by: Karen Schachter
If you've been sitting on some dreams of your own lately, or have been feeling stuck in some area of your own life, here are a few simple steps (simple, but not always so easy) that I'm using to stay focused on the goals and dreams in my own life that I recently shared with you. You can use these very same techniques - it's not rocket science, but it does take a bit of determination and a firm decision to go for it, despite the bumps in the road that ALWAYS come up.
1) Stay tuned in to your desire and your dream, no matter what. Even in the face of fear, or naysayers, or external pressures. So often, we experience a wish or a desire or a dream and then we shut ourselves off from it. We tell ourselves, "I can't do that" or "who am I to want that" or "I'm too busy" or whatever. So our lives stay in status quo and our dreams get put on the back burner (again).
Not fun. Trust me. I've been there. Whenever I hit a bump or a negative thought (from either myself or someone else), I keep envisioning what I want: I see me with my book, speaking to audiences of moms and girls, being a guide and a mentor to women who want MORE for themselves and their daughters. I imagine what that will feel like and I let the excitement wash over me.
Your desires and your dreams are in your heart for GOOD REASON. They are a part of you aching to be expressed (you wouldn't have them if you weren't supposed to be bringing them to life). What do you see, and how does that FEEL?
2) Get support from someone - or a group of people - who has your best interest in mind and who is striving to grow as well. Find a buddy or a coach or a mentor or a mastermind group who can help you hold your vision of what you want, who believes in you, and who can help you take action despite fear.
I know this can be easier said than done. Many of us are surrounded by others who are also stuck in fear and may not know how to really support us. I can tell you that for me, I notice who I admire. Who is living their life in a way that is similar to how I want to be living mine (not doing the exact same thing necessarily, but modeling the type of courage and audacity and authenticity that I aspire to?). Those are the people I consult with and share my visions with. That's how I chose my coach (and mastermind group) this past year - I found someone who was kind and compassionate, but also took a "no excuses" approach to living her dream.
3) Keep moving - baby steps sometimes, big bold steps other times - in the direction of your dreams and desires. We all feel fear - believe me, I've been feeling a lot of it lately - especially when we're about to do something new or important or meaningful. Fear is a FEELING (not an action). Sometimes it's there to protect you from real danger (like going up and petting a lion and getting eaten), but other times it's your unconscious mind's way of protecting you from imagined, or not-so-terrible-after-all, danger (rejection, failure, disappointment - small potatoes compared to being eaten by a lion).
So how do you take action, despite fear? When the inspiration strikes - act! When you get a good idea, when you're in the groove, when you just know something feels right - that's the time to take action!
I've found that the clearer I get about my goals, and the more action I take toward them (even tiny baby steps), the more things SHOW UP in my life to support what I want (it's like a bit of serendipity!). For example, the other day, as I was thinking about my upcoming "Be The Change" coaching program for moms and thinking about where I could hold the retreats, I began to visualize what I wanted (all this while blowing dry my hair on the way out to a party). At the party later that evening, I met someone who just happened to know of the perfect retreat house that was so similar to what I had been picturing. CRAZY.
You will notice that as you clarify and move toward your goals, a bit of magic will begin to happen.
4) Get out of your own way. Seriously, you are the only one in your way, so clear the clutter - the time clutter, the paper clutter, the mind clutter, the house clutter, the body clutter - ALL THE STUFF (both real and created) that continues to clutter you up so there's no room for you to have what you really want. Create the space and your dreams will have a place to land.
I invite you to join me in turning toward your dreams - go ahead and bring them right down into your heart and into your mind right now - and put one foot in front of the other along your path. I'm right here next to you if you need a hand.
Copyright (c) 2009 Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds
