiatrist can detect the complexities of people much better than the individuals themselves. They realize the layers of entrenched beliefs within the human mind must be approached with caution and restraint.

Common people do not evaluate the physiological side of someone else, because they could not detect abnormal traits without proper training. Even if they tried it would still take a trained professional to make a valid evaluation. Any evaluation of a person would differ from person to person. Certainly your evaluation of yourself would be strikingly different than any persons' evaluation of you. You would tend to be harder in your assessment of yourself than someone else. Why? Because you know what your expatiations are and if you are living up to them.

Only you would know what you believe in and how you would react to different stimuli. Another person's evaluation would be based on their own value system and their perception of how it should be structured. We see ourselves and the world from the inside out, others see us from the outside in. They see a projection of us, like an actor in a play. Remember the saying, "the world is a stage and we are only actors," well it's true. You project what you believe to be appropriate for the particular situation. That is why it is called "action" because you become engaged as the actor in the act. Because your actions are determined by your associations and experiences. How past encounters are interpreted will establish precedence for how it effects you in the future. No two individuals will make the same judgments and have the same reactions to a given situation. Just like everyone looks different and sounds different they also see the world from a slightly different angle, color and emotion. For a person to know him/herself is to have self assurance, but then, everyone harbors some fears and doubts that they don't know about.

You can set down and self-evaluate yourself, but your examination would be bias and would never be true in the eyes of someone else. Their examination of you would always be tainted by their own self serving eccentrics. You can only make a determination of how you are going to accept or reject any particular person or thing, but not why you made the assessment. True assessments come from a mixture of previous determinations. These are accounted as values and morals which are driven by your individual, social, financial, physical, interaction, and religious considerations. These differences are what makes you an individual. The fact is, you can know what you want but never totally why you want it. The most valuable contribution you can make to yourself is in the quality of your relationships with others. Be truthful, faithful, and diligent in all that you do. Honesty, and forthrightness, comes as a result of your doing the right thing. So, don't worry who you are but rather concentrate on how you are.

Developing a positive attitude.

No one is guaranteed to live life in a rose garden. You are bombarded daily with stressful and negative events that there is no getting around. At times life really stinks but you still have to face the relationships, jobs, financial matters, physical fitness, religion which all pose questions and all present challenges. Each phase of life will present complexities unique to that particular period in your life. How is your inner self contending with all the complexities you face on a daily bases? You will never be completely free from challenges but by knowing yourself you can face adversities with confidence. Each life event can be met with the assurance that you can and will triumph. It is important that in the face of adversity that you are collected and maintain a positive attitude. Anything can be overcome by a person who knows what his/her limits are and with the right attitude. It is attitude, without a doubt, that is the one most important things you possess, and guess what, you are in control of it. It's up to you how you greet the world and everyone in it. Positive is met with positive, and your positive attitude will reflect a winning personality. Let’s face it, success and failure are the same, only on opposite sides of the rule. It’s the law of cause and effect. If effects are to be changed, the cause must be altered. It’s the law, nothing personal, it’s the same for everyone.