by: Linda-Ann Stewart
Many years ago, I participated in an exercise at a workshop to show us
how at ease we were with allowing good into our lives. As I imagined a
little extra good flowing in, I was fine. But when I visualized a lot
more good, I started to get anxious, even scared.
The exercise continued, expanding the amount of good I would let in.
When I got past that first barrier, I was once again comfortable with
the concept of letting more good into my life. It was an interesting
exercise for me, showing, that for some reason, I was fearful of
allowing more Universal good flow into me.
Why would anyone be afraid of more good? Imagine heaven smiling down
upon you, living in grace, everything falling into place in your life.
Why would that create anxiety? Isn't that exactly what you want?
Since the time of the exercise, I've discovered that many people share
the fear I experienced. It comes in various shapes and forms, and from
multiple causes. And it's one reason you unconsciously block your
desires. Because of past experiences, you don't know what catastrophe
will happen if you actually achieve what you say you want in life.
Over the years, I've identified a few reasons for that concern:
Fear of a backlash. If you receive more good, you fear that somehow it
will be taken away. It's almost a superstition that one hand will give
the good, and another hand will take it away. Sometimes, this comes from
childhood. You might have received something you really wanted, but
then had a cherished toy taken from you because your parent decided that
you'd outgrown it.
Have to give it away. I've known several people who deliberately kept
their income at a low level so they wouldn't have to give their extra
money to indigent relatives. They couldn't say "No" to the relatives,
and save the extra for a rainy day in their own life. From a young age,
they were trained that they had to give all their extra toys and
cherished possessions to their siblings or cousins. They were the
"Cinderella" of the family, and haven't realized that things can be
different now.
Fear of punishment. Somehow, you fear that more good will bring some
punishment upon you. Some force will come down and make you pay for
having something great happen. You're receiving more good than you
deserve and should be flogged for it. The only thing that punishes you
is your old programming. You deserve all the good you receive.
This is one of the issues I discovered I had. I once had a childhood
friend who would put me down whenever I had something nice happen in my
life. She once told me that she wanted to make sure I didn't exaggerate
my importance. So I stopped telling her of any positives that occurred.
To begin to overcome this irrational fear that more good is scary,
examine what happened when you were a child. When you got some toy or
reward that others didn't get, how did you feel? What happened? Did you
get beat up, was it taken away, were you emotionally abandoned, resented
or attacked? Maybe you always had to share, and when you got the toy
back, it was damaged or destroyed.
Whatever happened to you, it set up a pattern in your subconscious to
expect this type of reaction every time you received something good in
your life. And it probably continues to this day. To begin to combat
that programming, remind yourself that you're the grownup now, and you
have the power to say "Yes" or "No" or "Take a hike." And that you have
the strength, ability, knowledge and resources to take care of your own
inner self and worth.
I still practice the workshop exercise occasionally. It gives me
feedback as to where I might be blocking myself, and to expand my
acceptance of more good. When I feel the fear, I talk to it, letting it
know that it doesn't have to protect me anymore. You can do the same
thing, and allow yourself to open your mind to receive more good every
day.
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